“It was before you came to Waterford. There’s no reason for you to know. I just assumed Dev or Huan had mentioned it by now.” She picks at her nails as she speaks, her shoulders hunched. “Lung cancer. Weird thing is he never smoked a day in his life.”
Thick silence fills the space between us. My mind races back through all the previous conversations we’ve had, searching for other times I might have inadvertently mentioned her father. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
“Everyone has problems.”
“I wish I’d known sooner. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I never talk about it.”
I walk over and hug her before she can shrug away, which she totally does.
“I got obsessed with medicine when Dad was in the hospital. I was constantly asking the doctors questions and trying to follow them during rounds. They didn’t like that very much.” She gives me a tiny smirk. “But what I really wanted was to be the person who discovered the new treatment. The one that would have saved Dad if we’d had it in time. I told Dad I was going to make sure other families never had to go through what we did. And that’s still my goal.”
“Sage, my god.” I sit back. “You’re amazing.”
She shrugs. “More like determined. Afterward, I concentrated on school more than ever. It became my number one priority, above boys and even friends. I was planning on keeping my head down here too, but then I got you as a roommate.” She smiles at me. “I couldn’t stay locked up in my room all the time with you around.”
“I guess I can be a distraction sometimes too.”
“Not a distraction—a respite. But Mom’s trusting me to make this trip worth it. She would have rather I saved the money and used it for college tuition next year, but I convinced her that with this research I’d get into a better college, maybe even get more scholarships. She finally relented. So now...” She looks up at me.
“Now you need to deliver.”
She smiles slightly. “Something like that.”
“You must think I’m the most idiotic, superficial person you’ve ever met.”
“No, I don’t think that. You and I are just... different.”
I swallow hard. Wearedifferent, in most every way, and it’s pretty clear which one of us is better.
“That’s not what I meant.” She squeezes my hand, somehow knowing my feelings without asking. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I just don’t want you to get sucked into what everyone else wants from you. I know you all think I’m boring sometimes”—I shake my head in protest and she arches an eyebrow—“but I’m doing what’s best for me. You need to do that too. Stop thinking about what everyone else wants from you and concentrate on what makesyouhappy. You are awesome as you are, with or without a boy in your life. You’re funny and smart and the most joyful person I’ve ever met. Don’t let anything pull you down. Don’t lose yourself.”
I wrap my arms around her. This time, she doesn’t let go.
Chapter
37
Somehow I almost manage to keep up with my work duringthe next week. I finish my big British lit paper and make flash cards for social psych. I reread my chemistry chapters. The only time I come up for air is when Will calls me, which is becoming more frequent. Now that he has a plan to get out from under his father, he can’t stop thinking about it.
“What about George Mason University?” he asks as soon as I pick up. “Have you heard of that one?”
“Um...” I close my psychology notes. “Yeah, but I don’t know anything about it.”
He sighs. “Father wants me to have a plan before he fully agrees and this is all turning into so much work. How about I come pick you up and we can run away from our obligations for a bit?”
Getting away from my literal pile of work is so tempting, but both Sage’s and Dev’s words echo in my mind. I shake my head. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’ve got so much to do still.”
“Come on, Elle.” His voice turns soft and pleading. “Can’t I persuade you? What happened to the girl I met at the flea market?The one who said she was here to have fun?”
“That girl realized she needs better grades if she wants to make it into college. You have no idea how many chem chapters I still need to study. I don’t know how I’m going to get it all done in time.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’ll work it all out. But we have something much more important to discuss—when we can see each other again. We only have this week left.”
I frown. I wish Will would slow down so I could tell him more about what’s going on. I need someone to vent to without that person worrying (like Mom) or telling me to start working (like Sage). Hopefully it isn’t like this next year.
“I can’t until my finals are done. But I’m free on Friday.”
