Leaning over, Rupert says, “Should have gone with the leotard.”
Rupert:Ask another question. Try again.
Theo:No. Not happening.
Rupert:I think if you keep Taylor Swift out of it, then you’ll find success.
Theo:Kitty won’t even acknowledge me. When I sneezed, neither of them said bless you. I can understand why Renley didn’t, she’s clearly trying to avoid me. But Kitty? She’s pissed.
Rupert:Which is why you need to win her back. Go ahead, ask another question.
Theo: No.
Rupert:Do it.
Theo:I’d rather suffer through the silence.
Rupert:DO IT!
Theo:NO!!
Rupert clears his throat and then to my horror says, “Theo has a question he wants to ask the car, but he’s too nervous. Why don’t we clap or snap our fingers in encouragement?”
Rupert starts snapping his fingers, but I quickly push his hand down into the seat.
I’m going to murder him.
“You have a question?” Renley asks, looking at me in the rearview mirror.
So the first time she’s going to talk is to put me on the spot. Fucking great.
“Uh…yeah.” I run my fingers over my thick stubble.
“Well, get on with it, don’t keep us waiting,” Kitty says.
“Umm, well, I was wondering…” Why isn’t anything coming to mind?
It’s like I’ve completely blanked; not a single word is registering.
“Yes?” Renley pushes.
Nervously laughing, I tug my hair.
Anything, you fucking nitwit.
Just ask anything.
“How do you, uh…how do you feel about leotards?”
Fuck, I hate myself.
I glance over at Rupert, who’s winking at me and giving me the thumbs-up while the ladies in the front quickly exchange a look, one I’m sure is full of judgment.
Why? Just…why?
Rupert:How long is this car ride? I feel like we’ve been trapped in this tin can for at least three hours. Has it been three hours? I’ve lost all track of time.
Theo:It’s been thirty minutes.
