“Thank you,” I whisper, happy someone else is with me. Nikko has always said Lalo has the best read on everyone, and he proves that all the time.
The others seem to pick up on my distress, too, but Tang is the first to try to give me a chance to explain. “What’s really going on? Are you in a relationship with him?”
“Not yet, but I want to be,” I say, hands making fists with the hem of my shirt. “Lalo-hyung is right, I’ve liked him forever. For so long. We’re just figuring things out, but I want to give this a chance. Ineedto.”
There’s a long silence, like everyone is thinking about howto handle this. What to do or say to me. As the youngest, I’ve always respected my elders and been as compliant and agreeable as I can be. But this is for me. And I’m not going to let them talk me out of seeing him, no matter what they say. I’m an adult, and I want this. I wanthim.
Chita still looks torn, but he turns to Nikko and asks, “What do you think?”
I appreciate that as our leader, he’s willing to accept other opinions, and no one knows me like Nikko does. I tap his knee, waiting for him to speak. I trust that he’ll have my back.
“I’m into it,” Nikko declares. “The two of them make sense to me somehow. I think they’ll be good together.”
Leaning over, I rest my head on Nikko’s shoulder, deeply thankful for him and the way he says it so matter-of-factly, like he already knows how things will turn out.
“You have to tell us more,” Ryo insists, pointing a finger at me. “Chita is right, it’s not a good idea. I’m not going to try to tell you not to do it, though, because I know you’d find a way. But ifwe’regoing to keep secrets for you, we have to know what we’re staying quiet about. So you have to make sure we’re in the loop.”
Tang and Chita nod, and suddenly, I feel like I could cry. I should have known they would come around for me. These are my brothers, my best friends. My family. I have always been able to count on them.
“I will,” I say. “This is very new. For me and for him. But this…heis important to me.”
“And you’re important to us,” Lalo reminds me.
And then I actually am crying.
Happy tears.
ELEVEN
KIJA
Sun blinks at me, slow, like a contented cat. The way his hair is mashed up all crazy against the pillow gives him the overall vibe of a cuddly lion.
“You should sleep,” I say, already knowing he’ll protest.
“Don’t want to,” he replies with a pout that makes me smile. “I’m not tired.”
I can’t help but laugh as he tries valiantly to stifle a yawn, fighting it until the very end. “Okay, well, I’m older than you, so maybeI’mthe one who needs sleep.”
“Noooo.” His whine is exaggerated, adorable. “I want to talk to you.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” I promise. “Well, later today.”
“Not soon enough,” Sun grumbles, even as he pulls the covers up closer to his chin. He looks at me, eyes locked on mine. “One more thing, please.”
It’s become a familiar request.One more thing. He wants another fact about me. Another story or piece of my history. A memory. For every one I give, he usually shares one, too. From the trivial and mundane to the heavy and revealing, we’ve been learning a lot about each other through these late night chats.
He’s surprised me over and over, in what he’s told me and what he’s asked. He seems to be open to any request I have, answering honestlyand easily. I realized quickly that there was so much more to him than I had ever expected—depth and compassion and drive—that ran so much deeper than it’s possible to know from just keeping things professional.
I think for a moment, trying to come up with something interesting. I end up telling him, “I slept with a light on until I was about fourteen or fifteen. I finally stopped with the lights by the time I got to college, but still had to have the TV on.”
“What about now?” he asks, curious for more details, like always.
“Not afraid of the dark anymore,” I report proudly. Without thinking, I add, “I’m not sure I’ve ever told anyone that before. I don’t think Jase even knows about that.”
Sun’s whole face lights up, like he’s delighted to have this secret about me. “Just me,” he whispers.
“Just you,” I nod, enjoying the way his eyes smile with him. And that I can be the source of that kind of happiness with something so simple. “Get some sleep.”
