I’m certain now.
Thanking the driver as I hop out a few blocks from our building, I close the door and wait for him to make it down the street before I let myself have a moment. A silly little celebratory dance in the middle of this alley, because I can.
Once inside, I am as quiet as possible as I unlock the door to the apartment. There’s always a risk Chita will still be up—he says he does his best work late at night.
“There you are!” Chita exclaims, sounding like the exasperated father that he often is. “We were looking for you!”
I’m more than a little startled that not only has he been waiting for me, but he’s also not alone. I was very muchnotexpecting to walk in to all of the lights on and the rest of the members in our living room. We spend plenty of time together still, but usually not at 2 a.m. anymore. “Uh… hi.”
“Where have you been?” Ryo asks, eyeing me suspiciously. His gaze lingers on my face for a moment and he remarks, “You look really happy.”
“I am,” I tell him as I slip off my shoes and cross the room to drop onto the couch next to Nikko, who is smiling at me. Being the bestie that he is, I’m pretty sure he kept his mouth shut about where I’ve been. But I figure I might as well tell everyone what’s going on now, rather than let them find out later. I take a deep breath and let it out as a dreamy sigh before confessing, “I’m in love.”
“You’rewhatnow?” Tang asks.
“Excuse me?” Chita raises an eyebrow. “Wherewereyou?”
“I think the question we should be asking iswho,notwhere,” Lalo mumbles, not loud enough for everyone to hear, but I catch it.
Nikko elbows me, a gentle nudge to say more. He knows as well as I do that most of them won’t give up until they have answers.
“I said, I’m in love,” I repeat and I see four pairs of eyes waiting for additional information. Ryo actually gestures to try to keep me talking. I smile before I say, “I was with Kija-hyung. At his house.”
“Kija? From the company Kija?” Chita looks incredulous. “At hishouse?”
“What were you doing? There. At his house.” Ryo frowns. “In the middle of the night. Together.”
“We were talking,” I reply. “Mostly.”
Nikko snorts, but tries to cover it up by pulling his shirt over his face.
Lalo chuckles. “I told you Nikko knew what was going on.”
“Why didn’t you say anything when we asked?” Tang yelps, shaking his phone in his hand. “I didn’t need to text him a thousand times!”
“It’s not my story,” Nikko tells him. “I said I was sure he was fine. And he is.”
Chita’s got his head in his hands, and I almost feel bad. I know he’s having some sort of crisis right now—that things are happening right in front of him, and he’s not aware. He has always been a guardian for us, both literally watching out for us and figuratively protecting us from whatever he could, and this is honestly, probably, a little bit of an insult to him.
“I’m sorry,” I say, bowing toward the older members. “I didn’t mean to worry anyone. I am fine. More than fine. I promise.”
Because they can’t stay mad at me, I can tell they all relax a little when I apologize for giving them a scare. I should have taken my phone with me, I realize that was stupid to not have it, but I was so excited at the prospect of finally meeting up with Kija I didn’t want anything to interrupt or take away from the moments I had with him.
“Hewaswith a responsible adult,” Lalo comments and I feel like he’s almost amused by the situation.
Ryo squawks, kicking his foot up in Lalo’s general direction. “How are you being so casual about this?”
“How are any of you surprised?” he asks. “He’s been in love with Kija-hyung for years and he’s not subtle. If anything, I can’t believe it took this long for something to happen.”
I watch as they all turn to Nikko, waiting for him to weigh in, and he shrugs. “You were all there when it started. I don’t know how you’ve missed it either.”
Chita groans, obviously frustrated, then makes some very intense eye contact with me. “I don’t know what happened tonight, but you can’t do this, Lux. Whatever you want to happen, just can’t. There’s too much at risk here, for both of you.”
I’m shocked by how much it hurts to hear him say that. I know he’s just being reasonable, but I don’t need that right now. I saw the way they all supported Nikko without hesitation, so why is it different when it’s me?
Nikko reaches over to squeeze my hand, and I’m grateful to know that he’s still on my side. I knew he would be, but the reassurance right now is good for me.
Lalo looks at me, seeming to do some sort of quick assessment, and remarks, “I think it’s a little too late for that, Chi.”
