“I won’t let anything happen,” Shade added, his knuckles trailing down my arm.
Once Wista left, I turned into him, soaking up his strength for the small journey I would face alone.
“Keep me close,” he murmured, and I nodded, gripping his shirt even tighter, like I could stop him from leaving even if I was the one who’d asked him to.
He brushed another light kiss to my forehead before his body morphed into smoke, swirling into the lamp resting beside my untouched meal, the small metal trinket humming again. Picking up the small knife beside it, I pricked my thumb until blood pooled, then clutched the lamp, ensuring my thumb remained clear from its surface but close enough to release Shade at a moment’s notice.
I hesitated when I grasped the doorknob in an iron grip. It had been two days since the wedding, and this was my first time leaving the suite.
I could do this. I could leave this room. Shade was with me.
I was fine.
Steeling myself, I opened the door and stepped into the hall beyond. Pierce turned toward me, surprise flickering across his face.
“Miss Adelia?” His usually furrowed brow deepened, and I stepped around him, keeping as much distance between us as possible and never taking my eyes off him. He was with Terym when they stormed into my room, though he seemed to have no idea why.
“I’m going to the library.” I started down the hall. Pierce shadowed me, keeping close as we passed servants and nobles alike, some stopping to stare at my bruised face. I decided I wouldn’t cover up what the king had done this time—people should know.
When we rounded the next corner into the hall with the entrance to the massive castle library, Pierce gripped my elbow. I flinched away, yanking out of his grip and putting several steps between us. My chest constricted, and my heart thumped erratically against my ribs.
Pierce held his hands out placatingly, eyes wide once he saw the sheer panic on my face. He glanced up and down thehallway, and upon finding it empty, leaned in slightly, though still keeping some distance.
“Miss Adelia, what happened?” he muttered.
So, he didn’t know, then.
“Why do you care?” He jerked away as if I’d slapped him, and a sliver of guilt slid into my gut. I wouldn’t let it grab hold; despite my previous trust in him, he still stood between Shade and the king.
Protected the true monster.
I couldn’t trust him now.
“I can protect you,” he murmured, and I scoffed, crossing my arms.
“Not when you serve the one I need protection from.”
He ran a hand through his brown hair, glancing down the hall again and looking more flustered than I had ever seen. “You can trust me.”
I snorted and shook my head. “I can’t trust anyone.”
Turning on my heel, I stormed through the aged timber doors. After several moments, Pierce’s heavy steps followed. He might think I could trust him, that he could protect me, but he didn’t even know what I needed protection from. That it washisking who had hurt me beyond repair.
The Keeper barely raised his head as I stalked through the desks, and Pierce’s footsteps stopped behind me. He’d trailed after Shade and me enough times on our search for the tunnels that he knew we wouldn’t escape this room unnoticed if he stayed close to the door.
I made my way to the small sitting area along the back wall we’d stumbled upon on one of the searches Wista had joined us for. Hidden behind the stacks, the chaise lounges faced a flickering fire. Someone, whether it was the Keeper or a servant, always kept the space clean and the fire burning. Even a box of fresh cookies waited on the small table in the center of the space.It was deep enough into the room no one would overhear us. In all the times we had visited, we had rarely come across anyone else.
I placed my bleeding thumb onto the lamp the moment I arrived, releasing Shade into the space before me. He solidified quicker than usual, swirling silver eyes finding mine, then dancing around the room to search for threats.
“It’s just us,” I murmured, and he nodded, grasping my hand in his and leading me to the closest lounge.
“You should stay off your feet,” he said when I didn’t immediately sit. He wouldn’t follow me down, he’d take a protective stance the entire time we were here, and I needed to speak with him.
He watched me intently. Strong. Silent. A steady rock in the growing storm in my chest.
“I’m sorry, Shade.” He froze, eyes growing guarded. It was exactly what I said just before I hurt him last time, so I rushed to continue. “Before the wedding, I should have listened to you, we should have tried to escape, done something more. I was so stuck in my head about what we should do that I didn’t think to listen to anyone else. If I had listened, if we had run, I wouldn’t—Terym would never have—” I gasped the last words, and tears stung my eyes. I cursed myself for growing emotional when I was trying to apologize, this wasn’t what I wanted.
Shade gripped my shoulders and hugged me to him. I buried my face in his hard chest. “None of this is your fault, Adelia. Do you hear me? None.” He leaned back, searching my face, with empathy and pain shining in his eyes. “You were doing what you could to protect your sister. I understand your position more than you know, but you can’t blame yourself.”
