“I’m not, particularly,” Clayton replied. “It was the strangest thing. He wrote me a letter. Apparently, the man cannot bear to be away from the company of his betrothed for so long. He’s coming here to see Lady Julianna.”
“Really?” Bell arched a brow. “That’s…odd.”
Rhys bit the inside of his cheek, but quickly ensured his normal devil-may-care smile appeared on his face. “Hard to believe, given that he’s betrothed to Lady Julianna,” he said with a snort.
“That’s not all,” Clayton continued, shaking his head. “Apparently, he’s so enamored by her, he’s written to the Duke of Montlake asking him if they might move up the wedding date.”
“Really?” Bell drawled again, his eyes widening slightly.
“Sounds like Murdock cannot wait for his wedding night,” Clayton continued with a chuckle.
Rhys clenched his jaw. Did Julianna know about this? She hadn’t mentioned to him that her beloved Murdock was on the way. And she certainly hadn’t mentioned that her wedding day had been moved up. But given the extent of their interactions in the stables, neither were exactly pieces of information he would expect her to be particularly forthcoming with.
Still, Rhys couldn’t ignore the clench of his stomach when he’d heard that Murdock wanted the wedding date moved up. “Did Murdock mention a new date?” he heard himself asking.
Bell glanced at him with an arched brow. Rhys steadfastly ignored the marquess.
“No,” Clayton replied. “But it sounded as if he wanted it to be as soon as possible.”
“Apparently, Lady Julianna is remaining chaste until her wedding night,” Bell replied, before adding, “Apologies, Worth. I hope that doesn’t rub you the wrong way.”
“It doesn’t rub me the wrong way,” Rhys replied, doing his best to keep the nonchalant grin on his face. “I wish Murdock the best. He’s going to need all the help he can get, being married to that woman the rest of his life.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
This time Julianna didn’t even pretend to sleep. It had to be close to midnight and she hadn’t slept a wink. She was at the window in her and Mary’s bedchamber, staring out at the moon again.
She loved to imagine all the other people underneath the moon, all the other lives that were unfolding beneath its calming steady light. There were so many people in the world. People who had much worse problems than she had, but she couldn’t help sometimes staring up at the moon and wishing she could trade places with one of them. Perhaps live the life of a young woman whodidn’thave to meet her family’s high expectations. The life of someone who was free to marry whomever she chose, and slump at the dinner table, and forget her manners from time to time, and wear clothing that was not of the latest fashion, with never a hair out of place. Sometimes when Julianna looked at the moon, she imagined a type of freedom that would never exist in her life, and if only for a few brief moments, she was happy.
“Can’t sleep again?” came Mary’s soft voice out of the darkness.
Julianna turned to her sister with a guilty look. Mary had lit a candle. “Oh, dear. I do hope I’m not keeping you awake.”
“I never knew how much trouble you had sleeping,” Mary replied, padding over to stand next to Julianna. They didn’t have this problem at home. They had separate bedchambers across the corridor from each other.
“I don’t usually…” Oh, who was she fooling? She’d had trouble sleeping for months and her sister might as well know it. She didn’t need to put on an act for Mary. “It’s been difficult for some time now,” she said instead.
“Come, tell me about it,” Mary offered. Taking the candle, she moved over to the two chairs near the fireplace and sat in one, motioning for Julianna to sit in the other. She placed the candle on the table between the chairs.
Julianna slowly followed her sister, trying to think of what she could possibly say to explain her recent troubles.
“What’s the matter?” Mary asked as soon as Julianna was settled in the seat across from her. “How long have you been unable to sleep?”
Julianna took a deep breath. “I suppose it began after my engagement to Lord Murdock.”
“Ah,” Mary replied wisely. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
Julianna looked twice at her sister. “It doesn’t? Why?”
Mary gave her a sympathetic look. “I didn’t feel as if it was my place to say this before, but the truth is, I don’t know that you and Lord Murdock suit.”
“What?”
Mary winced. “I know. I’m sorry. Perhaps I shouldn’t be saying it now either, but I’ve never got the impression that you were particularly happy with the match.Lord Murdockseems happy with the match.Mama and Papaseem happy with the match. But you never have. That’s why I said what I said the other night, about not marrying someone you don’t love.”
Julianna opened her mouth to deny it but quickly shut it again. What good would a denial do? She’d been so accustomed to refuting her true feelings that the first words on the tip of her tongue had been an immediate denial. What did that say about her? What did that say about the role she was expected to play? “I don’t know if I love him,” she offered lamely, but truthfully.
The look Mary gave her was filled with both skepticism and empathy. “Don’t you, Julianna?”
