‘I’m okay. Much better now that I know the surgery went so well. It’s all been incredibly worrying.’ A sudden thought entered her head. ‘Oh God, I was supposed to be helping out with the food bank at Domusamare tonight, but I’m definitely not going to be able to make it, and I might have to take a break from volunteering until Annie is back on her feet. Nigel is worried about how Max might react to her injuries, so I’ll probably have to do the majority of visits until she’s strong enough to go, and to deal with any comments he might make about the way she looks.’
‘Of course, no one would expect you to do anything other than prioritise your family at a time like this.’ The oddly formal tone was still there and Felix seemed colder somehow, almost as if they were strangers. Was he regretting their relationship suddenly? He hadn’t pushed her to tell Max’s family about them, saying it needed to be Eve’s decision. But maybe he’d never wanted her to come clean, and it had been the clandestine nature of being with her that had appealed. There’d been no expectations of any future when it was something they had to keep to themselves and maybe he’d liked it that way. What he said next did nothing to reassure her. ‘I’m sure if you wanted to quit altogether, everyone would understand.’
Was that what he wanted, to sever one of the bonds that had brought them together in the first place? She shook herself,determined not to go down a rabbit hole trying to guess what Felix was thinking. She’d be better off just asking him straight.
‘I don’t want to quit.’ Eve glanced at Annie and then looked back towards Felix. ‘Are you okay? You seem a bit strained.’
‘I’m just worried about you and Max, I suppose, and how all of this might affect him.’
‘Max will be okay.’ Eve sighed, wishing what she was about to say wasn’t true, because it was a horrible reminder of just how much the man she had adored had changed. ‘If things don’t affect Max personally, he’s okay with pretty much anything. So as long as one of us buys the stuff he wants and takes it in to him, picks up his takeaways and makes sure he can access his streaming services, it won’t stress him out all that much. As you know, sadly his empathy was one of the things he seemed to lose after the injury, so he won’t be worrying about how much pain Annie is in, only how much her absence might affect him. As long as Nigel and I can minimise that, he’ll be fine.’
‘He’s lucky to have you, they all are.’ For the first time there was genuine warmth in Felix’s voice and she desperately wanted him to take a step towards her, to come and hold her and tell her it was all going to be okay. But instead he took a step away.
‘Okay, I’ll leave you to it then, but if there’s anything I can do to support Max while Annie is out of action, I’m happy to help.’
‘Thank you.’ Eve’s voice was small and it felt as if her heart had constricted to a hundredth of its size. Felix suddenly felt like a stranger, at a time when she desperately needed someone to lean on. She should have played it safe and kept his friendship, because now she had a horrible feeling she’d lost that too and she needed a friend right now, almost more than she ever had before.
It had taken a sleepless night before the realisation had hit Eve that she was still surrounded by friends, even if she had lost Felix. Word had spread quickly about Annie’s accident, and when Eve had eventually given up trying to sleep and got up at 5a.m.; there’d been texts from Eden, Drew, Isla, Meg, Aidan, Gwen, Esther and Danni. At just after ten a huge bunch of flowers had arrived from the whole team, and Danni had called to tell her to take as much time off as she needed. Eve had been incredibly grateful for the offer, but Nigel had decided to stay off work until Annie was released from hospital. So Eve had told Danni she wanted to come in for her late shift as usual, in case Annie ended up needing more support when she went home and Eve had to take time off then instead.
She’d gone to see Max on the way into work and had explained what had happened. His first question had been whether he’d still be getting the pods for the coffee machine in his room that he’d asked Annie to order, and she’d had to fight the urge to take hold of his shoulders and shake him. She knew Max couldn’t help the way he was, but he was so far removed from the kind, loving, and generous person he’d been before the assault. Now he was completely self-interested, barely seeming to register anyone else’s problems, even when they were spelled out to him, much in the way that a narcissist might react. All that mattered to Max was whether it would affect what that person usually did for him. It was almost as if his frontal lobe had never developed at all, rather than having been catastrophically damaged during the assault.
Eve had always known that the brain was an incredibly complex and fragile structure, her awareness of that havingbeen heightened during her medical training, but nothing had brought that home as powerfully as Max’s injuries. Other residents of Oakwood Park who had suffered similar levels of brain damage had been affected in vastly different ways to Max, when it came to changes in their personalities, and amongst them were some of the kindest and sweetest souls Eve had ever met. That included Tasha, who presented Eve with a beautiful blanket she’d crocheted, almost every time Eve saw her. Tasha made the blankets for the babies delivered at St Piran’s who would never make it home and Eve knew just how much that small gesture had meant to some of the bereaved parents. Of course there were other residents who displayed far less positive behaviours and, deep down, Eve knew that Max’s behaviour only seemed extreme to her because she’d known and loved the old version of him with all of her heart. This new version wasn’t anywhere near as easy to love, especially when she was still grieving so hard forherMax, the way he used to be.
After reassuring him that she’d bought in the coffee pods he’d asked for, she hadn’t stayed long and had arrived at work forty-five minutes before the start of her shift.
‘Good, we’ve got time to go for a coffee before we start,’ Meg had said, having also been at work early, almost as if she was lying in wait for Eve to arrive. They’d gone to the Friends of St Piran’s Shop and almost as soon as Eve had sat down at one of the tables outside it, Gwen had bought over a huge piece of coffee and walnut cake.
‘I made it especially for you,’ she announced, setting it down on the table. ‘I guessed you wouldn’t have got much sleep last night and I also had a bet with myself that you’d turn up for your shift as usual, so I got up early and whipped it up before work. I figured you could use the caffeine to help you make it through until hometime.’
‘Will you be my mum?’ Eve had meant it as a joke, but the words suddenly caught in her throat and a sob escaped before she could stop it.
‘Hey, hey, hey.’ Gwen moved to sit in the chair next to Eve, opposite where Meg was already sitting, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. ‘Is this about the car accident or something else?’
‘It’s everything.’ Eve was still trying not to cry, but she didn’t seem able to stop.
‘Oh, Eve, you shouldn’t be here. This is all too much, I’ll give Danni a call and get her to arrange some cover.’ Meg was already pulling the phone out of her pocket when Eve surprised herself by shouting.
‘No!’ She shook her head, in case the word needed even more emphasis. ‘I don’t want to be at home on my own, thinking about all of this. I already feel like I’m suffocating and the last thing I need is to be indoors, alone, feeling like the four walls are closing in on me too.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Gwen still had an arm around her shoulders as she spoke and it felt comforting rather than weird.
‘I’m just tired, that’s all.’ Eve tried to smile but it went all wobbly. ‘You don’t want to listen to my problems. Even if I had a mum, she’d probably be fed up with hearing about them by now.’
‘I’m more than happy to be a stand-in mum for you, but I also make a great agony aunt, and all advice comes with an extra slice of cake.’
‘Gwen’s advice is legendary, and her cake is officially better than sex.’ Meg gave Eve a meaningful look, and Gwen’s eyes widened in surprise.
‘I do make great coffee cake, but Meg, my love, you’re doing sex all wrong if that’s your conclusion. I could always start withsome advice on how to change that, if Eve doesn’t want to talk about what’s on her mind.’
Gwen looked over the top of her glasses and Eve found herself smiling at their attempts to cheer her up, as Meg clasped her hand.
‘Please, Eve, save me from another sex talk. I’m still not over the one my mum gave me when I was ten and I realised that she and my dad had donethatat least twice!’
‘You’re opening up a whole can of worms there, my girl.’ Gwen shook her head and Meg squeezed Eve’s hand even tighter.
‘Eve, you’re my friend. Save me, please!’
‘Okay.’ Eve’s smiled deepened, her heart already feeling much lighter than it had before, and Meg sighed with relief.
