‘She’s with her in-laws.’ It was an innocent enough remark, but somehow it felt like a stab to the gut and he wanted to correct Aidan. He knew it was stupid and there’s no way he’d actually have done it, but he didn’t get the chance anyway, because Aidan wasn’t finished. ‘I didn’t even know she had a fiancé until Isla told me last week. She’s a dark horse our Eve, isn’t she? And so are you come to that!’
Felix opened his mouth to respond, but once again Aidan didn’t give him the chance. ‘Max’s mum was in a car accident and his dad is in a right state. I think he’d have lost it completely if Eve hadn’t been there.’
Felix shivered, suddenly experiencing an almost overwhelming sense of déjà vu that for a moment he couldn’t identify, but then it hit him. It was what Meredith’s father, Don, had said about losing her; that he’d have lost it completely if he hadn’t had Ashleigh and her babies giving him a reason to carry on. What would Nigel have if he lost Annie, after already going through so much with Max? Lily was thousands of miles away with no intention of coming home, and Eve had been the rock for everyone through all of that. But if Felix took her away, who would Nigel have to lean on?
‘Does Max know what’s happened?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Aidan furrowed his brow. ‘You know him quite well, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I’ve been working with him since I started here.’ Felix was surprised at just how much Eve had shared with her friends over the past few days, having decided to stop keeping secrets. But she could never have predicted what would happen to Annie and he couldn’t help wondering if she wished now that she’d kept quiet. ‘I need to talk to Eve and see if there’s anything I can do. If she wants me to speak to Max, or if he needs to come in and see his mum…’
Felix didn’t want to ask how bad things were, because part of him didn’t want to know. He couldn’t bear the thought that Max and his family might have to face even more trauma. He also knew there was only so much Aidan could say without breaking patient confidentiality and in truth he’d probably already overstepped the mark.
‘I’ll go and find her.’ Almost before the words were out of Aidan’s mouth, Eve came along the corridor, side by side with Nigel, who had his arm around her. They were both drained of colour, united in their love for Annie. They were a family, that much would have been apparent even if Felix hadn’t known anything about them. And he understood as well as anyone just how priceless family was in moments like this. He couldn’t be the one to take that away from Eve, not when it was the only family she had. It would put too far much pressure on their relationship, when he was in no position to offer her any of the same guarantees of support, or the shared history that her bond with Max’s family gave her.
‘I’m so sorry to hear what happened. How’s Annie?’ Felix kept his eyes fixed on Nigel, it was his only hope of fighting the desire to reach out and try to comfort Eve.
‘Her face is badly messed up and they’ve sent her for a scan. I’m just terrified that she might be—’ He shook his head andlooked towards Felix. ‘What if she’s got an injury like Max’s, or something even worse?’
‘It’s going to be okay.’ Eve turned towards him. ‘We’ve got to believe that.’
‘I’ve wanted to believe that things are going to be okay for the past two years. I kept trying to convince myself that Max would recover eventually, because Annie wouldn’t even consider another outcome, but I know now that he won’t. Not fully. I told myself that Lily would come home eventually, when she’d had enough space to think things through, but I don’t think that’s true either. Now I want more than anything to believe that Annie’s going to be okay, but even if there’s no lasting damage from the accident, I know she’s changed forever. The Court of Appeal have upheld Brandon Moorcroft’s sentence and I’m scared that all the fight that was keeping Annie going will have disappeared, and that she’s going to want to give up on life. You know how low she got when Lily left and I think the outcome from the court was one blow too many. She just can’t take any more.’
‘We can get her through this. We’ve got through everything else together these past two years and I promise you I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get Annie well again.’ Eve said wrapping her arms around Nigel. The realisation hit Felix that Max’s family were her priority, exactly as they should be right now, and he liked her far too much to add to her burden by making her feel even a moment’s guilt for choosing them over him. He was going to back off and give her all the space she needed for as long as it took, even if that cost them the chance to see where things might have gone between them. He’d had to walk away from Meredith in order to save himself, but he couldn’t put himself first again and risk Eve losing the family she loved, because even if she could forgive him for that, he’d never be able to forgive himself.
20
The scans revealed that Annie hadn’t suffered a head injury, news that made both Eve and Nigel weak with relief. She had some deep lacerations to her face, extensive bruising and swelling, as well as a broken nose and fractured jaw.
‘Will they be able to make her look like she did before?’ Nigel’s eyes searched Eve’s face as he waited for her answer and she knew she couldn’t lie to him, because he’d be able to see the truth in her expression.
‘They’re going to realign the bones and use small metal plates to stabilise the fractures in her jaw while they are healing, which will probably remain there permanently. They’ll repair the deeper laceration and, once the swelling has gone down, we should get a far clearer picture, but it will be a long time before Annie looks like herself again.’
That was as close to honest as Eve was prepared to go. She had no way of knowing just how long-lasting the impact of her injuries would be. Annie was having an open reduction and internal fixation surgery and whilst it was undoubtedly the best option for her, there was no guarantee that it would restore her face to exactly the same shape it had been before. Some patientscould suffer permanent changes in appearance and if Annie got an infection after the operation that could be catastrophic to the chances of recovering her previous appearance. Nigel didn’t need to hear that when he was already terrified, so Eve didn’t mention any of those possibilities; reinforcing the positives instead.
‘The main thing is that she’s stable and there are no life-threatening concerns. All of Annie’s injuries are fixable.’
‘I know and I’m incredibly grateful to whoever or whatever it was that answered my prayers.’ Nigel pressed his hands together, as if he was going to start praying again. ‘But I know the first thing she’s going to want to do when she’s well enough is to see Max and you know what he’s like… He’s not going to hold back.’
‘I know.’ Eve put a hand on Nigel’s shoulder. ‘But let’s not worry about that for now.’
‘Okay.’ He placed his hand on top of hers. ‘Thanks, Evie. I don’t know what I would have done without you. I don’t know what any of us would have done without you these past couple of years.’
‘I don’t know what I would have done without all of you either.’ When losing Annie had seemed like a possibility, and no one had known the true extent of her injuries, Eve had been every bit as terrified as Nigel. Annie was the closest thing she had to a mother and the thought of losing her had been devastating. It had brought home once more, just how much Max’s family meant to her and suddenly her decision to tell Annie and Nigel about Felix didn’t seem nearly so clear.
There’d been other difficult decisions to make in the wake of Annie’s accident. Nigel had wanted to call Lily and let her know what had happened, but Eve’s first thought had been how news like that might affect Lily’s pregnancy. She was in the early stages and, even though Eve knew it was rare for shock to triggera miscarriage, it suddenly felt like a risk they didn’t need to take. In any case, the journey back to the UK in a state of heightened anxiety wouldn’t be good for her or the baby. She’d figured it would be much better if they waited until they could tell Lily that her mum was going to be okay, but if she didn’t tell Nigel that his daughter was pregnant, he’d never understand why Eve wanted to hold off. So she’d decided to break the news to him that Lily was expecting a baby and he’d wept like a newborn, a mixture of joy, sadness and fear all rolled into one.
‘I just hope all of this isn’t for nothing,’ he’d said eventually, when he’d finally managed to regain some composure. ‘I hope to God that this accident makes Annie realise that she can’t spend any more time fighting against things she can’t change and that she can find a way to enjoy all the things we have still got and look forward to all the good things that are still to come.’
‘Me too.’ Eve had never agreed with a sentiment more, but she had no idea if Annie’s accident would be a catalyst for some kind of positive change, or if it would entrench her even further into the bitterness she’d been stuck in since Max’s assault. Only time would tell.
Now, as Eve sat by Annie’s bedside, having ordered Nigel to go home and get some rest, she was still waiting and watching for signs that she was coming round from the surgery and that they could all start to work towards a brighter future.
‘How’s she doing?’ Eve jumped at the sound of Felix’s voice, having not seen him come into the ward.
‘She’s still pretty much out of it, but the operation went well.’ Eve smiled, feeling touched that he’d made the effort to come up and check on Annie.
‘And how about you, how are you coping with it all?’ He was asking the right things, but there was an awkwardness about him, a sort of over-the-top formality, that was so at odds with the way he’d always acted around her before. Maybe it was becausehe’d offered to go and speak to Max about what had happened and Nigel had insisted that it should be ‘one of the family’. Felix hadn’t seemed in the least bit offended, but perhaps it had been a reminder of her bond with Max’s family and Eve had to admit that she might have found it hard to know how to navigate the situation if their roles had been reversed. She was probably just reading too much into something that wasn’t really anything. Exhaustion and stress were triggers for that kind of thing, after all.
