“Are we talking about the same girl? She’s had a squishy nose ever since a girl in high school headbutted her; I’ve got a photo of her somewhere with bruises around her eyes and a shapeless potato in the middle of her face. I’ll show you some time.”
Lois sniffs, meeting my gaze in the mirror. “Really?”
“I even have a photo of her with puke in her hair. It’s at the back of a closet somewhere. Would it make you feel better to see it sometime?”
She rubs her eyes. “No, it’s okay.”
Not sure why, but I’m trying to coax a smile out of her. There’s still some way to go. She spends the next minute staring at herself in the mirror with her shoulders shaking, and just when it looks like she’s evened out, a fresh wave of tears come streaming down her cheeks.Shit!
I sigh and crouch beside her. “Lois.”
“Not now, Lane. Please. Save it for tomorrow.”
“I wasn’t going to tease you!”
“Sure you weren’t.”
“If it’s any comfort, Juliet has more of a one-night-only approach to relationships.”
“So what?” She sniffles, clamping her eyes shut. “What hurts is that I can’t kid myself anymore. She’s everything Kirk ever wanted, everything he said I wasn’t…”
I frown. “Meaning?”
“He said…”
She bites her lip, fiddles with her sleeve, like the words are too painful to say. I don’t know what comes over me, but I drop drown to sit behind her, propping my legs on either side of hers.
“Come on, Heartbreak. Spill.”
I rest an elbow on my knee and tilt my head for a better view of her in the mirror.
“I know you think I’m so lame right now—”
“Which means you have nothing to lose by carrying on.” I give her a gentle nudge. “You can only go up in my estimation.”
“He said there was too much new stuff to try at college, and he didn’t want to have any regrets. He thought I was too boring, too predictable, not skinny enough, and—”
“Are you for real? ‘Not skinny enough’?”
“He didn’t say it like that, exactly. But I put on a little weight over the past few months, and according to him, I was letting myself go…”
“Kirk is an absolute jerk.” I spit the last word out. “See? It evenrhymes. Even just his name is enough to make you barf.Kiiiirk.” I say it over and over, making it sound like I’m puking, and her eyes widen through the tears. Suddenly, she bursts out giggling, and I practically jump out of my skin. I realize this is the first time I’ve heard her laugh, and she must be thinking the same, because she stops as soon as she started.
“My brother Jeff said the exact same thing last year. He’ll be happy to hear I’ve been dumped, at least.”
It’s the first time she’s mentioned her family, and though I’m curious to hear more, I don’t ask. I don’t want her to throw the question back at me. That’s off-limits.
“It looks like he’s moved on,” I try. “That might help you do the same, don’t you think? What ifyoumade the most of all the new stuff college has to offer, too?”
She lets out a raspy groan, something between a laugh and a growl.
“I miss him. I don’t know who I am without Kirk.” She stares at the ground. “We grew up together, I built everything I was around us, and now I’m lost. I want my life back.”
A veil of shame clouds her eyes, and I realize she’s just voiced a truth that’s hard to swallow. It takes everything I have not to tell her what I really think—which is that this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m way out of my comfort zone here. In fact, I’m probably the worst person for this situation.
“You’ll be back on your feet in no time. You just started college; you’re in your prime!”
Look at you, Mr. Guru!
