I’m still lying on my back, my legs propped up at the corner couch. My breathing is still heavy from my laughing fit and from... he’s moved a little closer, hasn’t he?
Our eyes meet. He seems uncertain, no—he seems indecisive. There’s a vulnerability in his eyes that I’ve never seen on him before. He is the stronger one of the two of us,the one who always knows what to do, even though I am older.
Very slowly, his hand moves in my direction grabbing the hem of my T-shirt. I hold my breath. What is he doing? His gaze holds mine as he leans down. Just before he touches me, he closes his eyes and my hand reaches into his curls instinctively. All the tension leaves Louis’s body with one deep sigh.
His lips are soft and slightly parted as he kisses my hipbone. Fuck, that feels good. I don’t want him to ever stop, but he lets his head fall into my lap and takes a deep breath in and out. My fingers are still playing with his curls, and the deep brown of his eyes sucks me in.
“David? There’s something between us, right? I’m not the only one feeling it.” His voice is soft, his tone almost desperate, pleading. When I shake my head silently, he looks up fearfully.
“No, you’re not the only one.”
“Have you felt like this before? For another guy?” His question is hesitant, as if he’s not sure he’s allowed to ask it at all.
“Yes.” Holy shit I said it. “Girls never did it for me. I tried to like them, I really did, but I gave up at some point.” I’ve never been as honest about my sexuality as I am right now. For the first time, I’ve said out loud what I’ve known for so long. And not only that, I’ve said it to a boy who has been turning my head for weeks like no one else before him. “And you?”
“Same.” He slowly sits up, my hand slides out of his hair, his gaze moves up and down my body. “You drive me crazy, David. So much. I want to touch you, I want to kiss you, I want...”
“Okay.” I want that too. Apart from a little Truth or Dare, I’ve never kissed anyone, let alone someone I had feelings for,someone I really wanted to kiss.
“Okay?”
I nod quickly and sit up too. I would’ve never dared to make the first move, but now we are only a few inches apart, my heart is beating in my throat, the tip of my tongue wanders over my lips of its own accord, and then he closes the distance. I sink into the dark brown of his eyes, not looking away until we both close them at the last moment.
And then I feel them, his lips on mine, full, soft. My eyes press shut, and fireworks explode inside me. Everything tingles, everything is hot, my heart is racing, my hands twitch, I want to touch him. Without waiting for my brain to respond, my subconscious takes over and places a palm on his cheek.
I lose myself in the feeling of kissing Louis, of touching him, so much so that I flinch when I feel the tip of his tongue on my upper lip. I hold him close and nudge his tongue with mine. His mouth twists into a grin, I can feel it.
With both hands on my chest, he pushes me away. Everything happens so fast that I don’t even understand what’s happening at all, but the next second I’m lying on my back, Louis is on top of me, his lips on mine, his tongue searching its way into my mouth, and I let myself fall, surrender to him, knowing with a certainty that should scare me, that I belong to him. Forever.
Chapter 9
David
17 years
“Are you free after school?” Finn looks at me intently.
“I have to study for this English test before practice.” That's a lie; I want to meet up with Louis, but no one can know that. Though I have to admit that I feel really bad about lying to my best friend.
"Please, just half an hour. I can come to your place right after school so you can get started as soon as I leave.” It must be important, otherwise he wouldn’t be so persistent.
“Okay, fine. But not for long.”
“What’s up?” I ask when we get to my house.
“What’s going on between you and Louis?” My heart sinks. Why the fuck is he asking?
“What do you mean?" I try to sound light, but I’m not really pulling it off.
“Just what I said. You’re gazing longingly at each other across the auditorium. If we were in a comic book, hearts would be flying back and forth between you two.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
"Don’t lie to me. We’ve never lied to each other; we’re not going to start now over something like this. You’re my best friend.”
Ashamed, I look down at my body and pluck lint from my sweater.
“Are you crushing on Louis?”
