Philipp
"So, are you nervous?" Adrien grabs my waist from behind and pulls me towards him.
"Not yet. Probably kicks in before we go on stage. But from what I've seen so far, the others are no big competition. Top 3 should definitely be possible."
"Pretty confident."
"I know what we can do." I raise my eyebrows challengingly.
Adrien laughs and spins me around in one swift motion so we're face to face. "Give 'em hell, baby!" His lips find mine and I can't resist taking a bite of one of his snakebites. I love playing with them, with my tongue or my teeth, it doesn't matter. My parents reacted a little cautiously when I brought Adrien home for the first time. But the initial shock was quickly forgotten when they got to know him. His calm and reserved nature resonated particularly well with my mother. They are so alike. Maybe that's why I was immediately attracted to Adrien, maybe that's why I felt so safe with him so fast. I didn't really realize how similar they were until I saw them together.
"That was so good! The way we delivered on that stage today – we’re fucking invincible today!” We're all sweaty from dancing under the spotlight. It's always hot on stage but even more with all the adrenaline and endorphins flowing through our bodies. The crowd in the hall went wild when we were dancing, which is always a good sign. There'll be one other crew on stage after us, but we should have this thing in the bag.
While the jury is evaluating and making their decision, a local band that Nika and I want to see is playing. Adrien and Élias have good spots, we just have to get through to them somehow. Nika is already quite ahead of me when someone gets in my way.
"Ah, there's my little celebrity! Nice to see you." As if nothing had ever happened between us, he takes me in his arms and kisses me. My heart, my mind and everything inside me is screamingNo!but my body refuses to move. "You look good. I have to admit, this sports thing is good for you. Very hot." I'm still wearing my stage outfit, which includes a skin-tight tanktop. He strokes his index finger from my pecs to my waistband and I feel sick. I flinch back in a flash and am grateful that my body is cooperating again.
"Don't be like that. We both know what you really want."
"You never knew what I wanted. You never cared what I wanted." My words surprise me.
"We both know that's not true. You've always gotten what you deserved." His arm is over my shoulder with a firm grip. I try to pull away, but he holds me too tightly.
"Let go of me. I don't want this." I try to put strength behind my voice, but I don't really succeed.
His face brightens, a smile flits across his lips. A nasty smile. "So unruly. I like that. We're going to have a lot of fun together."
"No." I'm still struggling against his grip.
In one swift movement, he lets go of my shoulder and grabs my neck and chin.No, please don't."Listen to me carefully. I've seen you online with that girl. You're good. You have a lot of followers. I'll give you a second chance, I'll take you back. Our break-up was just a stupid skip. We both know we're made for each other."
Everything inside me is screaming. I don't want him, never again, not even to see him, and still my body won't cooperate. I feel trapped, but I'm fighting. I don't want this.
"No." My voice still isn't as loud and firm as I'd like it to be, but it doesn't matter.
"What do you mean, no?" There's that smug, superior tone in his voice and I suddenly feel tiny again. I have to stand strong, not let him get me down.
"No. I don't want to be with you anymore. Breaking-up with you was the best decision of my life."
"Then you'd rather be alone for the rest of your miserable existence?" Now his true colors are slowly coming through.
"Yes, I would, but..." My voice leaves me. Very bad timing.
Suddenly the crowd around us is moving. A push and a shove. Adrien is so tall, I can see immediately that he's on his way to me. Nika ahead of him. "I'm not alone."
He laughs. I hate that laugh so much.
"Is there a problem?" Nika's tone is clear and demanding. No bullshit.
I just point with my thumb to my ex. "No problem. He was just leaving."
"Are these your friends? Don't you want to introduce us? We'll run into each other more often from now on." How narcissistic can someone actually be? Didn't I just tell him that I don't want anything anymore from him?
Adrien doesn't understand a word, as we speak German, but he notices the tension and my defensive posture. He calmly but demonstratively puts his arm around my shoulder and gives me a kiss on the temple. Completely automatically, I close my eyes briefly and enjoy the moment with a quick smile. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't prevent the reaction. Not with Adrien.
The change in my ex-boyfriend's demeanor is abrupt. It's like a switch has been flipped. "Are you serious? You've taken up with someone new? You're cheating on me? I always knew you were a little whore. How long has this been going on between you? He's still new, isn't he? He hasn't realized yet that you'rea useless piece of shit, right? Except for fucking, of course. But he’ll realize pretty fast that you're nothing more than a pretty hole." His thumb strokes my mouth and a mixture of disgust and fear runs through my body. "And then he'll use you the way you deserve. Maybe he already knows what a pathetic piece of shit you are. I had no idea you were into tattoos and piercings. Didn't think the bad boy style was your thing."
Tears run down my face. His words are not new, but they still hurt. He's not right. Is he? Adrien doesn't use me. Adrien fought for me, he's good to me, respectful. Adrien demands to tell him what I want. My ex isn't right. He's not right.
