Élias shakes his head. "You don't know our story, but Nika and I have gone through hell to be where we are now. We waited a year for each other without seeing or hearing each other once. She could have left me any time, but she stayed. I'm not afraid for our relationship."
I admire Élias for his determination, but he probably has to have it to be with a girl like her. She could have anyone.
The music comes to an end. Philipp and Nika stand close to each other, their feet touching. They stroke each other's cheekswith their right index finger, as if tracing the path of a tear, dropping their hands on the last notes. Nika's head falls onto her chest, Philipp's in his neck and although they are standing so close, there is suddenly an insurmountable distance between them as the music fades out. The love story is over, they didn't make it.
I can feel a real tear running down my cheek... fuck.
The music stops and Nika and Philipp hug each other, beaming. I gently nudge Élias with my shoulder. "What's the name of the song?"
"’Bluebird’ by Luca Fogale."
“Bluebird...”
Chapter 9
Philipp
The music stops and Nika and I fall into each other's arms, completely thrilled. That was absolutely amazing. I found the song by chance a few days ago and sent it to Nika. We immediately agreed that we had to try it out. It's really rare that the first attempt is so damn perfect.
Still hugging and still laughing, we turn to the door and.... Oh fuck!
Shit. Out of reflex, I turn around to run in the other direction, only to realize after two steps this is complete bullshit because my bag is next to the door. Where Adrien is standing. Fuck.
"Hey! How long have you been standing there?" Nika addresses the words to her boyfriend, but Adrien answers.
"We came in just after you started." His voice is raspy and he doesn't look at Nika as he speaks. He is looking at me, searching my gaze.
Oh my God, what does he think of me now? I'm not really a feminine man, at least that's not how I see myself. But dancing, Ballet or Modern in particular, has… that air around it… Men don't do that. Not real men, especially not straight men.
I'm not straight, so this shoe fits for me, but I just don't know if it bothers Adrien, if he finds it as repulsive as my ex did.
"ARE YOU A CHICK NOW OR WHAT? YOU SPEND THE WHOLE SATURDAY AWAY FOR THAT GIRL SHIT AND WE DON'T SEE EACH OTHER? NOBODY WANTS TO SEE MEN LIKE THIS! BE A MAN AND NOT A PUSSY!"
And those were his words about HipHop. After that, I no longer dared to even look at my dancing tights...
"How did you like it?" Thank God Nika can speak. I'm completely lost right now.
"That was absolutely insane. I...uhh" Adrien's cheeks flame up red and he turns away quickly.
"We couldn't look away, that’s what he wants to say! That was awesome! Your first run-through for the song?" Nika nods in affirmation as she takes big gulps from her water bottle. I'm still standing rooted to the spot, staring at Adrien. Hardly embarrassing or anything. Why can’t I be at least a bit cool?
But he is no different. His gaze holds me captive. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't look away. Adrien has seen me dancing. Not HipHop, what everyone likes, but Modern, what I like.
"DANCING IS GAY."
But Adrien liked it. He said so himself. He meant it that way, didn't he? Maybe he is...
"Are you coming?" Nika snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Where to?"
"We're going out for a bite to eat, wherever you like."
Adrien looks at me expectantly. I had actually planned to spend my Friday evening alone on the sofa. "I would be happy if – we would be happy if you came with us."
***
Half an hour later, we're sitting in my favorite pizza place. It’s actually really nice. We talk about normal things. Our majors, the next gigs, the menu.
