I have never missed a Blaze game. Even the preseason scrimmages were something that I attended. Even the very first home game, where it was anything but pretty, I managed to stay through the whole game.
Tonight, I just can’t bring myself to go.
So, I don’t.
Instead, I’m sitting in my apartment, staring out the window. You can’t see the stadium from here, but I’m pretending like I could possibly see it. That I could know that everything is going to be okay over there, even if I’m not there.
The game will go on just fine. The outcome is not as important as the experience. It’s not a game that we’re tacking against our record and it won’t have a bearing in playoffs. But we’re playing it nonetheless so that we can get some practice under a higher-pressure team.
It’s always interesting when the Blaze plays the Pride because it’s like some state rivalry that the fans cooked up when they didn’t think we needed another team in Tampa. Dear old Dad saw it differently and created one. The fans ended up embracingus and have been supportive of two NWSL teams in Florida. Normally, that is not done. There are other states that do not have teams, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He wanted all of his teams in Tampa.
I never understood why because it’s not like he grew up here. Maxwell Cromwell hails from upstate New York. That is where he was born and raised. On a trip down here with business associates and their wives, he fell in love with Tampa. He wanted to settle in here and make a life for himself. His wife, my mother, did not want to leave New York. She saw them moving into the city, living on the Upper East Side and making a life there, full of glitz and glam. Being a socialite in New York was important to her. But not to my father.
He tried to make her happy for a while, but that didn’t work. He couldn’t because she said she wasn’t cut out for the humidity of Tampa. That this life wasn’t for her. It was too hard watching him attempt to build something from the ground up in Tampa. In New York, she felt that it would be easier. It didn’t matter that she had two small boys, she went back to New York without us. And Maxwell, being Maxwell, just let her go. Let her leave him, Drew and me. I was a child so I couldn’t reason with him back then. And maybe I wouldn’t have. I have no memories of what kind of a mother she was. I just know that know she’s someone that I have no desire to look up or connect with. This made my father very happy when he figured it out because separation from our mother is what he had always wanted. And let’s face it, Maxwell always gets what he wants.
He sure is gunning for that with this WNBA team and me leaving the Blaze. Even if I try like hell to remain here, it might not work. I might end up leaving the girls, the team that I am so proud of, for a fresh start. I sigh, tilting the tumbler of Scotch so that the liquid slides around inside. I stare at it for a bit, hating myself for not going to the game. But also knowing it wasprobably the right thing to do. Giving Hendrix, the team and me some space and time to think things through.
Not all owners go to all the games. Hell, not all owners travel with their teams for away matches. I am just taking a night off from things. Part of me worried that my father would be there in the box. Not that he’s been there since the first few games. But this might be one of those times where he digs in and shows up. Just to see if he can rattle me.
My phone beeps with a text and I sigh. I figured that someone would be texting to ask me where I was. I instructed security to make sure that Danny and any other guests that were with him were able to get into the owner’s box. No reason for them to not watch the game the way they are used to.
I spin it and see that it’s Danny texting me.
Danny: Hey, man, where are you at? The game is about to start.
I shake my head.Yep, and it’s going to start without me, I think to myself. But I don’t text that.
August: Yeah, I know. I’m not going to make it tonight. You guys have fun and enjoy the suite.
The response comes immediately.
Danny: What’s going on, man? Are you okay? You never miss a Blaze game. You feeling okay?
That’s a loaded question. I’m not sure if I am feeling okay, considering everything that is going on with my father and nowHendrix going radio silent on me. No amount of texts or phones calls would make her pick up.
August: I’m just hanging out at my place tonight. The game will go on just fine if I’m not there. I’ll see you all another night. Go Blaze!
I put the phone down and shake my head. That response is a cop-out and Danny is going to see right through it. I expect that he’ll call me on it when he does.
My phone beeps, giving me the answer.
Danny: Man, what’s going on? The game will surely go on just fine, but you never miss a game. Get over your bullshit and get over here.
August: Nah, I’m alright here. Everyone enjoy the game.
I flip my phone over on the table so that I can’t see the notifications showing up. It pings again and I sigh. He’s not going to let this go.
Danny: Okay, well, I’m going to send you score updates because I know that you’ll want to know.
I grin. At least he’s not going to push things right now. I’m sure later I’ll have a lot of explaining to do. That is, if Hendrix doesn’t tell them all about the other night and the way my father spoke to her. How I didn’t react the best to what had happened. How she went home feeling like she was “the help” and the nightturned out just the way she thought it would. And that I was wrong for inviting her to go in the first place.
August: I appreciate that, Danny. Enjoy the game.
I hope that it ends the conversation until he has some updates for me on how the girls are doing. I’m not sure it’ll be a win for us, but it’ll be a good test that gets us ready for the playoffs.
I get updates from Danny throughout the game. The girls are holding their own. It’s tied at one apiece.
My phone rings at what I figure is the half mark. I look down and see that it’s Dex.
