I look around and am relieved to see that the other goalies are on their way, so I don’t have much longer to have this conversation with him.
“He said you’re not talking to him. He can’t fix it if you don’t talk to him,” he reminds me.
“Yeah, I know that. But the time to fix it would have been at the gala in front of his father and brother,” I point out.
He sighs heavily. “It might have been, but I’ve been there when his father treats him like a little boy. There’s not too much that he can do. And publicly, that might not have gone well. I’m just asking for you to cut him some slack.”
I nod. “Noted. Can we warm me up now?”
“Hendrix, I’m sorry, I’m not trying to come across as all pro-August, but I’ve never seen him like this over a girl before.”
I nod. “Thanks for letting me know.”
He nods in return. “Are you going to be okay to play in today’s game?”
“Yeah, the distraction will be great for me,” I say, shrugging. “And I get it. You’re just sticking up for August. I know you have my back too.”
Jase pats me on the shoulder. “I do. I’m sorry that I came across as not.”
“It’s okay, I get it. Bros before the help,” I say snidely.
“You are not the help,” he says quickly. “And I can’t believe that prick called you that. I could punch him in the mouth the next time I see him.”
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. That will earn you one trip back across the pond and one of my best friends will forever be enraged,” I warn him.
He shakes his head, laughing. “I wouldn’t leave her.”
I nod because I know he’s right. He’s a good man that way. Technically, August is a good man too because he hasn’t left me. He’s reaching out and trying; I just don’t want to hear it. I just wish that I wouldn’t have had to stick up for myself. I wish he would have done it for me. But, alas, that’s not what happened.
“Okay, focus time!” Jase says, clapping his hands together, signaling the start of our warm-up session.
It’s honestly just what I needed. Time to punt some balls down the field as hard as I can. Time to throw myself in front of a ball that has been rocketed at the goal. That will help me get all of this off my mind.
Soccer, I can handle.
Diving in front of a goal and saving a rocket that was shot at me, I can handle.
Feelings and emotions are something that I don’t enjoy dealing with. I like to keep things less complicated and more black and white. That makes situations like this completely and totally avoidable. And my head so much clearer and game day ready than it is right now.
“You can do this, Hendrix. Just relax and focus on the game,” Jase says quietly to me as we make our way to the sideline. It’s almost time for the game.
Coach Watts will soon be giving us our pep talk. The walk-up music will play, and we will enter the stadium to the roar of the crowd. Attendance will be up since the game is sort of local for the Orlando Pride. The anthem will play and I will defend the goal for ninety minutes.
It’ll be a beautiful ninety minutes because I won’t have to think about August and wonder if he’s going to be coming to see me in the locker room. Or if I’ll see him at the bar later.
I can focus and take my mind off of that prick. How much I hate the way he acted, but also how happy I was that he invited me. It’s a paradox of emotions, and I have to decide what I would like to do about him—avoid him forever or have the adult conversation and see where we go from here.
Fuck, matters of the heart are super complicated.
Playing soccer seems like a walk in the park compared to this bullshit. Especially when you chose to love August Cromwell and deal with this ridiculously controlling family. What a mistake that seems to have been.
Chapter Thirty-Two
~AUGUST~
Idon’t go to the game.
It’s happening tonight and I’m not there.
