The past few days have been pure hell for me. After Halloween night, my head has been a mess. I fucked up. I did something I shouldn’t have. Something I didn’t have the right to do.
When Bennett didn’t come back to the dorm the first few days, I started to panic. All I could think about was him hating me, spilling my secrets, or even worse, making a joke of me.
That was the first time I’ve ever had sex, and it was in a moment of jealousy and anger, mixed with a fuck ton of alcohol.
While I don’t regret being with Bennett, I do regret how it happened. It was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have done it. It doesn’t matter that he liked it or if I got off on it. The fact is, it shouldn’t have happened that way. Or at all.
“Aria, let’s go grab something to eat and give these two a moment alone.”
Aria blinks, lips parted in shock like she’s not sure what to say. She looks at Bennett, at me, then Taylor. “Ah, okay...”
She slides off the bed and fixes her shirt. “We’ll talk later?” Aria’s eyes are swimming in tears.
I feel bad for her. This is all new for her too, and to come out to her best friend like this was probably not in the cards.
“Of course." Bennett steps forward. “Ah, Ari, don’t cry.”
He pulls her into his arms and gives her a tight hug. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
He pulls back and cups her face. “You’re my best friend, my person, I'd never be able to hate you, okay? I love you. And I’m here for you, okay?”
She smiles softly. “I love you.” She gives him another hug before stepping back and taking Taylor’s hand.
Taylor stops next to me as they leave. “You okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head. “Are you okay?”
She looks back at Bennett, then me. “Yeah. I’ll be okay.”
“Love you.”
“Love you.”
The two of them take off, leaving Bennett and me alone.
Bennett goes over to Aria’s bed and sits down, letting out a heavy sigh as he runs a hand over his head. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
Neither do I. There’s so much to say, and I don’t know how to put it into words.
“I’m sorry about the other night,” I mutter, sitting next to him on the bed. I can’t bring myself to look him in the eyes, but my body is hyperaware of the fact that he’s next to me.
“So am I,” he murmurs.
We sit in awkward silence for a long while. My head is a mess, I want to say so many things, but decide to start from the beginning.
“I shouldn’t have punched you in the face.”
“Huh?” he asks, sounding confused. “You didn’t.”
“I mean, when we were kids.” I swallow hard.
“Oh,” he whispers.
“How I reacted, it was a mistake. It was wrong.”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you. I had no right to put you in that position.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” My heart and head are a mess. My whole damn body is vibrating with pent-up energy. “I’m... I... Fuck.” I blow out a breath, scrubbing my hand over my face. “I liked it. When you kissed me.”
