“Great, neither have I,” he said. “Hurry your ass and I’ll order something we can pick up. You can eat and then tell me to fuck off or I can fuck?—”
I slammed the door in his face. If I let him finish that sentence, I might have taken him up on that offer. Until I knew what him and Jude were, well, the fucking kolache shop was closed.
9
jude
In my head, I always pictured Sam and I finally baring ourselves to each other after maybe one of his hockey games or a particularly long stay away from each other. One dream was he would pick me up from the airport and he would give me one of those big hugs—god, I missed those—he would say that he hated the distance and that he couldn’t do it anymore.
Then he would say he had feelings for me and that he loved me, while chewing his bottom lip, like he did when he got nervous or was concentrating hard on something. I would say I had loved him since college and we would say we never wanted to be apart. That's where my dream ended and where it stayed, in my head.
Maybe in another lifetime we might have been together, but seeing how Sam and Forest looked at each other made me realize I would always be the side character in my own story. I still couldn’t believe they had fucked each other. I really shouldn’t have been surprised. Sam could sniff out a single person in a small town like a bloodhound, but why did he have to have slept with the first guy I liked in a while?
Why couldn’t I be like Sam and Forest and just ask for what I wanted.
“Malone, let’s move.” I nodded, turning on the fire truck.
We had just responded to a grease fire at a small restaurant that was off the highway to Monroe. Thankfully, the employees were smart and quick about it and when we got here it was almost contained. It could have been a whole lot worse.
I pulled the truck out onto the highway. The drive back to Sterling Ridge was awful because all I did was obsess over Forest and Sam. It was ridiculous how much my mind wandered to them. It was embarrassing.
After getting back to the station, the shift change was about to happen and while I was grateful to go home, I also hated being alone. Being alone made my thoughts wander and that was dangerous. I stayed and chatted with the night crew for a moment before my chief asked me to stay the night because I was lingering.
I hopped into my truck to go to Mabel’s for dinner when I checked my phone and saw a few texts from Theo from two hours ago.
Theo: Hey, I know you're working, but I need a favor.
Theo: Wolves made it down to the herd. We lost a calf and a heifer.
Theo: We want to move the herd east and I need someone to watch them for a few hours tonight. We are all taking shifts to make sure we don’t have any wolves following the herd.
Theo: I know you're working and if you're too tired I understand.
Theo: Actually, forget I sent those texts. Nova reminded me you've been working too hard and you need all the rest you can get. Do not come.
Theo: Love you.
I reread his messages debating if I should go. It would definitely fill my time, but I might see Forest and I was dodging him at the moment. He wouldn’t say anything if we were in front of my brother and Colt, but if I saw Forest, I don’t know how I would feel.
Typing out a message quickly, I stared at the words, but ended up deleting them. I’d rather just show up, and not give anyone a heads up. I could help for a few hours and then go home, hopefully exhausted enough to pass out. The sun was setting as I pulled up to Theo’s old house before I called him.
“Hey,” he answered, sounding a little out of breath.
“Where are you?” I asked, getting out of the truck, bringing my water bottle and a small bag of snacks I had brought from work.
“Go home, Jude, we got it,” he said, as I heard the cows mooing.
“I’m here already,” I said, walking into the barn to get Flynn saddled up.
“Jude,” he sighed.
“I’ll just come looking for you,” I said, putting the phone on speaker. “It will be a whole lot easier if you just tell me where you are at.”
“Head south from the barn for about fifteen minutes and then start to head west. You should see us after about ten minutes.”
“Great, I'll see you soon!” I hung up before he could say anything.
I gave Flynn a few treats and a little bit of love before riding out. The sun was just on the horizon as I finally caught up with Theo.
