“Anyone needs to talk, my office is always open,” Captain said, walking through the room.
We all murmured thanks. No one followed the Captain, but it was comforting that we knew he was there for us. Bailey came into the room and sat next to me, leaning against me. She only did this when something really bothered her. It was gut-wrenching to know that a family was hurt in the accident, and I knew she was taking it hard. One by one people left the room until it was just Bailey and me.
“Some days I don’t know if I’m cut out for this job anymore,” Bailey sighed. “That was heartbreaking.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said, putting my arm around her, squeezing her.
“I wished I had someone to go home to.” Her voice cracked. “To ease the burden, to make me forget and make me feel like myself again.”
“You will, Bailey,” I said, leaning over to kiss her head. I pulled her closer to lean on my chest as I squeezed her tightly again, wishing I could take her sadness away.
We sat in silence for a while until she pushed off my chest, wiping her face.
“I’m sorry, I’m keeping you from your men,” she said, trying to smile.
I shrugged, not knowing what to say. Sam and I had spoken, but I didn’t know where we stood without Forest. Could we survive without him?
“What’s that look for?” Bailey asked, as we both got up.
“Nothing,” I said, stretching my shoulder.
“You’ve been quiet, what happened? Is everything ok?” She followed me out of the living room and up the stairs to our beds.
“Things are ok.” I tried to be vague, not trying to catch myself in a lie.
“That sounds like a BS answer,” she said, getting in front of me. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “Things were great one minute and then the next Sam got an offer to play for Toronto and that sparked Forest to say he was leaving, and it all ended in a fight.”
“What do you mean that sparked Forest to say he was leaving? Was he not leaving before?” She pushed me to sit on my bunk.
“I don’t know.” I put my head into my hands. “He went off on a tangent that Webber and I could finally be together. Bailey, it was like we were this pressure cooker of problems and the day after Christmas, we exploded. I thought we were fine.”
“That’s usually how it is, everything is fine one minute and BAM.” Bailey smacked her hands. “Everything crumbles, but are you really that surprised that Forest is leaving?”
“No, but I thought?—”
“That’s your problem right there, you assumed and you should have had a talk,” she said, grabbing my hand. “Go talk to him, tell him how you feel.”
“I didn’t tell him how I felt because I was afraid he would freak out and leave us,” I exhaled.
“Then, Darling, that's his problem not yours,” she said softly. “No amount of time will make a man love you. If he doesn’t think you're worth it, he won’t put in the time and effort.”
“I think that's what hurts the most,” I huffed. “I spent all this time falling for a man who never thought to give Webber and me a chance. We always had an expiration date.”
“I’m sorry, babe,” she said, throwing her arm around me. “Sometimes the men we want the most are always the ones that are unattainable. I hope he realizes what he is missing out onand I hope that one day he realizes what an absolute ass he is for letting you guys go.”
“I don’t know if he ever will, Forest is running away from something and I don’t think he will ever outrun it,” I sighed. “It’s like he has to have an expiration date everywhere he goes to protect himself, but from what, I don’t know, maybe an old girl- friend?”
“Or maybe he’s just a whore and likes a different man in every city,” Bailey said, with contempt in her voice. “Honestly, men do things for the weirdest reasons and sometimes it's for the most extra reasons.”
I raised my brow at her.
“No offense.” She shrugged, but she didn’t look apologetic. “What? Men say we are emotional, but I swear you are so emotionally inept that if y’all just let yourself feel for a moment and be ok with it, it would solve a lot of problems. Well, for most of you.”
“Toxic masculinity at its finest,” I murmured.
“Yup, you need a drink and so do I,” Bailey said standing up, holding her hand out to me. “Let’s get some food and a beer at the Boozy Bandit. You deserve it.”
