“Bailey, I don’t—” She gave me a look that said get my shit together because I wasn’t getting out of this. “Ok, drink and food it is.”
Three beers, two shots, a burger and fries later, Bailey, Iris and I sat nursing our fourth beer. We got to the Boozy Bandit and Iris immediately knew something was wrong. She told the manager,Joe, that she wanted to take her lunch break, but that turned into not clocking back in. Bailey and I brought her up to speed with my love life and now they were firmly on team, “Fuck Forest.” They even wanted to make shirts, which I vetoed but knowing them, I wouldn’t be surprised if they showed up with them on in the next couple of days.
“So, what about you and Webber?” Iris said, playing with the label of her beer.
“I’m assuming he’ll go play for Toronto and then I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “We finally discussed our feelings and how we’ve loved each other since college. It’s crazy how we've danced around each other for so long without us saying anything, but I don’t think we could go back to how it was before. I know I love him, and I think I've fallen in love with him again, seeing a different side of him. But… Toronto is so far away.”
“You haven’t discussed it?” Bailey stared at me like I was a dumbass.
I scoffed. “No, we didn’t, not even after we finally got our feelings out in the open. I don’t know we felt, raw? We cuddled and slept because I had just come off a rotation.”
“You could leave with him,” Iris suggested. “You could do what we talked about at Christmas, finally be together.”
My stomach twisted at her words. Talking about that is what got us into this mess.
“I could, but?—”
I didn’t know how to tell them that being with Webber without Forest was weird, it felt wrong.
“Forest isn't the glue that holds you together,” Iris said.
“He isn’t the reason you and Webber work,” Bailey added. “You and Webber have always been compatible.”
“I know we have, but the three of us together felt like home,” I said, trying not to sound defensive. “Sam and I make sense, but with Sam, Forest and I, it felt like we were written in thestars. I know you might think I’m stupid for thinking this, Forest was just a fuck boy who came to our town to run away from something, but there were some days where Forest felt like he just clicked with us like a missing piece we needed to make us work. He balanced us out and we did the same for him and just for a moment, it felt like everything was perfect…until it wasn’t.”
I took a deep breath, realizing a stray tear was sliding down my cheek.
“Jude,” Iris whispered, leaning over to hug me and so did Bailey.
I couldn't hold back the tears as they hugged me, letting them come so that after this I could move forward. The sound of a chair moving close made us all look at the direction the noise came from.
Sam stood in front of us looking just as wrecked as me. His eyes were a little red along with his nose and I hated that he was also in pain. Our phone call from earlier was quick and I didn’t know if he was going to meet us here, since he said he was at the ranch.
“Come on, big guy, your man needs you,” Iris said, getting up, pushing Sam to sit and I immediately went into his arms.
He wrapped me up in his big arms making me feel instantly at ease. His scent and calm demeanor allowed me to relax. Bailey and Iris said something to him, but all I heard was the rumble in his chest. We hugged for what felt like forever until I pulled away to look at him. His hazel eyes gazed down at me with so much love, I didn’t know how I had missed it for so long.
“I love you,” I said.
At the end, if Forest was with us or not, that was still true. I loved my best friend, Sam Webber, and nothing would change that.
“I love you too,” he said immediately. “I’m not going to Toronto.”
“What?!” I jerked away from him. “What do you mean? It’s your dream. Is it because of me? Sam, don’t be stupid you have to go. Hockey is your?—”
“Hey—”
“Sam, you love hockey.”
“I know, but it didn’t feel right,” he said softly. “It felt like I should want it, but I have moved on to better things and the thought of not being with you didn’t feel right.”
“Sam, you can’t give up hockey for me,” I muttered.
“Yeah, I can, but don’t worry, I’m also giving it up for me,” he said, cupping my face so I looked at him. “I maybe have a few years left of hockey, if I don’t get injured, and I have a higher probability of getting hurt now. It’s not worth the risk and being away from you is not an option when I know what it's like to wake up next to you most days. I don’t know what our future looks like, but I want to spend it with you.”
“Sammy.” My voice cracked.
“I know I’m not Forest?—”
