"What kind of plans? Maybe I could join you."
Jeremy shot me a look, trying to act annoyed, but I knew deep down my interest in being with him amused him. "Hell no. Why are you so interested in my weekend plans anyway?"
I tried to think of a reasonable explanation that wouldn't sound stalkerish. "I just thought it would be fun to hang out. There's this movie I've been wanting to see, and I thought maybe?—"
"Look, if you must know," Jeremy said, closing his locker with a sigh, "I have piano lessons all afternoon. And maybe dinner with some friends from my music program afterward."
Piano lessons. That was new information.
Had Jeremy had these plans the first time around? Or have things changed now?In my memory, Jeremy had shown up at the party out of nowhere, already angry about something. But what if he'd had plans that got canceled? What if something had happened to make him change his mind and go to Oliver's house instead?
Not being able to control all these variables stressed me out more than I wanted to admit.
"Okay, but if anything happens, promise me you'll call me first," I said, probably sounding more intense than I intended.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "Why would anything happen? Relax, you sound like my dad now."
I forced myself to laugh. "Sorry, just being a good friend. You know, making sure you're not getting into trouble."
"With piano lessons?" Jeremy laughed. "The wildest thing that might happen is my teacher yelling at me for not practicing enough. Which, to be fair, is pretty likely."
"Well, okay. Just... try to let me know if your plans change, alright?"
"I don't know why this is so important to you, but sure. Anything that keeps you from having a meltdown, pretty boy."
Part of me wanted to be relieved that Jeremy wanted to check in with me before he did something crazy. Still, something inside me wasn't comfortable with the idea of him having such an unpredictable alibi that day. Sure, he had things to do, but that didn't mean something couldn't change. Plans fell through. People changed their minds. And I had no way of knowing if these were the same plans he'd had in the original timeline or if we'd already altered things in ways I couldn't predict.
The next few days passed in a blur of nervous energy and forced normalcy. I tried to spend more time with my friends so they wouldn't feel weird about me anymore. I tried to laugh a little more in class and, in general, to stay close to Lily as much as possible in the school hallways or on our breaks at the hospital. She was letting me be more in her life, and I was grateful for any opportunity she gave me to be there.
By Friday night, I was barely holding it together. Every nerve in my body was screaming with tension, and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I tried.
After forcing down dinner with my family, my parents ate in tense silence while Aria chatted nervously to fill the void. I excused myself and went to my room. I tried to do homework, to distract myself with calculus problems and history reading, but the words swam on the page without penetrating my brain.
At some point, without consciously deciding to, I foundmyself pulling on my shoes, opening my window, and escaping, as if my house were the problem and not my uncontrollable thoughts.
I started walking with no particular destination in mind, or at least, that's what I told myself.
But my feet knew where I was going even before my mind admitted it. The truth was, I just needed to see Lily. To be near her. To feel the calm that only came when she was close. From the moment we had our date on the beach, she'd become my anchor in all this chaos. When everything felt overwhelming, when the weight of what we were trying to accomplish threatened to crush me, just being near her made it all seem manageable somehow.
I've always tried to act strong and like I have everything under control in front of her so she can be at peace and calm, and I think that by doing so, I've also believed that I am.
But right now, with everything still out of our control, things seemed to be getting out of hand. I just hoped both Jeremy and Leo could trust us enough to talk to us before they act impulsively.
Lily opened the window before I could even knock, as if she'd been waiting for me.
"Be careful, Kyle," she said softly as I climbed through. "If I get used to you coming into my room at night, I won't know when I'm in real danger."
"How are you so sure I'm not the real danger?" I asked, settling onto her floor.
"Because when it comes to you, I'm the one who's dangerous."
I laughed at her joke; there was no way she could be the danger between us. Especially not right now. The way she looked at me in the dim light of her room, the way her voice dropped to that intimate whisper, it was doing things to my self-control that I wasn't prepared for.
We sat on the floor with our backs against her bed, our shoulders touching. The contact was minimal, innocent, but it sent electricity through my entire body. I could smell her shampoo, could feel the warmth radiating from her skin, and it took everything in me not to turn and kiss her right then and there.
But I'd made myself a promise. I wouldn't make another move until she asked me to. I needed to be sure she wanted this, wanted me, not just getting caught up in the intensity of our situation.
"Is that a warning?"
