Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding was playing, a song that was extremely popular everywhere this year. I took his hand, and together we stood in a dimly lit area of the beach, where a few other couples were swaying to the music.
His arm slid around my waist, pulling me close, and my breath hitched at the sudden proximity. We'd been close before, in the break room at the hospital and in my bedroom, but this felt different. More deliberate. More intimate. Like we were finally acknowledging what had been building between us all these weeks.
I rested one hand on his shoulder and let him take my other hand in his, our bodies moving together in a slow rhythm that had nothing to do with the beat of the song. We were creating our own tempo, our own world, right there on the sand.
"I want to know you again, Lily," he whispered, lowering his mouth to my ear. His breath was warm against my skin, sending shivers down my spine despite the balmy evening air. "Everything about you. What makes you laugh now, what makes you cry, if you're still afraid of spiders, if you still play classical music when you can't sleep. Let me be the one to decide if you're worth it, not your fears."
His words wrapped around me like a promise, like a vow, like something precious and fragile that I was afraid to hold too tightly.
"Many things may have changed since we stopped seeing each other," he continued, his voice low and intimate in my ears. "But something I'm sure of is that I would love every version of you, no matter what."
I tilted my head back to look at him, and the expression on his face made my heart melt. He was looking at me like I was something miraculous, something worth cherishing, something he'd been searching for and finally found again. He was the only person who had ever looked at me with that kind of intensity. And after all these years, I could feel it again, the feeling of being seen like I was the only one who mattered.
"I want to be your first kiss, Lily. Every time we have to start over, in every timeline, in every world where we find each other, I want it to be me always. Please don't take that away from me."
“Kyle…”
“Don't answer me now. I want you to truly mean your words when you do it, not out of obligation or because you feel pressured by me right now.”
I nodded as I rested my head on his chest again, and we both continued moving to the rhythm of the music that enveloped us, this time in silence.
It had been the perfect night, but I still couldn't help wondering if there would be a happy ending for me, too, after all this.
Did I really deserve it?
CHAPTER 27
Kyle
Lily: Have you already made plans for Saturday with Jeremy?
Kyle: Why? Are you jealous?
Lily: Answer the question, I'm not joking around.
Kyle: I'm working on it, relax.
Five days.That's all we had left until Valentine's Day.
These past four weeks have been extremely crazy in ways I never could have anticipated when we first arrived back in this timeline.
Between trying to gain Jeremy's trust while avoiding being suspicious about my real intentions, monitoring Oliver’s actions, keeping Lily close to me, managing my parents' deteriorating marriage, and actually being present for Aria, I felt like I was slowly drowning. One wrong move, and everythingwould fall apart.
But some things had gotten better, at least. My relationship with Aria had entirely transformed over the past month.
I'd been making her breakfast every morning before school, packing her lunches with little notes that made her smile, and most importantly, just being there. Really being there, not just physically present but emotionally available in a way I'd never been the first time around.
In my past, she was just my annoying little sister. I remember kicking her out of my room when I wanted to play video games or when I brought my friends home from school because she was in the way. Even when Lily came over, I wouldn't let them talk much, even though she also wanted to have a friendship with my girlfriend.
As adolescents, men believe themselves to be the most independent and solitary people possible, as if that somehow makes them more manly.
Now, I knew better, and I’ve become the brother she deserved from the start. I've taken my time getting to know her. I've spent more time with her. And I realized how wonderful and intelligent she is.
"Alright, what's your deal lately?" Tom asked during lunch at the cafeteria, dropping his tray on the table with more force than necessary.
I looked up from the sandwich I'd been staring at without really seeing. "What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb," Mike chimed in. "You've been acting weird for weeks, man."
