The rest of my day was ruined. I couldn't focus on my work anymore, and I couldn't make any progress on any of the things I'd planned to finish that afternoon.
Luckily, it was Friday, so as soon as 5:00 PM struck, I practically ran home. Unlike any other Friday, this one, I didn't feel like going anywhere. I just wanted to be locked in my room and think about how I could change my situation.
Quitting wasn't an option. I'd worked really hard to get where I was, and I felt completely comfortable with the company. Talking badly about him in the human resources department or to the bosses didn't seem like a good idea, either. I had no proof that he was a bad person.
So there were only two options left: face him or ignore him.
I poured myself a glass of red wine and settled onto my pristine white couch. The living room of my apartment was like everything else in my life: minimalist, organized, andcarefully curated. There was no chaos, no unnecessary decorations, just clean and neutral colors that calmed my mind.
Tonight, though, nothing could calm the storm in my head.
Just ignore him.
That was the sensible choice. Large companies meant you could go years without meaningfully interacting with people from different departments. I could request that any accounting system issues be handled by someone else. I could eat lunch at different times, use different elevators, and take alternate routes through the building.
But how long would it take until we accidentally crashed into each other?
My phone buzzed on the coffee table.
Claudette: Are you sure you don't want company tonight? We're worried about you.
Another buzz.
Marlin: I just did some more digging. He's single. Janice from Human Resources told me he was the one who contacted them directly. This wasn't some random application. For some reason, he wanted to work at Waldos. His LinkedIn profile says he's very good at what he does, which is why our company accepted all his requests without hesitation.
Great. So he wasn't just passing through. This wasn't temporary. He decided to be employed explicitly by our firm. So there was a chance I couldn't ignore him at all.
But why? Did he know I worked there? Was this a calculated move to be close to me?
I tried to push that thought out of my head immediately. It's been ten years. He couldn't be so crazy as to change his entire life from one moment to the next for a person he hadn't seen in so long. But the possibility was there. And if that were the case, I would have to face him.
I typed back to my friends: I'm fine. Just need some time to think. We'll talk tomorrow.
I set my phone toDo Not Disturband took another sip of wine.
Face him.
The thought made my stomach clench. What would I even say?
"Hello, fancy seeing you here after you helped my family fall apart completely." Or maybe the casual approach: "Oh, hi, how have you been since everything that happened in high school? I still have post-traumatic stress disorder that no psychologist has been able to fix. I haven't had a single moment of peace."
Neither option felt right. Neither option gave me back the control I desperately needed.
I got up and started pacing, something else I rarely did. My routine was falling apart at the seams, and it had only been a few hours since I'd seen his face on that screen.
Why did he have to come back? Why work in my company, of all places?
I stopped in front of the small shelf in my living room, the one place in my apartment that didn't follow my strict organizational system. A few souvenirs sat there, things I couldn't bring myself to throw away despite their disorderly presence in my life.
My fingers hovered over a small seashell we'd found on a beach years ago before everything fell apart. I'd kept it despite everything. Despite promising myself that I'd purge all remnants of that life forever.
Why had I kept this?
I grabbed the shell and dropped it into the trash can. Then I walked to my desk and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper.
At the top, I wrote: PLAN FOR DEALING WITH KYLE BENNETT.
Because that's what I did, I made plans. I created systems. I controlled what I could control.
