“Morning. You’re up early. I thought you might sleep in.”
Okay, nice casual conversation. I could do this.
He smiled at her, then up at me. “Yeah, my time zones are still a bit messed up. I’m trying to acclimate before we leave.”
I was a bit messed up, too.
“Are you sleeping okay? Is the bed comfortable?”
I curled in my lips and covered them with my fingers to stop my blabbering, but that didn’t help.
“I mean, is the bed comfortable enough? Or is it keeping you from resting?”
He smirked. “You’re cute when you lose your cool. Are you flirting with me?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m not. I’m simply asking about your comfort as my guest.”
Colin laughed and stood up. “The bed is fine, Carson. Not as comfortable as yours, but good. But that might have had something to do with you being in it. But, the more time I spend in it, the better it’ll get.”
I didn’t need a reminder of him in my bed, because it was on a continuous loop in my head.
Nodding, I needed to put some distance between us before I made a colossal mistake and reached for him. My only outlet was the beach, so I headed to the steps that led to the sand.
“Okay. Let’s go, Bella,” I called.
Colin chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. “Where are ya going?”
I raised a brow at him. “To run, obviously.”
I was being a dick, but I couldn’t help it. Completely out of my depth, I didn’t know how to handle all these conflicting feelings.
Colin quickly glanced at the beach, then back at me. “I see grumpy Carson is back, so don’t let me keep you.”
His eyes skimmed over me before hitting me with the smile that turned me inside out. It was the same unguarded expression from when I fucked him.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I released a frustrated groan. “Ugh. We can’t go to training camp like this.”
Colin propped his hands on his hips as his brows drew together. “Like what?”
I motioned between us, almost feeling manic. “Like this. The tension between us is stifling. We’re like two star-crossed lovers, pining for each other.”
His eyes showed a flicker of what I felt before he shut it down. I wanted to grab him and kiss the fuck out of him. But I couldn’t do that.
“This was a mistake. We should never have done this.”
My heart ached with every vile word as I watched him harden toward me. I knew my words had hurt, but they’d also injured me. They felt wrong, but for all the right reasons.
His spine stiffened, and the warmth in his eyes died out. I was prepared for him to set me straight and tell me I was full ofshit. I wanted him to fight for us, even though it was against the rules. I’d made it painfully clear we couldn’t have each other.
But what I got was indifference, and that hurt even more.
The smile I’d seen on the videos and recognized as his self-preservation returned. If I hadn’t seen the vulnerable side of him, I would have mistaken this side for who he really was. This wasn’t my Colin. It was a facade he used to protect himself.
“There’s nothing to regret, mate. It was just a fuck. And it’s forgotten.”
He smiled at Bella. “Have a good run. I’ve got some things to do.”
He turned to walk away but stopped, then pivoted back to me. “When you get back, I’m gonna need the address here for some deliveries. And when I invite a friend or two over.”
