We got back in the shower, unable to keep our hands off one another, and cleaned up. Carson placed a delivery order for Chinese food, and we ate in bed. It was the most intimate experience I’d ever had. And I wanted more of this easy domesticity and more of his attention.
When exhaustion took me under, I turned on my side away from him. He curled his body around mine and held me close. Neither of us wanted to sleep or see the sun come up, but it was inevitable. We had a commitment to keep to our team and each other.
But maybe we could be friends. It might be difficult to compartmentalize everything, but we could try.
When we woke up the next morning, we went for a run on the beach with Bella. We talked about everything and nothing. I didn’t tell him about Leland, preferring to keep that to myself.He was ten thousand miles away, and that was where he needed to stay.
Carson told me about breaking up with a girl he met on a dating app a teammate had suggested. He said there was never a real spark there, not like the one he felt with me. I wanted to reach over and hold his hand, but we were in public, and that wasn’t a smart move.
“Do you feel different now?” I asked.
Carson smiled. “I feel more like me than ever. I’ve kept this part of me buried so deeply that I lost touch with who I am.”
“And who are you, mate?”
His boyish grin was back. “I’m a bisexual man with a thing for you.”
We walked along the beach, our feet in the water, carrying our shoes. Our hands brushed, and Carson caught my pinkie with his.
It was the first romantic, yet heartbreaking, moment of my life. I wanted more time to get to know this side of him and explore the unrelenting attraction between us. But he believed we couldn’t be together, and I understood that. I just didn’t like it.
When I opened the back door to the pool deck that evening, Carson stood behind me with his hand clasped around the door.
“Thank you,” I said, turning to him. “I’ll see you later.”
He pulled me to his chest and kissed me again before letting me go.
“Do you think we can be friends?”
Shrugging, he smiled. “We can try.”
Chapter 11
Carson
It was not supposed to be like this.
Monday morning, I woke early after a night of restless sleep. I hadn’t been able to get comfortable, and even though I’d washed my sheets and aired out my room, I could still smell Colin everywhere. I’d read that the brain stores smell and emotions as one memory, which meant that every time I got close to him, my brain would be inundated with memories. With training camp starting up, and us sharing a room, it would be physically painful. Spending the night with him hadn’t quelled my desire like I’d hoped. It had only intensified the pull I felt toward him.
I had a lot to do, and lying in bed brooding about Colin would solve nothing. My parents were arriving this afternoon, and Bella and I needed to run. So I climbed out of bed, threw on athletic shorts and a sleeveless T-shirt, then headed downstairs to find my shoes.
When I was ready to go, Bella met me at the back door, eager to get outside.
“Let’s go girl,” I crooned, rubbing her head.
She barked and pushed by me to get outside.
“What’s the hurry?” I called after her. But I found what she was after.
Colin stood on the pool deck, hair messily rumpled, appearing as exhausted as I felt. Shirtless, his tight Sydney Swarm rugby shorts sat low on his hips, exposing the rock-hard abdominal muscles and cum gutters. He was unintentionally living, breathing porn, and my fucking weakness.
My heart gave an extra throb, forcing me to divert my eyes. Thank god I needed to close the door.
When I turned back to them, he had squatted down to pet her while she licked his face. She was as enamored as I was.
I stared at him for as long as I could until he turned and smirked at me. Yeah, I was busted. But who could blame me?
Walking closer, I kept a few feet between us. Clenching my fists, I propped them on my hips, then smiled down at him.
