She had picked me for all that I was.
She would have had every right in the world to go out and find a better man, but she wanted me.
Only me.
* * *
After we’d hashed it out, the Sunday proceeded like normal. Babygirl was once again buzzing around me, and I monopolized my Little Pearl, holding her close to my chest and entertaining her all day.
“Could I at least say goodbye to my little star?” John grumbled, standing in the doorway while Nicole blew raspberries and flailed her tiny limbs as I gave her kisses.
“Your little star? She’s your granddaughter, Dad. That’s it.”
Beside me, Selene chuckled, prepared to watch the two of us bicker yet again. I couldn’t stand it when anyone else gave Nicole a nickname.
“Okay. So can I say goodbye to my granddaughter, Grandpa’s little star?” John said in the almost eerie baby voice he used when he talked to my daughter.
Fortunately, for all that I loved her with all of my heart, I was not quite that addlepated.
“Actually, I also call her little star, and I will warn you, Dr. Keller—grandmas get priority,” Judith interjected, strutting into the room. She’d put on her elegant coat and was adjusting her shoulder-length hair. My father gave her a heated look, and she blushed before clearing her throat.
“You know, Ms. Martin, I’m always fascinated by your pointedly precise interjections. I believe there’s a lot that you could teach me, if you’d only accept my invitation to have dinner…” He winked at her, and Judith pulled herself up, straight and wary. I’d never really understood their dynamic, and I didn’t even know for sure whether they liked or disliked each other. But ever since Judith had gotten out of her long-term relationship with Professor Coleman, my father had started taking every opportunity to poke at her.
“Keep me posted on any developments with the little guy. We’ll see you next Sunday.” Selene gave Janel a hug, and then the other woman sagged against my brother. She was clearly exhausted after the full day she’d just had. I had no idea what it felt like for a woman to shoulder the burdens ofa pregnancy, but I had been there for all nine months of Selene’s thrills and miseries, so I could imagine how Janel was feeling then.
“Be good, Pup. You’ve caused enough trouble already,” I told Logan, gesturing to his fiancée’s round belly. Then I ruffled his hair, and he griped out an irritable “fuck off.” Then, I gave Chloe a hug and politely suggested that Simon keep his hands off my sister until after the wedding. Selene cut in then to lay a calming hand on my shoulder.
When it was just the three of us at last, we went upstairs to our bedroom where Little Pearl’s crib was also located.
Selene went into the bathroom to change while I settled into the leather armchair in front of the window and continued to hold my daughter in my arms. The full moon outside lit up her innocent little face. Her ocean eyes were dotted with gold and fixed attentively on me, delightedly roving over every inch of my face. Her little hand patted my chest and grasped my shirt in a tiny fist.
“Here we are again, Nicole. Time for our nightly chat…” I touched her little hand, and it vanished into mine. Her skin was milk-white, so different from mine, but it was my blood pumping in her veins. I was in awe at the power of nature and of a God who had given me such a miracle. “You know, Daddy gets afraid sometimes of watching you grow up in this messed-up world. Afraid you might meet evil people, people who might do mean things. Things I’d never want you to experience or even know about. Never.” I breathed in her smell: baby powder and innocence andmine,and she kicked her plump legs, landing small blows on my thigh. “Your life and Mama’s life are everything to me. The only things that really matter. And I’ll always protect you. You know, before you, I didn’t want to have a daughter because I was afraid. And then you were born, and I’m still so scared. I’m not a perfect man, but I do want to be a good father for you.” She wrapped her small hand around my index finger as if to show me how she was clinging to me—how she needed me. “The first time you smiled at me, I knew that you were my second chance. Daddy promises to never let you down.
“I’ll always be there for you. I’ll tell you everything, all about Mama and me. I’ll tell you about Grandpa John and Grandma Judith. I’ll explain why Uncle Logan is a puppy and Aunt Chloe is a koala.
“I’ll tell you all about my life, a life that began the day I met Tinkerbell and led up to the joy of your birth.” I stood up, my peaceful, sleepy girl nestled in my arms. Her lips parted in a minuscule yawn as she snuggled closer to me. I kissed her forehead and hugged her gently, trying to banish the fear of not living up to her expectations.
Would she be proud of me one day?
“Asleep?”
I turned to find Selene leaning against the bathroom doorframe and watching me fondly. A silky blue-green nightie was the only thing covering her curvy body. Her nipples pressed against the fabric that caressed her soft body just like my hands were about to do.
I glanced down at our Little Pearl and found her eyes closed. Nicole was sleeping sweetly in my arms, as she often did.
My voice was the only lullaby sure to make her fall asleep quickly.
“She has as much hair as you do.” Selene moved closer and began rubbing my shoulders. I shivered. Her touch was pure fire.
“Yeah, she’s pretty like Daddy,” I answered smugly. Selene rolled her eyes, took the baby, and moved over to the crib.
“Let’s try to be quiet until she gets into deeper sleep.” Selene returned to me, and I grabbed her hand, guiding her to the leather armchair in front of the window. The room was dark, save for the glow of a small table lamp.
I sat down and pulled her onto my lap, maneuvering her until she was straddling my hips. When she opened her eyes indulgently, the contact gave me goosebumps all over like a teenager. My eyes ate up her bare legs, and my hands followed, touching them possessively all the way up to her ass.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had,” I whispered breathlessly as I slipped my fingers beneath the straps of her nightgown and kissed the hollow of her throat. Her throat, her jaw, all the way up to her lush lips.
“Thank you,” I whispered in her ear, my voice unsteady; it was as though our souls had briefly touched, and it left me shaken.
