“Of course,” Liam says.He stands and guides Mae into the seat he just vacated.She clings to his hand as she lowers herself into the chair.
“Thank you, honey.Fiona will be so glad to see two familiar faces when she lands.”She presses Liam’s hand to her cheek and then kisses his knuckles.
Guilt swells inside me.Murph and I had countless discussions about my feelings toward Fiona, and the hurt I could never seem to shake after things ended between us.I’d managed to move past it for the most part until Murph was diagnosed with cancer last year.I’m aware he essentially ordered Fiona to keep working and travelling, and assured her he was being well looked after, but still.I can’t help the resentment that gnaws at my gut when I think of how she wasn’t here for Mae, Murph, Liam, and Rex.I staunchly ignore the voice that whispers ‘and me’.
I meet Liam’s eyes, and he nods in understanding.He and I have been here through everything, and we’ll continue to be here long after Fiona is on a plane back to London, flying out of my life once more.
CHAPTER THREE ~ FIONA
My mind feels like a pinball machine.My thoughts zoom around, never settling for long before bouncing off to the next one.Ping.I didn’t get to say goodbye to my dad.Ping.I should be preparing to guide a two-week tour in Italy right now.Ping.How am I going to explain to my mum that I’m staying in Honeywell Hollow?Ping.I’ll never speak to my dad again.Never hear his laugh or his lilting accent, never sit in a room with him while he taps away at his computer, sipping tea, and muttering to himself as he writes his next novel.Ping.Ping.Ping.
I stumble from the plane and into Pearson Airport.I have no idea how I got through Heathrow and onto the right flight in the first place.Mila booked my ticket, helped me pack, and made sure I had everything I needed.I vaguely remember her accompanying me on the tube to the airport, despite my protestations that it was way too far out of her way.She stayed with me until I had to go through security, where I stood, dry-eyed and numb, as she hugged me and told me to keep in touch.
Now, as I hand my passport to the customs agent, he smiles when he sees I’m Canadian.“Welcome home.”
Home.I love Canada and I’m proud to be from here, but I don’t consider it home anymore, not really.The On the Go Travels crew who have been on the job for as long as I have jokingly call ourselves ‘citizens of the world’.It’s a fairly accurate description since we willingly and happily live out of suitcases for most of the year.
I nearly head for the exit before I remember I checked a bag.As a notoriously light packer, I usually make do with just a carry-on, but Mila suggested I bring a variety of clothes, partly because it’s March in Canada and the weather is unpredictable, and partly because I don’t know how long I’ll be staying.She contacted On the Go, as promised, but wasn’t able to get through to anyone who could tell her whether or not I need to vacate our shared house while I’m on suspension.
As I wait for my suitcase to appear on the conveyor belt, I wish I’d insisted on leaving my things behind.I hardly slept last night, and I wasn’t able to sleep during the seven-hour flight, so my eyes are gritty, my head is pounding, and I basically feel like the walking dead.
With so many people crowded around the luggage carousel, I miss my suitcase the first time it goes by.When it comes around again, I duck and dodge my way to the front to snatch it from the belt, banging my shins in the process.My brain registers that it should hurt and I’ll likely have bruises later, but for now, I’m back in numb mode.I need to get out of here, find the bus that will take me two hours north, and then a taxi to take me the final thirty or so kilometres to Honeywell Hollow, since the town’s too small to warrant its own bus stop.I usually enjoy the process of getting to a new destination—you never know what you might see or who you might meet along the way—but right now I’d give anything for the ability to teleport myself to my childhood home and into my mum’s arms.
I already have an inkling of who and what will greet me when I walk in the door of the house.Mum, even in grief, will likely be her usual efficient self.She’ll be cooking, or cleaning, or running around doingall the things.There will be a steady stream of townsfolk in and out; people stopping by to offer condolences, drop off casseroles, and try to coax Mum to sit and have a cup of tea.Everyone knows everyone in Honeywell Hollow, and my parents are beloved fixtures.
I’m sure my arrival will clear everyone out of the house since, unlike my parents, I’m not and never have been considered a beloved fixture of Honeywell.Growing up, people often referred to me as a ‘big fish in a small pond’, and not in an affectionate or indulgent way.They said I had my head in the clouds and one foot out the door, ready to flee town as soon as possible.My desire to leave Honeywell never had anything to do with the town itself, but rather a deep longing to see as much of the world as I could.
I learned not to care what people thought after my dad told me I didn’t owe anyone any explanations, and I should live my life however I saw fit.
“Auntie Fi!”
The high-pitched voice breaks through my fog and makes me freeze in my tracks.My gaze lands on a dark-haired man in the waiting area, then shifts to the frantically waving little boy at his side.A few people behind me mutter as they course-correct to avoid running into me.I open my mouth to apologize, but all that comes out is a strangled sob.
The emotional dam I unconsciously erected yesterday breaks, the numbness washing away to be replaced by…everything.Waves of anguish crash over me, weighing down my body and rooting me in place.
The man and boy surge forward, weaving and bobbing through the crowd like fish swimming upstream.Liam reaches me first and pulls me into his arms, speaking quiet, soothing words in my ear.Liam.Liam is here.My lifelong friend, the man who’s like a brother to me.His nephew, Rex—my honorary nephew—wraps his arms around my waist a second later, his head burrowing into my side.
They both hold me and let me cry.It feels like ages before I finally rein in my tears and release my death grip on Liam.My cramped fingers ache from clutching his shirt so tightly.I meet his sad eyes briefly before bending to cup Rex’s face and kiss his forehead.His face is soaked with tears, his brown eyes puffy and red rimmed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been as glad to see anyone as I am to see you two right now,” I say, pulling a tissue from my pocket and gently wiping Rex’s face.Mila made sure my pockets, purse, and carry-on were well stocked with tissues before I left.“Are you okay?”
“No,” Rex says in a small voice.“Are you?”
I’m taken aback by his honesty.I should say something comforting or maybe even encouraging.Tell Rex how much my dad loved him and how being his stand-in grandfather filled him with joy and pride.As true as the words are, they taste like ashes in my mouth.My dad was the one with the gift for words anyway, so I simply say, “No.”
Rex nods as if he understands perfectly.
I kiss his cheek and straighten to face Liam once more.“What are you doing here?”
“Mae told us what time your flight was getting in.I figured the last thing you needed was several more hours of being surrounded by strangers when you could be with family.”
I cup Liam’s face the same way I did with Rex a moment ago.My hands are met with a thick layer of stubble that’s a stark contrast to the baby-soft skin of Rex’s face.Liam’s eyes are dry, but the bloodshot whites around the dark brown irises tell me he’s done his fair share of crying recently.
“Thank you.”I want to say so much more, but the words won’t come.I want to ask how my mum is doing and who’s at the house with her.Or, more specifically, if one person in particular is there.The only other person who would be as affected by my dad’s death as Mum, Liam, Rex, and I are.
Like Rex, Liam nods in understanding.He grips my shoulders and kisses my cheek before scooping up my luggage and inclining his head toward the exit.“Ready to go home?”
No.If Honeywell Hollow hasn’t felt like home for all these years, it’s going to feel even less so without my dad.I may not have seen him in person since December, but I always knew he was in Honeywell, working on his next novel, loving my mum fiercely, and being an amazing friend to so many.The world doesn’t seem quite right now, knowing he’s no longer in it.I have a ridiculous urge to grab my suitcase from Liam, run back through the terminal, and book a plane ticket to literally anywhere else on the planet.
