Felix opened the door in a t-shirt so big it hung off one shoulder and a pair of sweatpants, blinking red-eyed at me and then squinting.
“Kieran,” he said, like he’d just woken out of a daze.
“How… long have you been staring into your laptop screen today?” I asked.
Felix huffed. “Too long.” He sniffed. “Chinese?”
“Korean,” I said. “Mrs. Kwan makes an amazing takeout galbi and she always gives me extra tteokbokki. They’re—”
“Stir-fried rice cakes, I know,” Felix said, reaching out for the paper bags. “Come inside, I’m starving.”
I laughed, following him in. “Figured you could use the fortification. It’s all high-fat, high-sugar, high-protein.”
“And incredible hangover food,” Felix agreed. “I’m not exactly hungover, but… I don’t even wanna look at my wordcount for the day.”
“I did also bring beer,” I said. “Figured you’ve been working hard and could use the reward.”
Felix turned back and looked at me, a million things happening on his face at once. Gratitude, mostly.
I wondered if he’d eaten at all today.
He was a grownup and it wasn’t as though he needed someone to look after him, but…
I wanted to look after him, and I thought I was doing an okay job right now.
We both settled on the sofa, food and beer spread out over the coffee table, Felix eating without saying a word.
I watched him, equally quiet, glad I’d done something helpful today.
“This really is good,” he said as he grabbed a second helping. “Might have to come back here just for the Korean food.”
“Got a lot more choice back in New York,” I said, and I could’ve kicked myself—Felix didn’t need reminding.
He didn’t say anything, but I could see my chance getting away. I had to say something, and I had to say itnow.
“But, uh, there’s a new farm-to-table place opening just outside of town. On a real farm. Owner already promised a great harvest festival menu. And people move here all the time. It’s… it’s a nice place.”
“It is,” Felix agreed.
Okay.Okay. Still in with a shot.
Focus, Kieran.
My hands were suddenly shaking, so I set my beer down and tried to will them to be steady.
“Felix.” I reached out to put a hand on his knee, running my thumb over the soft fabric of his sweatpants. I could still remember the skin under them and on the rest of his body, squirming under me while happy sounds bounced between us.
I wanted more of that, and more ofthis. More quiet moments eating dinner together, just the two of us.
Things could’ve been so different if I hadn’t moved away, but we had a second chance now. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t at leasttryto take it.
Felix looked down at my hand, then up at my face.
“Kieran,” he said, voice low, eyes soft.
I swallowed.Courage.
“Felix, I’ve been thinking,” I started, unsure how to continue. I’d been thinking alotof things, and I wasn’t sure which one of them to say first.
