“You haven’t always been like this, huh?” Mandi turned to look at me.
“No,” I said. “No, this is the new me.”
I’d learned a lot this week, and I had Aiden to thank for it. Most of all, I’d learned about myself.
I’d always be grateful to Aiden for everything he’d shared with me. I didn’t deserve it, but he’d been so kind anyway.
“New Carter’s kinda sexy,” Mandi said, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
… which was also the moment I spotted Aiden coming out of the barn.
Dammit.
We only had one more night together and I didn’t want things to go wrong at the last minute. I wanted…
I wanted something to take away with me. A memory to keep, a reminder that someone had thought I was worth being kind to once.
But I could see the look in Aiden’s eyes and I knew what this looked like and I wasn’t surewe’re just friendswould cut it when we were talking about the ex-girlfriend I’d brought him here to avoid.
“Aiden,” I called out, which was maybe stupid, because I probably should have let him walk away and cool off.
Mandi backed off like she’d been burned, which was an understandable reaction, but probably not helping.
“I was, uh…” Aiden looked between me and Mandi, hands shoved deep in his pockets. “Hallie and Damien are starting to drop hints about people leaving. But I can just… wait inside.”
This isn’t what it looks like.
Except if I said that, I’d sound guilty. Aiden wasn’t yelling. He didn’t even look upset.
Maybe he wasn’t. He was the one who wanted to throw me back into the dating pool like a slightly undersized fish, after all.
Maybe I was being stupid about all of this. How were we supposed to have a future, anyway? He wasn’t going to come with me to New York. Helikedit in Slow Falls.
“No, uh. I’m getting cold, actually,” I said. “And tired. I could go for getting out of here.”
Aiden nodded. “I’ll grab coats and meet you by the car?”
Right. To give me time to say whatever I needed to say to Mandi.
Why did I ever think I could keep him?
* * *
The bed was alreadycold when I woke.
I couldn’t stop myself reaching out to Aiden’s side of it, stomach knotting up as I ran my fingers over the sheets. No kiss good morning today. He’d clearly been gone a while, and he’d gone out of his way not to wake me while he left.
That was the thing. Even now, Aiden was being gentle with me. I didn’t deserve that gentleness, I hadn’t done anything to earn it, but that was the whole point. He’d neverrequiredme to earn it.
He was just like this.
Like Kieran said, he was way out of my league. I’d forgotten, for a little while, because he never acted like it. But it wastrue.
Shoving the thought aside, I rolled out of the cold bed and checked the time.
A little after eight. Plenty of time to shower before checkout, and to give Aiden time to do the same if he hadn’t already.
And then the long drive home in what I was increasingly afraid would be the world’s most awkward silence.
