“So the thing is,” Ryan said. “When I figured out my wife was cheating on me with the guy who I thought was my best friend, I… wasn’t entirely sure who I was more mad at.”
Oscar nodded. “Firstly,ouch. Secondly, betrayal on both sides, makes sense that you were mad at both of them.”
“Yeah, but…” Ryan paused to wet his lips. How could he say this without sounding pathetic?
He probably couldn’t. The question was whether or not Oscar wouldjudgehim for being pathetic.
Which he wouldn’t. Ryan didn’t know him well, exactly, but he knew that much about him.
“I think I had a crush on him,” Ryan said. “I don’t know. That sounds dumb when I say it out loud.”
Oscar shook his head. “It doesn’t,” he murmured, holding Ryan’s gaze.
Ryan spent two heartbeats staring into Oscar’s eyes before looking away in a panic, his heart pounding in his chest, a heavy knot forming in his stomach.
He’d never said this to anyone before because he was sure they’d think he was full of shit. Imagining it. Pretending he was something he wasn’t.
Oscar wasn’t doing that. He was telling Ryan itwasn’tstupid. Maybe even that it was believable.
“It doesn’t?” Ryan asked cautiously.
“You’re the expert on your own feelings.” Oscar shrugged. “No one else can tell you they’re wrong, or stupid. If you have them, you have them.”
Blood rushed in Ryan’s ears. He hadn’t even known he wanted someone to say that to him, but as soon as the words registered in his brain, he knew they were exactly what he needed to hear.
“You wanna talk about it?” Oscar asked.
“I…” Ryan began, unsure how to respond.
Did he want to talk about it?
On the one hand, this might be hisonlyopportunity.
On the other hand, he had to spend the nightandtomorrow with Oscar, and pouring out his heart and soul seemed like a good way to make that awkward as hell.
“I guess…” Ryan began. “I guess I always liked it when he smiled at me, or laughed at my jokes, and I always felt like I desperately wanted to be around him. Which I thought was just normal friendship stuff until, uh… until I caught them together, and…”
This was harder than Ryan had expected it to be. He hadn’t had to say any of this out loud before.
“Take your time,” Oscar said gently.
“I guess I felt like I…gotit, y’know? I could see why she’d pick him over me. I would have done the same. And then after I had a dream about it…”
“A sexy dream?” Oscar asked, one eyebrow raised.
Great, evenhethought this was weird.
“Kinda? Like I was in Laura’s place, with him.” He bit his lip. “I wanted to write that off as empathy, but… I’ve always been curious. About what it’d be like to… you know…”
“Have sex with a man,” Oscar provided, his tone perfectly even.
Ryan’s ears burned as he blushed. If anything, Oscar’s complete calm made this even worse.
“Yeah, more or less. I was gonna start with kissing one. Can we have this conversation when wearing a little more than a towel?” he asked, the vulnerability getting to be too much for him.
“Sure,” Oscar said, grabbing a set of neatly-folded pajamas from the bed beside him and standing.
Why hadn’t Ryan thought to bring his pajamas into the bathroom with him?
