Patrick nodded. “Ryan sends his love. He said itexactly that way in his email. He's really fucked up, Phillip. Hereally needs you to make him right. Alexander said he's drivingeveryone crazy but I think he's going a little crazy himself. Ihaven't seen him, just word of mouth through Alexander. He barelyemails anyone. He calls Sandy once in a while. But I heard that hecalls here a lot. God, Phil, you gotta get better. We can't keephim alive if you don't.”
Mark blinked and wondered at how true Patrick'swords were. He knew Ryan. The guy was strong. He could handle justabout anything that was thrown his way. But he believed thatsurviving without Phillip might not be palatable for Ryan.
They stayed their allotted time and then bothleft.
***
A week later they were all sitting in thewaiting room. Patrick, Mark, Sandy, Kenneth, Bob, Jeff and everyoneelse, sitting there laughing at the Phillip stories that were beingpassed around.
It had been the first time in three weeks thatthey all laughed.
“The first time he walked out in that SmokeyBear I thought I was going to piss my pants. Iknewrecruitswere going to piss theirs. He looked downright evil. If they couldhave seen him during his BCT they would have laughed him straightout of the Army.” Jeff laughed.
“He called me two weeks in and demanded that Icome get him.” Sherri giggled. “Momma, these guys are so fu..sorrymomma..crazy. You need to come and get me right the fuc..sorrymomma..Now!”
Everyone laughed hard.
“Those two made him sound like the Anti-Christ.Every one of us was scared to death of the guy.” Patrick snorted.He pointed at Robert and Jeff.
“And that was before we actually SAW him.”Kenneth laughed. “When he came out I swear to Godeveryonenearly started to cry. Not only was he crazy but he was a giant. Hespoke so softly we all had to strain to hear him.”
“We got back into the Barracks and we're sittingon our bunks wondering what the fuck we did when we si..excuse meMa'am..signed up. Ryan takes one look at me and says 'Dude, I don'tthink they were bullshitting us..I think he really killed thatguy.' We all looked at him and Brendon burst into tears.” Patricklaughed hysterically.
“I wanted to cry but I was afraid if I didPhillip would have ripped my head off. So instead I lived throughBrendon,” Kenneth admitted, grinning.
Mark smiled. “One time Brendon was under hisbunk tucking the sheets in. They were trying to get everything inshape before inspections. He's singing...Now Brendon cannot sing.Not one single note...He's singing ‘Amazing Grace’ orsomething.”
Patrick starts laughing already.
Kenneth groaned.
“Anyways Phillip enters the room quietly. For abig man he’s quiet on his toes. No one notices him. And all four ofthem start to sing. The only two on key...and they werestruggling...was Ryan and Patrick. Phil booms 'I command you tostop!' Or something. Kenneth nearly knocks himself out on the steelpost of his bed. Ryan turned so fast he tripped over Patrick andlanded on his face. And Brendon jerked up and hit the bottom post,yelling 'Oh fuck, is that God?'” Mark's face broke into asmile.
Everyone howled.
That was what Ryan walked in on.
“What the fuck?” he growled. “Why the fuck areyou laughing?”
Everyone sobered instantly.
Ryan looked ragged. His uniform was wrinkled anddusty and his face was covered in dirt. His body language washarsh. He couldn't believe everyone was fucking laughing whenPhillip was in the other room...dying. Ryan knew it in his heartthat his lover wasn't going to pull out of this.
“Is this funny to y'all? Someone tell me whatthe fucking joke is. I don't see a fucking joke!”
Patrick rose and held his hand up. “Ryan...”
“Ryan Ross Gracin!” He didn't need to sayanything. Sherri was all over him. “Stop this right now. WE neededa break from the stress,” she said, as firmly yet as gently as shecould. “Come here!” Ryan's shoulders sank and he slipped into thewoman's arms.
No one said a word when Ryan burst intotears.
***
The nurse argued with Ryan. She wouldn't let himin, as grungy as he was. He wouldn't leave the hospital and she wasfucking crazy if she thought he would. They settled it by allowinghim to shower in the doctor's shower and put on a fresh pair ofscrubs.
Sandy took Ryan back. She held his hand tightlyand prayed he could handle it.
Once in the room Ryan stumbled backwards. Tearsslid down Sandy's face watching the other man's reaction.
