“What’s a Locot cake?” Fallon said as I took her hand.
“That would be trying to describe what a Goddess tastes like.”
I noted the set of her shoulders and the slow blinks. My mate was tired. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
“Let’s head home.”
She fidgeted. “The berries! Will your mother be disappointed if I don’t try?”
“We can go tomorrow. They will still be here. She would say the same,” I said.
“At least let me set up a loaf for the morning.”
She must have been spent if she complied. Doubt pressed on me as I raced home with her on my back. I did not act as a good mate today. I let her come in contact with danger. She had been out in the cold too long. She trembled in my fur and I still didn’t know what was wrong. I wanted her to let me in. Trust me. Which was completely hypocritical, when I still didn’t trust her with my truth.
It just wouldn’t work. Even if I convinced Honey to be my mate, would I convince her to deal with all this? The pack was always at our door. My siblings were always in the middle of things. Too loud, too much. Something was always going wrong when Honey needed rest and peace to help whatever was happening to her.
We dealt with the crisis, for now, but the reality of the next one pressed on me. Maybe if I gave her enoughorgasms, Honey would give me a chance to explain this mess to her. I already knew she would be mad about this secret but the longer it went on, the less capable I felt of explaining it. I liked my fur where it was. Because if there was one thing I knew about Fallon, it was that she knew how to use a skinning knife.
Chapter 14
Fallon
The witching hour woke me before the sun thought about peeking over the horizon. I kept my eyes screwed shut, fighting to go back to sleep. The dark cloud accompanying a wave of pain rolled through my mind, my body, chasing sleep like a scattering of snowflakes. My back tightened to the point that it might crush my lungs. My left arm twitched, attempting to leave my body altogether. Was this the second stage of the fever, as Lenora promised?
The wind howled outside, echoing the cry inside me. While it hadn’t been warm in this winter wonderland, the squall plunged the temperature and the pressure. Two things my joints hated.Not now,I pleaded. The pain didn't listen. I hadn't had a real flare-up in a while and the absence of it let hope grow in the empty place.Please letme rest.But misery stripped sleep from me layer after layer until I stared helplessly at the ceiling.
Crushed faith blossomed fear. Was this the second stage? Would I become even more incapable in a world that only valued fit bodies? The thought trailed sadness behind it. A haze threatened to consume me. I fought it. There was much to do. Productivity would surely conquer this spurt of random bodily betrayal. I must be able to paper over it, despite how weak I felt.Remember your methods of control.I took my potions. I did my stretching, but no matter how many boxes I checked off, the pain always came back. Shame tasted bitter on my tongue as I willed myself to sleep.
Until the chatter started.
Did you cover the overnight bread so it’ll rise for breakfast?
I had. I knew I had.
If you didn’t cover it, you’re not going to have bread for the morning and it was the only thing Anise ate without complaint.
Of course it was. I was a capable baker, though I didn’t have the same passion for it.
You should check if you covered that bread.
My muscles ached and my bones throbbed with every reminder. Someone was surely convulsing the arch of my foot. I didn’t want to wake Declan but I could tell, even breathing deeply, he was awake.
Guilt sloshed together with the rest of my mess. I was taking up his bed with my problems.
You’re not getting up and fixing it. What if you did it wrong?
Honey?His voice was at least more soothing than the caustic one in my head. He brushed a hand down my spine and Godds it hurt, like he trailed acid down my body. He jerked his hand away and the burning tar feeling subsided. Fear replaced it. The need to tame that loaf nearly choked me.
“I have to go check on my bread.”
“Fallon!”
I knew that tone. It said I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. I wouldn’t if I gave into it. Stiff, wobbly as a new colt, but determined, I stumbled out of bed. Hopefully, I looked eager and not pain-drunk.
“At least put on a robe,” he said.
Though it weighed a thousand pounds, the red flannel did keep me warm against the chilled, dark hallways. I fled out the door, hoping Declan would go back to sleep so he wouldn’t see this, see me.
