“Will they?” I say, my tone dripping with sarcasm.
“Yeah, they will. You’re amazing.”
“Well, he better hurry up. I slept with Deek a couple weeks ago.”
“Nooo!” Liz yells so loud, Silas, the girls, the dogs and a few random birds all turn and look at her.
“I’m sorry. It’s fine! Everything’s fine!”
Silas gives a thumbs up and goes back to pushing the swing.
“Okay. I’m gonna put my head together with Claudia and Noa, and we’re gonna find you someone. Hell, I’ll even ask Scott. He knows all the big city lawyer types.”
Liz and Silas’s twin brother have a complicated history. Mostly because he’d been in love with her at one point, but hadn’t confessed his feelings until after she and Silas had slept together. Things had been tough, but now Scott was doing his best to be a good uncle. Truth be told, I’d fuck him if he wasn’t a messy douche. He was just as hot as Silas, but the corporate, cleaned-up version, minus the beard and the long hair, with a few Tom Ford suits added. Corporate law fit him a little too well for my liking.
I considered Silas’s cousin for a hot second. A cute, burly Scotsman who used to run the farm’s diner, but he was married to the place and then literally married someone else and moved to Los Angeles. I hear they are very happy. Must be nice.
“I’ll pass. No lawyers for me,” I say, lying my ass off. I’d been sexting with Vaughn just the night before. He’d texted me to say goodnight and somehow got on the subject of what he’d do if he was in my bedroom waiting to tuck me in. I fell asleep with my fingers still between my legs, thinking of Vaughn. And Shaw.
“I met one guy, but it’s messy and he can be a jerk. I still really want to let him hit it.”
“Listen. You’ve had a really shitty year and half. If you wanna let a meh dude hit, let him hit. But not Deek. And be sure you hit then quit. Sound legit?”
“Ahh, you really are a mom. All unfunny and shit.”
“You know what I mean. You just know not to catch feelings for lousy dick.”
I almost tell her that my confidence in that department is still a little shaken considering I almost married a pretty lousy guy.
Yeah, but at the time you didn’t know,a little voice in my head reminds me.Don’t beat yourself up.Little voice is right.
“In the meantime, I’m glad I have you and Silas and the girls.”
“And we love having you, my Brookie Babe.” I look over at her and she looks just like our mom. The thought reminds me that I’m not alone with these kinda crappy feelings. My sister has my back. It’s not necessary, but I know she’d fist fight Shaw for me too.
Fourteen
Brooklyn
Okay fine. So, Shaw was right. Ten days is a long time, made even longer by the fact that I was basically sexting Vaughn the whole time and playing this other sick mind game with Shaw. He knew Vaughn and I were talking and made an effort to also connect with me. My initial rejection of that idea turned into a perverse back and forth where he’d try to ask me intimate questions and I’d respond with short, clipped remarks. It quickly became clear that Shaw was getting off on my sly responses and my dumb ass really leaned into it. By the time I left the office that Friday, I was practically crawling out of my skin.
I shower and spend way too much time thinking about what I want to wear to have a civil conversation with Shaw. I have my AC unit on, but it’s been eighty degrees all week. My favorite yellow sundress that shows off my ass and barely contains my tits is good enough. I put my fresh set of box braids up in a ponytail and check my barely there makeup no less than seven times in my bathroom mirror. At 8:15, he calls to let me know he’s downstairs. I buzz him in and then wait the few minutes it takes for him to come up to my floor. I check the peephole right after he knocks and try not to faint at the distorted image of Christopher Shaw standing in my hallway.
I open the door and the real thing is much more devastating. He’s wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and a light green t-shirt that’s tight on his biceps and shows off the perfect round slopes of his pecs. His hair is freshly lined up and his beard is nicely trimmed. His brand new white sneakers shouldn’t be a turn on, but I do love a man who knows how to dress fresh for the summer.
“Hey.”
I glare up at him. “Hello, Shaw. Did you find some place to park?”
“Yeah, down the block.”
“Good. Come on in.”
I move so he can walk past me and then watch as he drops his keys next to mine in the little bowl I have on the edge of the counter. It’s strange having him in my apartment. Mostly since I haven’t had a whole bunch of men, or any single man really, hang out in my place in such a long time. Deek doesn’t count. I don’t want to acknowledge the other part. The time we spent together at Shaw’s house still feels like a fantasy. Having him drive down here and step into my place makes things feel more real.
“Just you here?” he asks.
“Yep. Just me.”
