“Bye Brook.”
“Byeee.”
I know I’m being petty and immature, but I don’t care. Shaw hurt me and I plan on being a pain in his ass until I feel better about it.
* * *
I know it sounds silly, but the massive wraparound porch of my sister’s farmhouse is my new happy place. As kids, we rarely left the Bronx. Just to visit family in New Jersey and the one summer we went to our cousins in Texas. Liz and I are the Bronx through and through and while I can’t see myself living anywhere but New York, this small town upstate where my sister has settled down with her farmer man is so peaceful.
I look out over their yard where Silas is pushing Princess P on her tire swing, little Iona perched on his hip. Their dogs are skipping through the grass having a grand old time.
It’s a warm summer evening and the sun is still in the sky. I’m already covered in bug spray. Liz is beside me and we’re shucking corn for dinner, including a few dozen more ears to hold Silas over for seven minutes or so. I’m still tense over my conversation with Shaw. I do want to talk to him, but I’m disturbed by how badly I want to fuck him. He upset me and giving him a bit of that back gave me an unexpected rage boner that I still don’t really understand. I want to cuss him out to his face and then sit on that face just to shut him up. It's a fun fantasy, but it’s not healthy. I don’t want a relationship like that.
“Ah Jesus,” Liz suddenly says. I follow her line of sight to her Silas.
“What?”
“No, I just realized something.”
“What?”
“I’m gonna let this man put another baby in me.”
“You are?!” I laugh.
“Yup. I just—TMI or whatever the hell. But he comes home every day after working his ass off and I just can’t keep my hands off him. Even right now. You go to sleep, kids go to sleep and it’s on.”
“One, gross. I don’t need to know you’re fucking while I’m here. Two, that doesn’t mean you need to get pregnant again.”
“Oh, but it does,” my sister says deadpan.
I chuckle and turn back to the corn in my hand.
“I can’t explain it. I mean, it is no walk in the park, but I like being pregnant and just look at him.”
I look over at Silas again. He’s huge, a Brawny paper towel ad come to life, with this chubby cheeked toddler on his hip. He pushes the tire swing again, then strokes Iona’s head before he kisses it. “Okay, fine. He’s a great father.”
“He’s a great father. We have this big house. All this freaking land. It’s not like how we grew up. There’s room for kids to move around here. He told me he was open to as many kids as I want.”
“Well, look at you.”
My sister glances over at me and whatever she sees on my face brings her gently back to Earth. “I know. If the boys at the firm could see me now.” Corporate litigation used to be her bread and butter. Now she’s a full-on farmer’s wife, raising two beautiful girls and six dogs, running her own bakery.
“I’ve never seen you this happy.”
“Shit’s good, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“I don’t know. I figured I’d marry some business jerk, Mr. Big, kinda guy, but like Black and not afraid of commitment. I never pictured this. It suits me, though. It feels right.”
I just smile and keep my eyes on my corn.
“It’ll happen for you, Brook,” she says softly as she nudges my shoulder. “Soon. I know it.”
“Ehh, I don’t know about all that, but I appreciate the positivity.”
“Things will get better.”
