“What?”
He tilted his head, regarding her quietly. “Can I do anything to help?”
The sweetness of his offer brought the sting of guilt. She didn’t want to hurt Josh. It was the last thing she wanted. “Sorry. I’m a little on edge this morning.”
He pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay. I understand. You’re dealing with a lot.” He wrapped her up tightly and pressed a kiss to her temple.
In a few minutes Josh would probably be just as upset. But she’d worked it all around in the night and she had to do this. With his track record, a breakup was inevitable, and she’d rather end things now before her feelings grew any stronger. Before he broke her heart. If he cheated on her, she didn’t know if she could come back from that. But if they parted ways now, maybe they could remain friends.
She told herself to step back. But she needed just a moment more in his arms. She needed to soak in the sense of safety and acceptance he’d always given so freely. Needed to memorize the feel of his strong arms around her. The familiar scent of his cologne. The wide slope of his shoulders. She memorized it all. Every little detail so she could reflect on it later, close her eyes and remember what being loved by Josh had felt like.
She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and pulled away. “We need to talk, Josh.”
Chapter 43
Nothing good had ever followed those ominous words. A sense of doom spread through Josh like venom. Maggie had hardly fooled him this morning with her fake smiles and can-do spirit. The minute his parents took off with Zoey, she dropped the act. But since then she’d been edgy and quiet.
Until that hug. She’d gripped him so tightly it made him ache. But it also made him heady, how easily she’d fallen into his embrace. Like she trusted him to keep her safe. Like he was her shelter in the storm.
He’d thought it was a good sign.
Not a good-bye. And now, staring into her guarded eyes, he realized that’s exactly what it had been. A fist tightened in his gut. “Don’t do this, Maggie.”
“I love you, Josh, I really do.”
“Then don’t do this!” He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t. Not when they were finally together. Not when she finally loved him the same way he loved her.
Dial it back, Reynolds.He sucked in a breath.
She was hurting, she was reeling. He had to remember that. “Listen, honey... You’ve been through a lot. I get it. You’re overwhelmed and questioning everything you knew to be true. But you’ll processit and come out the other side and realize Ethan really did love you like crazy. Maybe he did make a terrible mistake years ago, but that doesn’t negate everything that happened between the two of you. And it doesn’t changeanythingbetween us.”
She looked away. Blinked back tears. “I’m sorry, Josh. I really am. But I just can’t do this. It—it’s too much.”
He reached out and took her shoulders, waited until he had her full attention. “Don’t push me away, Maggie. Let me be there for you. I want to help you through this. We can talk on the phone and I’ll come up every weekend.” He’d cancel tours if he had to. Nothing was more important than Maggie.
Compassion flickered in her eyes. Her lips trembled. “It’s not that. I don’t even think I— I don’t know if I believe in love anymore. And even if I did, I don’t want to. Love ends. Love hurts. And I’m so tired of hurting, Josh.” Her voice wobbled.
He tried to pull her into his arms.
She shrugged away.
“Let me hold you.”
“No. It won’t help. The only thing that’ll help is going home and forgetting this summer ever happened.”
He flinched. This summer had been the highlight of his life. Having Maggie had been a dream come true.
Her face softened. “Not you, Josh. Not us. I didn’t mean it that way.”
Her words would’ve soothed his crumbling spirits, but they didn’t change the fact that she was ending things. Anxiety bit at him like a thousand fire ants.
“I just want to forget about Will and what Ethan did or didn’t do—I wish I’d never seen him at that stupid carnival. I just want to—I want to stop hurting.”
“I don’t blame you. Let’s just forget about Will for now. Let’s give it some time. I’ll come up next weekend and we can talk it through.”
Frustration flared in her eyes. “You’re not listening to me. I can’t do this, you and me. I just can’t.”
“So, what, we’re just... friends again? You’re in my life. In myfamily. It’s not that simple.”
