“Surely, you aren’t trying to imply that a man can’t be a victim of sexual assault. I’m quite certain I must’ve misheard. I would hate to have to file a report of my own. One that, oh, I don’t know…” Ever the drama queen, Max pauses and taps her chin. “…Maybe accused a detective of misconduct fordiscouraging a victim from filing a report.” The ice in Max’s voice could freeze hell. I can practically see the man’s balls crawl back up into his body.
“No! Uh, no need for all that. I just…well, you see…the thing is…” With his face beet red and sweat beading on his brow, the poor asshole looks like he’s one breath away from a heart attack.
Max must be feeling merciful, because she gives him an out. “Why don’t you go find us a female officer? Even one fresh out of the academy could do a better job than you at this point.” Detective Bradford practically leaves skid marks behind in his haste to escape Max.
I pull away from Teddy and wrap my arms around Max’s waist, pressing my forehead into her shoulder blade. “Have I told you lately that you are one scary, badass bitch?”
Her hands come up to rest on top of mine. She turns and kisses my forehead before she responds. “I mean, you’re a little overdue, but I’ll forgive you…this time.”
A laugh escapes me, but I sober quickly when a female detective approaches us. Once again, I find myself sandwiched between Max and Teddy, their faces stony. The woman heading our way has dark eyes and raven hair. She’s wearing a sleek maroon suit that would normally look out of place in this setting, but the confidence she radiates makes everyone else in the station appear woefully underdressed.
She practically marches up to me. When she holds her hand out to me, I hesitate briefly before reaching out and shaking it. “I’m Detective Amara. I would like to apologize for the asshole before me. Please know that his antiquated opinions do not reflect those of this department. If you still feel up to it, I would very much like to take your statement and help you find the justice you deserve.”
Speechless, all I can do is nod. “Good,” she says, clapping her hands together. “I’ll go get an interview room set up, and I’ll beback in a few minutes.” Detective Amara strides away, and the other officers are quick to move out of her way.
“I think I just got a lady boner,” Max says.
“I think I just got a boner for a lady,” I agree before we both burst into much-needed laughter.
“You two are utterly ridiculous,” Teddy chides, but he does a poor job of hiding the smile in his tone.
Sitting in the interview room across from Detective Amara, I’m struck by how sterile it is. Grey walls, a two-way mirror, a table with four uncomfortable chairs, and a video camera—that’s all there is to it. The longer I sit here, the more I feel like a criminal instead of someone here to report a crime.
My discomfort must be evident because the detective gives me a wry grin. “I know this isn’t the most welcoming environment. I’ve tried to explain that we need separate interview rooms for victims and suspects, but they’re really fond of the ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ method around here.”
I meet her grin with one of my own. “Southerners aren’t exactly known for their love of change.”
“So I’m learning,” she replies before shifting in her seat. Seriousness envelops her. “Are you sure you don’t want one of your friends to be in here with you? I can’t imagine this will be easy for you, and they seemed very protective.”
I take a minute to really think about her offer. “I’m sure. As much as I love them and their unwavering support, I can’t have them in here. I need to do this on my own, but I also don’t want them to hear all the sordid details. I’ve already lived through it—no need to drag them into the darkness with me.”
“Okay. If you’re sure.” She turns the camera on. “This is Detective Wren Amara, badge number 31947. Interview with Cooper Gray Sorenson beginning at 1049. Cooper, go ahead and tell your story.”
“When I was fourteen…”
Cooper
Three hours later, I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mack truck. My limbs are filled with lead. My eyes are gritty, and they burn. The skin under my nose is chafed. In short, I’m a complete disaster, and the itch to cut is clawing at me. Max and Teddy approach me cautiously. Teddy holds out a cup from my favorite coffee shop, and if there were any fluids left in my body, I would have burst into tears.
I sink into his chest with a sob as he wraps me up in his arms. Max is gently rubbing my back. “I need to call Dr. Krazinski. Like now.”
Teddy clasps my face and tilts my head back, forcing me to meet his eyes. “First, I don’t want you to ever sound so defeated when you ask for help. Being able to recognize the need for help and then being able to admit that out loud is something you should be proud of. Far too many people never make it to where you are right now. Second, I figured you wouldn’t be in the best place after the interview. Dr. Krazinski is waiting for you at hisoffice. Max and I will drop you off. I’ll take Max to the apartment while you’re working with him, and then I’ll come back and get you.”
“Thank you,” I say, doing my best to allow his words to sink in and take root. Teddy gently guides me out of the police station with a hand on my lower back. Max has a finger in my belt loop, refusing to let me go. I spend the entire drive to Dr. Krazinski’s office with my head in Max’s lap in the back seat and my leg extended into the space between the two front seats, with Teddy rubbing circles against my ankle. Apparently, I’m not the only one that needs the physical connection right now.
Dr. Krazinski’s eyes lock onto my wrist, where my thumbnail is leaving dark red marks. Following his gaze, I realize what I’ve been doing, and I tuck my hands under my thighs to prevent any further damage. We stare at each other until Dr. K finally speaks.
“Tell me about the good things that happened today.”
My head snaps back in shock. “The…good things? Why would we need to talk about those? They aren’t what’s bothering me—what’s got me so strung out I’m fighting not to scratch myself until I bleed. They aren’t what has me wanting to drag a knife up my arm!” My chest is heaving like I just ran a marathon.
Ever calm, he replies, “I am aware that the good things aren’t what’s upsetting you. However, in your current state, I believe it’s important for you to remember that there were some good parts of today.”
I instantly deflate. He deserves better than me lashing out at him when he’s gone out of his way to be here for me today. “I’m sorry. That was wrong of me. I can’t even believe I did that just now! Taking my anger out on others has never been my MO.It makes me feel too much like my mother. I just… There’s so much rage sitting on my chest right now. I don’t know what to do with it.” I lean forward, tucking my head between my knees, the shame I feel making me unable to look Doc in the eyes.
His steady voice reaches my ears despite my attempt at hiding. “While I appreciate your apology, please don’t beat yourself up over it. You had to re-traumatize yourself all over again today and relive the worst moments of your life. It’s only natural to react with the anger you felt then—the anger that would have only grown as the years passed. So why don’t we take a break from the anger for a little while? Tell me about the good.”
Have I mentioned how truly smart this man is? I wonder where I would be right now if he had come along sooner.Sitting up slowly, I nod. “Well, Teddy got me my favorite coffee. That was a nice surprise. Normally I get it iced, but he went with hot. It was nice to be warmed from the inside out after the interview. He’s real good about thinking of things like that.” I feel a fond smile spread across my face. “Oh! And you should have seen Max. She was like some Amazon warrior the way she stood up to that asshole of a detective.” My grin grows wider before I sober. “The lady detective…Amara. She was amazing. She made the terrible experience just a little less difficult. I don’t think I would have been able to make it all the way through the interview with anyone else.” My voice is barely more than a whisper, memories of the interview surfacing.
