“Okay.”
Cooper
I lean forward to kiss Teddy. His taste explodes across my tongue, and I’m filled with both excitement and apprehension. There’s nobody else in the world that I would be able to take this step with. I know he’ll be patient with me. I’m worried about having a negative reaction, but Teddy has shown me time and again how good he is at calming me down. My biggest fear, though, isn’t even about myself. I’m terrified that I’ll seriously hurt him. So we have to take this slowly.
I guide him back into a lying position and straddle his hips, wiggling slightly until I’m comfortable. He brings his hands up to rest on my sides, brushing his thumbs softly across the inch of exposed skin between my jeans and t-shirt. His warmth seeps into my skin, where it settles into my soul, soothing me.
After a deep breath, I pull my shirt up over my head and toss it on the floor. I’m too nervous to look Teddy in the eye. I know he’s seen my scars before, but this feels different. I tense slightly when his palm comes into contact with my stomach. Heimmediately pauses, but I just shake my head. “Keep going,” My voice is so quiet I’m not sure it can even be considered a whisper, just a quiet exhale.
He must hear me, though, because his fingers start to gently trace the scars on my stomach and chest. Leaning up, he places a reverent kiss to the jagged scar over my heart, and I suck in a breath. His right hand grips my hip, while his left hand continues to trail up my body until it’s resting against the side of my neck. His thumb gently brushes the underside of my jaw just before he says, “You’re absolutely beautiful, LB.” The breath I’d unknowingly been holding rushes out of me as my gaze snaps to his, and I’m dumbstruck by the sincerity shining in his eyes. Feeling emboldened, I remove my jeans before leaning in and recapturing his lips.
I take my time, learning the shape of his mouth and the way his tongue dances with mine. My hands glide along his sides, lifting his shirt. His skin is soft against my palms. When my thumb circles his nipple, he sucks in a sharp breath, back arching slightly.Hmmm.I dip my head and lick the tight bud. A small whimper escapes him, and his nails scrape across my skin. I smirk and then bite down, just hard enough to sting. The hoarse cry he releases makes me believe that maybe a little pain would be welcome.
I take my time teasing him. When I finally decide to move on, Teddy is a squirming mess beneath me, lust written all over his face. I can’t resist leaning in and kissing him again.
Feeling slightly awkward, I pretend to be distracted by kissing his neck. Truthfully, I just can’t look him in the eyes as I ask, “Did you bring any lube with you when you moved in?”
“Ah,” he coughs. “Um, yeah. Top drawer.” The flush spreading across his chest lets me know I’m not the only one feeling awkward now.
I climb up and over him, grabbing the offending bottle, absently noting that it’s barely been used, before burying it in the covers.Get a grip, Cooper! You are way too fucking old to be this embarrassed about fucking lube, of all things.I settle between his legs, and my hands drift to the waistband of his pants.God, this man sure knows how to wear a pair of jeans. It’s almost a shame to take them off him.I pop the button and peel them down his perfect tree-trunk thighs. Teddy is hairy, a true bear, and I absolutely love it. I kiss his soft belly. When I look up at him, I notice he’s not looking at me.
“Did I do something wrong?”Shit. I already fucked this up. I should have known better.I’m about to get up when his words stop me.
“No. It’s just… I know I’m not in the best shape. I keep meaning to start working out more, bu—” I lean up and slap my hand over his mouth before he can finish.
“Theodore Everett Davenport, Jr. You listen to me, and you listen to me real good. Your body is beautiful just the way it is. I love your softness. I’ll be so mad at you if you even think about getting rid of it, but your body is more than just the way it looks.” I grab his left hand and gently circle his wrist. “This part of you broke in order to protect me,” I say and place a kiss to his pulse point.
I kiss the outer corner of his eye. “This part of you has always seen me, even when nobody else did.” His lips are next. “This part of you has helped build my self-esteem and talked me down when I needed it.” Kissing both forearms, I say, “These have held me up when I was too weak to do it myself.” I save the middle of his chest for last. “This part. This is the most important part of you. This is the part that saves lives and showers everyone around you with kindness. This is the part of you that you gave me when we were just seven years old. This is the part that kept me going even on my darkest days. This is the part that beat forme when my own heart had given up.” I clasp his face in my hands and look him directly in the eye. I kiss the tears off his cheeks before I finish. “You are absolutely perfect. Inside and out. Don’t you ever let me hear you bad-mouthing the love of my life again.”
“The love of your life?” he rasps, and I realize I never said it back earlier.Time to rectify that.
“Yes,” I say with a gentle kiss. “I.”Kiss.“Love.”Kiss.“You.”Kiss.I pull back, repeating myself just to make sure it sinks in. “I love you, Theodore. I always have, and I always will.”
He pulls me down and seals our lips together. This kiss is heated and full of passion. I fumble around for the lube. Teddy trembles when he hears theclickof the top. “I got you,” I say as I pull back.
Looking down, I smile when I realize he still has his boxer briefs on. I got so distracted I forgot to finish undressing him.No time like the present.The bulge beneath his briefs is—impressive, to say the least.My man is definitely proportional.I pull his briefs down his legs, and his cock smacks against his stomach once it’s free.
The sight of him naked has my heart racing, and I start to shake. The last time a naked man was near me ended with me being violated and homeless.
“Hey,” Teddy says, voice calm and quiet. “We can stop. We don’t have to do this if it’s too much.”
I reach out blindly, needing to anchor myself. He sits up and envelops me in his arms, meeting my needs without having to be asked. Being wrapped up in him calms me faster than I thought possible.
“I’m okay. I just need a minute.”
He hugs me tighter and hums a song we used to love growing up. When my heart rate returns to normal, I find myself feeling a little embarrassed.I mean, seriously, what a way to ruinthe mood.I consider cutting my losses, but that feels too much like letting Silas win. Plus, a glance down reveals that my dick is clearly still on board.Shameless slut.I take the time to run through a mental inventory.
Seeing another naked body for the first time was definitely a shock. Now that I’ve had time to calm down, I’m able to keep in mind that this is Teddy’s body, nothis.I reach out and wrap my hand around his cock, pumping slowly.
He sucks in a breath, and his pupils blow wide. “Are you sure?” he asks. In response, I push him back down and reach for the bottle again. His legs spread for me as I squirt some of the lube on my fingers. I rub them together, trying to warm the cold liquid. Once I’m happy with the temperature, I circle his hole with my thumb. I continue this motion until he softens enough to let me in. Warmth surrounds my finger, and Teddy moans quietly.
I take my time opening him up. I’m average-sized at best, but I’m well acquainted with just how much average can hurt. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I focus back on the man below me. Teddy is sweating and panting by the time I’m satisfied with my prep. My hand moves to the waistband of my boxer briefs, and, of course, it’s at this moment that it hits me.I’m a fucking idiot.“Umm… I don’t have any condoms.”
“Oh… Uh… Me either. I’ve never needed to buy any,” he admits sheepishly.
I sit back on my heels, feeling dejected.
“Do we need them?”
