“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think ...” They are the only words I can find, and yet will never be enough. I didn’t think what? That my father wouldn’t do exactly what I feared? I regret the night I left her, I should have fought harder, I should have brought her with me somehow.
Anara climbs onto my lap, her fingers clutching my shirt, and locks her gaze with mine. Her eyes, tinged with red, make my heart ache, especially as I notice the blood pooling in the left one. She presses her lips against mine and instinctively I draw her closer, as if she is my lifeline. Beneath my fingertips she feels so delicate and her shoulders tremble.
She wraps her legs around my waist and her chest meets mine. “I need you ...” she whispers between breaths. “I need you to erase everything that happened since you left.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” It’s the truth. I cannot be the reason she takes on more damage. I can wait for her to heal. I can wait forever.
“If it hurts more than my want for you, I’ll let you know,” she echoes my words from not so long ago and smiles up at me. He may have tried to break her spirit, but I can see the strength behind her eyes. The chains between us clink and I look down as they glisten from the moonlight trickling in.
“He didn’t give me the key.” I pull her wrists up to my lips and kiss them as softly as I can, blood coating my lips from the open wounds.
“He won’t. Not now.” She sighs. “There’s a lot to discuss, but right now ... I just need you.” She runs her hands along the waistband of my pants, pulling my shirt up, and I help shuffle it over my head.
I lift her with ease, cradling her in my arms, before gently lying her back down on the cozy expanse of my bed. I hold her arms above her head, by the elbows, avoiding her wrists. Tenderly, I kiss her swollen eye and whisper, “Then you’ll have me.”
I slowly unlace my leather pants, before pushing them down. “If that’s what you need. I’ll remind you what it’s like to be worshiped.”
She moans just as my fingers skim the outside of her thigh. I lean down, peppering kisses along her bruise-ridden stomach. She shivers underneath my touch. I look up at her as I continue down to her core, silently asking for permission once again. She nods and I continue my journey lower down her body. I will give her pleasure, but I’ll have to control myself.
Licking up her slit, I feel her squirm beneath me, her hands lacing through my hair and pulling me further into her. As I spreadher with my fingers, the intoxicating scent of her fills the air. My tongue dances against her, my fingers circling her clit as her entire body caves to my touch, and her moans fill the air.
“More ... I need you inside me.”
I shake my head and look up at her, her back arched and her skin glistening with sweat already. I know what she’s asking, but if I get inside of her, I won’t be able to control myself.
“Anara, just let me give you this until your body heals.”
She pulls me up by my neck, and I lean on my forearms.
“Fuck me like you used to or don’t fuck me at all. You’ve never been gentle before, don’t be now. I’m not broken.” Anara grabs my chin, commanding my full attention — challenging me. “I know what I need, and right now, I need you to stop treating me as if I’m fragile and about to shatter. I told you I need you to make me forget —”
A growl escapes from me and I flip her over, running my hand through her hair, pulling tightly. Mymyach myom. Pulling her towards me and leaning down, I whisper in her ear, “This is what you want? You want to be withering underneath me. You want me to fuck you until you can’t stand, think, or even dream of anything but me being inside you?”
She pushes back against me, her ass making me swell more. Her breath raspy as she replies, “Yes.”
If she wants this—needs this—then I’ll be the one to give it to her. We’ve always found our love amid pain and darkness, and that’s what we will do now. I’ll take her pain and help her bear it.I grab a pillow and shove it underneath her. Her wrists need the break.
I grab her hips, digging deep into them, swapping bruises for bruises, and press into her as far as I can go. A whimper escapes her, and she pushes against me. Wanting more, needing more. I let go of her hair and wrap my hand around the back of her neck, pushing her into the pillow. I won’t last long, her warmth already pulsing around me.
I run my hand along the underside of her body, letting my fingers grip her nipple between them. I pull her up, her back against my front as I continue my pace inside of her. She cries my name and I don’t care if every soldier in this palace hears her scream it.
She’s mine, has been mine, and will always be mine.
“You were a fool to think she’s anything but ours.”The memory of my last words to the man who attacked Carnaxa flows abruptly through my thoughts. I bite down on my bottom lip, pushing the thoughts of Carnaxa from my mind. Not right now. I can’t think of her right now, not when Anara needs me.
It doesn’t work, and I remember the last few moons of memories and the love that has grown between us. The thought of Carnaxa’s kiss the night prior to returning to Shaston, and the way she danced under Thylas as he revered her, sends a flutter through me. The way she felt for those few moments I had her, and I want her here too. I want her here as much as I want Anara.
Anara grips the sheets and with a hard, final thrust from me, screams something in her language that I don’t understand as I let my seed fill her. I hold her still against me, nuzzling her neck, andtake in everything about this moment. This last moment before everything changes.
“What’s she like?” Anara lies with her head against my chest. I thread my fingers through hers and kiss her hairline.
“Not what I expected.”
“Most women aren’t. Your women of Shaston are taught to be quiet, to be still, and to say nothing that might upset another. But that’s not how we truly are — not in our hearts. We are bold and wild, and we just want to be heard.”
Anara looks away from me, trying to find words before she asks, “Did you sleep with her?”
She leans up and I cup her cheek. “No.”
