I roll my shoulders and hope the memories will disappear, even though I know they never will. They haunt me every day and I imagine will continue to do so even when Carnaxa wakes, if not more so. It would have served her better to let her keep believing me to be a monster. Now she’ll forever think somehow I can be that man again, the man she glimpsed. For a few nights, I thought I could be that version for her, but now I know I won’t have a choice.
three
Ereon
“Welcome home, Ereon.”
My father sits on his dark and twisted throne that once was an icon of beauty and grace — or so I’m told. I think it was always meant to evoke fear and malice. A full representation of the family I come from. I approach, thankful Carnaxa is still asleep so she doesn’t have to see him first. My father will be angry and I want to shoulder the punishment rather than it be directed at her.
“Father.” I kneel in front of the dais. My eyes dart anxiously from left to right, desperately searching for a glimpseof Anara. I kept my promise, my bargain. As I enter I expect to see him with her by his side, just to further taunt me. Since she’s not here, my worry intensifies as I ponder where he might be keeping her.
“Your whore is in your room. But the important question is, where is your lovely betrothed? And why do you not wear your crown? Are you ashamed of your kingdom?”
I cringe at the way he describes Anara, but I bite my tongue to keep from correcting him. I’ve survived as long as I have by being compliant — it shouldn’t be any different now. I knew better than
to come into this throne room without my crown, but I just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible and the adornment slipped my mind. The garish crown he has me wear is tarnished black with a hint of silver that rarely shines through; it’s uncomfortable, but he loves to see the garish headpiece toted around since it is a mirror image of his. I take a deep breath, ready to face him, and rise.
“Princess Carnaxa Althister of Antalis is being taken to her chambers since she has still not awoken from the incident on our trip here. I know you are aware of the madness ensuing since we arrived back within the Shaston borders. I believe whatever happened affected the Princess more than the rest of us.” I keep my voice steady, not wanting him to realize I have feelings for her. He would just use her as he has Anara, to keep me in line. I can’t let him know that I am in love with her.
He holds a gold chalice and slowly takes a drink, swirling the liquid in the cup before taking another. His eyes search mine. The deep green that many don’t know is there, peeking out. To most,his eyes appear black, but I can remember as a young child the times he would peer at me with those green eyes — almost as if he loved me. Over the years, they have darkened along with his demeanor. When I was a child, my mother spoke of how she would pray that my eyes would not be like my father’s.
“Yes ... that was” — he smirks and clicks his tongue — “unfortunate. Which reminds me, those who came with you from Antalis are now being held until we can find the source of the madness that was brought with them.”
As he locks eyes with me, I want to snarl but repress it. Of course, he would find a reason to keep the Antalians from being around. The shadowy hue of his hair seems to deepen, accentuating the intensity in his gaze, which would undoubtedly intimidate anyone else — and maybe it should terrify me, too. My father frightens me because of the things he can do to others I care for, but not for myself. I will bear anything he does if it keeps them safe, even if it’s the only thing I can offer.
“I’m assuming no one knows what happened yet. I’ve heard thekhindtook over Midaeliea shortly after you passed through the Cartilen Mountains, and the poor Antalians are becoming sicker by the day. King Clennom has secluded himself, the coward.” He tilts his head, mimicking an owl in a tree. “Finally, the man will realize what it truly is like when their bitch of a goddess leaves them.” He motions with his hand to the door. “Go on, I’ll speak to you more later.”
I bow, acknowledging the dismissal, but he interjects before I can make my way out, “By the way, Ereon, I hope you informedthe little princess about what is expected of her at the ceremony. Which we will hold as soon as she wakes.”
This catches my attention. “The ceremony won’t be necessary. I got her here. We are to be married by our priest. I already took her maidenhood. My men can attest to it.” Thylas was the one who holds the honor, but my father doesn’t need to know the truth. No one does. And from the whispers of my men, they know I was there too and that’s what matters.
“The ceremony is an important part of Shaston’s history, boy. Of course, we will have the ceremony. It’s a rite of passage. It has been this way since the beginning. I will not let you break tradition. I doubt you did the full ceremony, considering the snake is here in Shaston for theplal ryow. So tell me how you believe the ceremony was done appropriately?”
I suck on my teeth. “Well, I didn’t thinkthatpart would be necessary since I already claimed her maidenhood on the journey here. I thought that was the priority ofNle Shom.” I knew when I started this journey what he expected. I thought I would be fine with going along with it, but I can’t do that to her. Not now. Watching as her very soul rippled toward me and mine ebbed in response — I haven’t experienced such a sight with Anara. When I found Anara, I knew I was in love, a connection so strong I never even tried to touch another. Until Carnaxa.
“Father, I mean no disrespect.” I step towards him, his guards grab their pummels on their hips and step between us. I glare at them as I say, “I don’t see what the point of the ceremony is at this point. She’s here. She’ll be my wife. We can do the marriageceremony and be done. There is no reason to have a show of everything. You’ve already won.”
“I’m not the one who has to prove anything — you do. Prove to everyone you are the son I brought you up to be. If you do anything to get out of the ceremony ... it’ll be the beautiful piece in your room who pays the price.” He smirks and looks off into the distance before he turns his attention back to me. “Oh, how the whore’s body trembled when we would have our time together. Don’t worry though, I think she’s still in one piece for you.”
As I clench my jaw, the sound of my grinding teeth fills my ears. My fists tighten against my thighs, begging to reach behind me and grab the swords there. He touched her. He promised he wouldn’t. We made the deal, and I was dumb enough to believe it, but what choice did I have? I feared he would do something, but the thought of her beautiful skin under his has me ready to fight him now. Something I should have done long before now. Could I? Could I kill him before his men kill me?
“Careful, Ereon.” He stands up, throwing the cup across the floor. The dark purple wine stains the sand-colored floor. As our eyes lock, a fiery sensation spreads throughout my body, intensifying with each passing second. I collapse onto the floor, feeling the cold, hard surface against my knees. I can’t breathe like before, but this isn’t like when we crossed into Shaston. This is different. Although the flames remain unseen, their burning heat brushes against my skin, leaving invisible scorch marks. Just as quickly as it began, it stops.
My father’s chilling laughter fills the room. “Things have changed since you’ve been gone and things are about to change even more.”
He turns and walks away and I’m left wondering what the fuck just happened.
My room is shrouded in darkness, except for the figure lying in my bed as I enter. She’s wrapped in the black silk sheet that covers my bed. With a swift motion, I release my curved blades from my back, letting them clatter to the ground, and make my way quickly towards the bed. I want to feel her skin against mine. I need to, but I need to see how she has fared since I left. As I walk to her, she doesn’t stir. My heart panics. Has he killed her? Did I misunderstand what was said in the throne room? Is this a new way to torture me, since he’ll soon have Carnaxa to hold over my head? That’s why he can’t ever know I care. He can’t ever know how I feel.
“Anara?” Dread fills my voice.
As my breaths quicken, she slowly turns to face me and it’s then I notice the damage I’ve inadvertently caused her just because she loves me.
“Myach myom, what has he done to you?” I gently pull down the sheet and see bruises covering her face. Her eye is swollen, her smile lopsided. Her body is scarred with whip marks and burns, and her wrists are nearly infected from the obsidian chains.
I reach out towards her, unsure of where I am supposed to touch her when she looks like she might crumble beneath my fingertips.
She smiles as tears brim her eyes and swiftly wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me into her. Her tears fall onto my chest as she buries her head there. “You’re here.” She smells of the perfume my father forces his women to use, but underneath the scent is the stench of stale air, piss, and blood. She’s been in the dungeons. Her hair, the color of bark, feels soft and comforting as I run my hand through it, tears streaming down my face. I won’t hide my emotions from her, not here, not now.
