“And what is that?”
“You are too formal in your fighting. You still care too much about rules and proper fighting etiquette. You don't know how to fight dirty, how a battle would be fought if you found yourself in one. You'll have to learn to throw punches, throw sand, whatever you need to do to survive. I've been telling you this since you came into my arena, nothing but long arms and skinny legs.”
I turn toward him and he looks in Ereon’s direction. “I know why the two of you are fighting and I'm telling you to stop. No matter how many times you win the sparring match, she cannot be yours and you should watch your eyes when you are around her, your eyes will always betray you.”
Gathering a bit of water in my hand I run it along my face, wincing as it touches the cut on my cheek. Rhenor treads the line between friend and father figure. King Clennom might have letme remain inside Antalis and become a part of theKe Neye,but it was Rhenor who was there for me after the whipping, when my trust with King Clennom was broken.
“Don't you think I know that? I am well aware of what I can and cannot have. I know she's a weakness.”
He leans in close to me, intent I understand him, “She's not your weakness, she is your strength. She is everything to you, but you can't let that get in the way of what has to happen here. And why do I have to remind you? Because the marks Carnaxa has been trying hard all day to hide are evidently not of her own doing.”
Kosæ!I had seen them and just hoped that everyone thought ... I don't know what I had hoped they thought. Leaving her that night was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. For hours I could smell her on me, still taste her on my tongue.
“It was a mistake,” is all I can say. What else can be said? I could easily be slaughtered if the Prince found out my hands had been on his betrothed. That my fingers had been inside her, that I had almost taken her for myself.
“Mistake or not, you need to get yourself under control. We are far from home and I can't protect you here. Not like I could in Antalis. You need to be smart. If you have her, remember you'll have to let her go.”
“She's never been with someone ...” the words slip from my lips in almost a whisper, a secret meant for only his ears.
He straightens and realizes what I could have done. “Does Ereon know this?”
I shake my head at him. “Not that I know.”
Rhenor nods his head. “Leave her be then, Thylas. If Ereon was to find out she was untouched and that you took her maidenhood from her … He won't allow you in his kingdom. You know this. You know the culture of Shaston is harsh. Don't put her in a position where she has to choose.”
“But what if her choice is me?” I shouldn't have even let the words leave my mouth. It's a constant battle of head and heart. What I shouldn't do, what I want.
“Don't ruin her life, don't make it a choice. Ignore the feelings you have for her.”
“Could you have ignored your feelings for Balenia?”
I know I shouldn't speak of her. His first wife was his twin drop and yet had an illness inside her head. She was from the Southern Continent, and not of Antalis blood and therefore, not blessed. She often dreamt of magic that is no longer in this world, and of creatures with tales and wings, monsters birthed from fire. The more the images in her head attacked her, the more she pleaded for the Goddess to take her home. Eventually, the Goddess did, she called her home and Balenia walked into the waves like any Antalian, a smile on her face. I remember the pain Rhenor experienced in the ring after her death. I was a young man, but I remember watching him crush many soldiers in the sparring ring. He finally seems happy once again, despite losing his drop. Despite her being gone from this world. He's found love again with someone else, maybe not the same as it once was. But it's there.
“She wouldn't have let me. She figured it out first. I was the one who took my sweet time maturing to realize what the ebb toward her was. You know, twin drops are like that, they have an echo of sorts. I've never once heard you say you have an ebb toward Carnaxa like that. I'll say it again. Don't ruin her by confusing her. Carnaxa does not have the luxury to let her heart lead, and neither do you.”
I see Ereon walking toward me in my periphery, one of his guards behind him. “BêlRhenor.” He inclines his head slightly, as Rhenor bows deep in front of him. “It seems we’re needed to discuss the road ahead. We will continue our match later Captain, but for now, we have to figure out how to keep thewomen in our party safe. Gather your men and meet with me and my soldiers in the council tent in a few moments.”
And then he walks away. His walk is one of determination and strength. If I didn't despise him so much I might have even looked up to him for the power he seems to exhale upon every breath. If it wasn't for his homeland, how his society treats women, I’d feel better about letting her go. But I do not trust him, not yet. I still believe he will always choose his kingdom over her.
“Just keep my words in mind, Thylas. Balenia and I were in a different situation. A different time.”
His words hurt deep inside, I know I've not had that pull toward her. Not in the same way he's speaking of, I used to hope it was because she wasn't acknowledging the current between us. But I love her just as much as anyone can. I would die for her and she wouldn't even have to ask. However, I know I'll never find a twin drop, that is for those of Antalian blood and Rhenor forgets sometimes that I am not. Or maybe it's not forgetfulness but hope that the Goddess will bless me anyway, she used to do that for even those, not of Her blessed bloodline. But he knows as well as I do, drops are rare even for those in Antalis, why would the Goddess bless an orphan not of Her shores.
Rhenor pats my shoulder before we make our way to the council tent.
“The main issue getting through the Cartilen Mountains will be something the Shastonians callkhind,” Lelfai?t, my commander and for overall purposes unofficial scholar, addresses the room.
“And what exactly are they?” I ask. I've heard tales of these beasts, but it's best to get the real story before giving into gossip. Men who had long journeys usually like to exaggerate what theyhad to overcome to get to their destination, which they think makes the women more eager to jump into bed with them.
“Terrible creatures. Taller than three horses if they stood atop each other. Similar to a wolf in appearance with bear-like paws and flames along the tips of their fur. They are black as the shadows, and their howl sounds like a woman crying but their growl is more akin to a lion.”
That description is exactly as horrible as the gossip I’ve been told of them.
“And how do we defeat them? It's been some time since I've made this journey. I've heard there are more now,” Rhenor asks, standing beside me, his right hand rests on the pommel of his sword, but a small look of fear flashes across his eyes. Of course, it does, his wife and child are among those we must protect. He's battled these creatures once, the scar across his left bicep, evidence of that journey.
“It's hard,” Ereon states, standing to my left. As much as I hate being in a room full of so many Shastonians and their opinions, it's imperative we come to an understanding about the rest of the journey, plus this is my life now. “Not impossible, but hard. As mentioned, they are large and powerful, their fur can't even be touched unless you want to return with a smoldering limb. The only sure way is to stab them in the brain or heart just like any other animal. Their advantage is that they usually stay hidden among the mountains and rarely come out during the day, especially when the sun is high. We have made the trip with zero sightings before.”
“And how many days does it take to travel through the pass?”
