twenty-four
CARNAXA
Images of Thylas and Lanie assault me as I pace my room. The sun is slowly setting in the distance creating a beautiful display of pinks and oranges. My heart pulses as the anger and jealousy take over me once again. His grunt of reaching his peak and his hands wrapped in her hair plays on an instant loop. The look of desire that flickered through his emerald eyes at that moment. Does he not want me anymore? This is not a feeling I'm used to and one I don't like.
Sitting on the edge of my bed I push my hair back from my face. I want to be Lanie, I want to be the one with his essence flowing down my throat, and I want his strong hands wrapped in my hair. I shake my head and pace the room. This cannot be, we cannot be. He stopped us before, he's the one who pushed me away. He is the one who accepts that we can't be. And why shouldn't he? I'm betrothed to another, I will marry another. I will marry Ereon.
He claimed Ereon sent her, but I didn't see Ereon with his pants down. Thylas just needed an excuse to get his dick sucked. I know firsthand that pleasure from yourself can only get you so far. I still thought something between us was real. Maybe. I don't know anything anymore it seems like. My emotions feel tangled up reconciling the way Thylas is hot and cold in his interactions with me, the way Ereon is charming and yet rumors come and go of his cruelty. I thought everything that happened between Thylas and me meant more, but obviously, it didn't. Running my sweaty palms down my dress, I sigh deeply, I hate this. I hate all of it.
I wasn't happy when I was told I would be married to Ereon, but I have come to accept it. Then Thylas’ behavior changed the night of the festival. He had me wanting more, wanting him. To go from years of perfect behavior to abandoning it all ... am I just a conquest? He's never been one to put feelings before duty and now because of Ereon he does? Perhaps he never wanted me until someone else held the title of being mine.
I don't have time for this, Queen Natala will be expecting me at dinner soon. I roll my shoulders at the thought of seeing Thylas. I don't want to see him, my heart can't take it anymore. As much as I want to follow my heart, I know I must continue forward with my betrothal, for my kingdom.
The dining room is full of people as I walk in. The square, large, ornate doors open before me into an opulent room full of Midaeliea’s royal court, dressed in a multitude of colors. There are wooden tables placed about the room full of different foods, some I have never seen before. Many square windows let the setting sun's light in and cast rainbows about the room. Thylas is already sitting on the Queen's left, a seat in the middle between them for me. To the King's right sits Ereon. His dark eyes are already on me as I enter the room, searching me from the top of my silver crown, to the curves that the deep-green, lace gown shows, to the tips of my toes that peek out my sandals. Thylas keeps his attention on the Queen, who seems to be telling a story — one of fascination as his eyes never leave hers.
My stomach clenches and nausea flows through me, he's probably trying to find his way into her bed as well. My heels click against the wooden floors as I glide across. Blushing, I look down. I didn't realize that I was the last one here. Great first impression, I forgot their names and now, I'm late.
“Princess Carnaxa,” Queen Natala's voice rings like a song through the room. “Don't think you’re late. Everyone got here early.” She smiles at me as one of her guards pulls back the dark, oak chair beside her.
“I thought to arrive early, apparently everyone else thought the same.” I sit down as a guard pulls out the chair for me.
“Everyone arrives early, they all want Mrs. Prinstean's special rolls. Don't worry, I saved some for you.” Her deep-green hair is wound tight into a high bun on the top of her head. Her dark-black dress clings to her thick, voluptuous frame. She has painted gold across her collarbones and in between her large breasts. She looks like a goddess walking among us.
Deciding that food can help take the edge off the nausea blooming in my gut, I take a bite of a sweet roll she places on my plate, the butter drips from it onto my lips as I lick them clean.Thylas inhales deeply and I can't help but give him a glance. His deep-green eyes focus on my lips and I know I shouldn't taunt him but I lick them again just to hear his inhale.
His hand grips my knee and his eyes meet mine. Sorrow fills his eyes, but I no longer have time for his game. I run my hand along his before casting it off and give him a “what” face and roll my eyes before grabbing strawberries, roasted meat of some sort, and another one of Mrs. Prinstean's rolls because they really are delicious.
“How are you finding Midaeliea, Princess Carnaxa?” the Queen calls my attention back.
“Well, my cousin and I went into the village today, it reminds me a lot of home. Peaceful. And your people seem very happy.”
She smiles and takes a spoonful of the soup in front of her. Where did she get that because it looks delicious? I look around the table, maybe that's something special for her because I can't see it.
“Oh, that's what I love to hear. The Goddess did intend for us to be the peacekeepers of the Northern Continent, and it's a responsibility we take seriously. We can't help other kingdoms if we don't set an example.”
Prince Ereon meets my eye and winks at me, his smile creasing his face and showing his dimples, while Thylas' once again finds his hand on my knee. I squeeze my knees together, smashing his fingers and he jerks his hand back. I turn toward him and mouth, “What are you doing?”
He's never been one to show affection in such a way, and here is not the place. He shakes his hand before leaning in and whispering in my ear, “We need to talk.”
I roll my eyes. “Not right now we don't.”
Siphonie and Rhenor come in through the doors, smiling and laughing like they know a secret everyone else is unaware of. By the look of Siphonie's brow and Rhenor's usual pristine clothingnow rumpled, I'm assuming they found time to find each other this afternoon.
Rhenor takes a seat beside Thylas and Siphonie sits beside him. She smiles at me before grasping the cup of water before her. Thylas leans over and whispers something to Rhenor that I can't hear. Rhenor tries to hide a laugh under a fake cough.
“Happy you could make itBêlRhenor andBêlitSiphonie,” the Queen greets them, a knowing smirk on her face.
“I'm sorry for our late arrival, we let time get away from us,” Rhenor says simply before loading his plate full of meat.
“No need for apologies, we all know well enough, when you're having fun, time is known to disappear.” The Queen winks – actually winks at them – before taking a sip of her wine.
Siphonie chokes a bit on her water as her face hints with pink in embarrassment. Rhenor just smiles and shakes his head, a youthful look of pleasure and pride displaying across his features .
“Princess Carnaxa,” the Queen garners my attention once again. “If you are feeling up to it, I would love to have you join me in the gardens tomorrow before you all depart for the remainder of your journey.BêlitSiphonie, you can join us if you’d like. I would like to have my own time with the ladies of Antalis.”
“I would be honored,” Siphonie and I agree at the same time.
Dinner continues on with idle chatter between us all. Thylas stops trying to speak to me, but I feel Ereon's eyes on me often during the night. Every time I feel his stare, I look up to see him smiling at me before turning away. His smile is subtle, but it is there.
