Grady and I look at each other at the same time. I fight a blush, and Grady stands up, rubbing his palms on his pants before reaching for Declan’s hand. “I gotta go, so I’m well rested for the game tomorrow. Thank you so much for having us over.”
I stand too and thank them both. I can’t help but notice that while Declan shakes Grady’s hand, Abbott pulls him in for a hug. Both men shake my hand. Watching Abbott hug Grady annoys me, which is wildly inappropriate, and I know it.
As we walk down the dark street after saying goodbye, Grady’s steps are faster and longer than mine, so I find myself fighting to keep up. Finally, I just give up and let him walk ahead. But when he gets to the stop sign, he turns to wait. I stare at him, my gut churning with jealousy I don’t have a right to have. “Why does Abbott know you’re gay?”
He looks stunned, like he definitely wasn’t expecting that. “I… I was just going to ask you if you wanted to come see my place. You haven’t seen it yet.”
I was hoping that’s how tonight would end. Or that he’d come back to the cottage. We haven’t been together since the night in Beverly Hills. When we got back from that road trip, we had two days off, and Grady explained his mom asked him to come home for his grandmother’s birthday. He just got back today in time for morning practice.
“I thought you were in the closet.”
“He’s gay.”
“So… you told him because of that?”
Grady makes a face, and that delicious meal in my gut starts to spoil. “Landon, do you want to come to my place or not?”
“Why are you in the closet?” I ask, ignoring his question. “I mean, your family seems pretty liberal and loving. And supportive.”
“The Garrison are,” he says and shoves his hands in his pockets. “It’s freezing. Can we move?”
Without waiting for an answer, he continues walking. I walk beside him, careful of the icy patches. A few steps down the road, he speaks again. “My sexuality is my own. I’m not a franchise player. I’m a middle-of-the-pack goalie who is expendable. I don’t even really have the hockey legacy to prop me up.”
“Yeah, you do. Your last name is legendary.”
“Because of my uncles, not my dad. I’m still out here trying to prove my branch deserves to be on this family tree,” he replies. “If there’s anything at all that makes me seem like a hassle or liability or even a mild annoyance, I’m not gonna be traded. Because no one will pick me up.”
“So you’ve put your love life on hold so that you can continue to have a career on the off chance that there’s some homophobic team owners out there who wouldn’t bother attaching themselves to a Cup-winning goalie if he was gay.”
“Are you judging me?”
“I’m trying to understand you.”
“If it’s not a big deal, why don’t you tell people you like guys?” Grady asks, and his tone is hard.
“Because I don’t like guys, I like you,” I reply calmly. “And I guess the only person I can talk to about that would be our captain because he’s the only one who knows you’re gay.”
The air clouds between us, and Grady huffs out an angry sigh. My street is to the right, Grady’s apartment is four blocks farther east. “It’s late. I’m tired. I’ll see you at the rink tomorrow.”
I watch him walk away and try not to choke on the feelings clogging my throat. Like anger that I fucked up the night and jealousy that, I think, my captain has seen my crush naked and done all the things to him that I haven’t had a chance to… and now may never get to do.
Chapter 20
Grady
I’m freezing my balls off, but Shelby wants to see the beach with snow. I tried to explain to her it’s like the lake with snow, which she sees from her damn house in Silver Bay, but she insisted. So here we are, staring at the fucking waves hitting the snow-covered sand while wind that feels like it has icicles in it smacks my face, clinging to my beard.
“Happy now? Can we go? I’m going to get frostbite.”
Shelby rolls her eyes. She’s probably frowning too, but I can’t see her mouth because she has this giant knitted scarf wrapped around her from the bottom of her neck to the tip of her nose. “That beard is probably thicker than this scarf. Man up.”
I turn and start toward the boardwalk. The closer I get, the deeper the snow. And then I hear a squeak behind me and look over my shoulder and see Shelby with one leg thigh-deep in a snow bank. I laugh. She lifts a hand at me, and I think she’s trying to flip me the middle finger. I turn back and grab her arms and yank, lifting her up and into a fireman’s carry.
“Grady! What the actual fuck?”
“I’m not freezing to death waiting for you,” I grumble. Thankfully, she doesn’t argue. The added weight means I sink with every step, too, but my legs are much longer and I get us to the wooden boardwalk that leads down to my apartment.
I put her down, and she smacks my arm but says, “Thanks.”
