“I hear they’re like someone turning your blood to gasoline and lighting a match in your heart,” Mayhem says, her eyes never lifting from the page she’s reading.
“Yes. Only worse.” Mom sighs.
“Are you in perimenopause?” Tenley asks.
“Full-on menopause,” Mom replies. “And it’s hell. I actually had a hot flash during sex the other day. Threw your father right off of me and ran to the window for air. Thought I would literally burst into flames.”
“Like I wish I could after hearing that story,” Mayhem says and squeezes her eyes shut.
"TMI Mother! Seriously.” I groan and flip the eggs in the pan with a flourishing swoop of the pan.
Tenley whistles, impressed. Mom has seen my cooking skills a million times before so she says nothing and sticks to the topic. “Relax, baby. I’m lucky I still have a sex drive. A lot of women lose that with menopause.”
“You better find yours soon, Liv, before it’s gone.”
Great. Now Mayhem is jumping on the make-fun-of-Olivia train. That’s a new twist and I don’t like it. “Says the girl who gets her only romance from paperbacks.”
“I work with hot sweaty men every single day,” Mayhem counters. “Eye candy is enough at the moment. Plus it’s hard to find a date when you’re the only chick on the men’s team. College boys have such fragile egos the last thing they want to do is woo the woman who can bench press them, or who pals around with the biggest, toughest guys on campus.”
“You keep doing you, Mayhem,” Mom says proudly as she continues to fan herself. “I was the scariest girl in Silver Bay and landed the best man in town so don’t dim your light for anyone.”
I carefully plop a perfectly cooked feta fried egg on top of each of the toasted sourdough slices slathered in Tenley’s famous smashed avocado and tomato with Everything Bagel seasoning and homemade hot sauce. Then I drop the plates on the peninsula in front of my mom and the empty seats. I stand on the other side to eat mine, since we only have three bar stools. Mayhem abandons her book on the swinging chair and joins us.
We chat about life. Mom updates us on the latest with the extended family and I'm shocked and pleased to learn my brother Conner is shopping for engagement rings for his girlfriend Mac. Mom is teary-eyed as she explains. "He's between two different rings, but he won't ask my advice. He does however have lengthy calls with your dad as he strategizes how to ask her. He doesn't want it to be a big deal but he doesn't want it to be a small deal either. And he's working on the courage to ask Alex for permission."
"Ugh. That's so archaic," Tenley groans. "I'm not the property of Jordan Garrison. My husband isn't asking permission."
“It’s a symbolic thing,” Mom argues. “And as someone who didn’t have a dad to ask, I thought it was absolutely adorable when your dad asked for my permission to marry Jessie. Well, he didn’t so much ask as tell me it was going to happen and please do not kill him.”
We all laugh because that is so on-brand for the aggressive but oddly loving relationship Mom has with Uncle Jordan. Tenley is still frowning though.
“Ten, Uncle J will literally murder a dude who doesn’t show that level of respect but intends to marry you. You know it.”
“What if I elope?”
Mom gasps like Tenley just confessed to murder and drops her fork with a dramatic clang. She points at Tenley first but then her finger moves to each of us. “Not one of you should ever entertain the idea of an elopement. Garrison weddings are magical, joyous events and we will not be denied one. We’re too close a group to exclude each other from important life events.”
“I don’t think it’s that big a deal,” Tenley mutters and shoves food into her mouth, chewing aggressively. She swallows her bite. “What if it’s just a starter marriage? It won’t even count so you guys don’t have to be there.”
“Who in this family would go into a marriage knowing it won’t last?” Mom asks. “It’s such a huge financial and legal thing not to mention it’s sacred. I was so scared of the emotional significance I didn’t ever want to do it.”
“It doesn’t always have to be emotional.”
"Yes Tenley it does," Mom counters. "You won't understand that until you do it, but that's fine. You will figure it out one day. Do it right the first time and there are no regrets. And even if the marriage ends up ending, like Devin's marriage to Conner's mom, we’re all still glad there was a big family wedding because Conner can look back on those pictures and see the love.”
I think about that as I sip my coffee and slice into my avocado toast again to devour the last few bites. Am I about to become an Ashleigh? Can I handle it if Crew starts dating Shelby? I was up half the night mulling over the feelings that swirled inside me after that tidbit was dropped like a lead balloon. Up until that moment, I thought I was very cool with everything that had happened with Crew. And I was even convincing myself that if we hooked up one or two more times, it would be okay. Good, even. And that I could do that—him—a few more times and stay chill about it. Crew made it clear he doesn’t date, so that was off the table but it wasn’t just off the table for me, which made it comforting. It made it okay. But now I hear he’s interested in dating someone who isn’t me and it hurts. The fact that the person he is interested in was a relative makes it way worse, of course. And I am both horrified and angry at him. I mean, it would be like me dating Nash. How insanely inappropriate and uncomfortable would that be?
“Livvy why did your whole face just go dark?” Mom is way too in tune with me. I used to love it when I was little and she could read me like a book. Now, not so much. “See? Something is going on. Talk to me, Goose.”
“I do not understand why you would call me Goose.”
“You need to watchTop Gun.”
“Miles Teller is so freaking hot in that," Tenley interjects and makes a chef's kiss gesture with her lips and hand. "That's my type. Tall, dark, handsome. Fighter pilot, not a stupid hockey player. Emotional. Not a robot. Hey, we should go to San Diego and hang out at a bar by the airbase. Catch ourselves some real-life Miles Tellers. Who's in?"
“Miles Teller isnotinTop Gun,” Mom corrects and rolls her eyes as she pops some toast into her mouth. “He was in the sequel. Watch the original. And getting back on topic, I need some alone time with my baby girlnumero uno. You two make yourself scarce when breakfast is done.”
“I have to go to campus anyway and discuss my final grade with my teacher,” Tenley says as she licks her now empty fork and hops off the stool, carrying her plate to the sink.
