“The job feels dirty now,” I admit. “I mean, it was this reward for something that turned out not to be a job. Taking it feels, disingenuous. And like it cheapens this thing with Gabe.”
“It cheapens nothing,” Billy assures me. “But if you don’t want it, don’t take it. You will find something else, Axe. You are great at what you do.”
"Thanks." I smile. Hearing Billy say it makes me feel lighter. I can, and I will, turn down the position. I have the condo sale money to float on if I don't find a position right away. I'll be okay.
Billy stands up. “That’s it? No meltdown about how I just told you that Gabriel loves you and is perfect for you and you should fight like hell for him because putting yourself out there this time will actually be worth it?”
I stand up too. "Well, actually you didn't say that last part until now. And so yeah, that freaks me out a little bit. I've always been shit with judgment when it comes to men."
"I'm not asking you to follow your judgment, Axe. I'm telling you to follow mine," Billy announces and grins like the egomaniac he always pretends to be. "I'm never wrong."
“Oh you are wrong probably about four hundred times a day,” I assure him. “But you aren’t wrong about Gabe. I know that. Iamgoing to fight for this. For him. I just… needed to know you were in my corner.”
“Always. Bring it in.” Billy grabs me in a bro-hug.
I laugh and push him away. “Be safe out there, asshole.”
“I’ll try.” Billy smiles.
I head out of his room and the Mirabella paddock and walk halfway down the row to the Mayflower paddock. I’m not looking for Gabe. He’s got practice. Now is not the time to profess my feelings. But I’m hoping to catch Louis. I find him in the corner of the cafeteria with Henri, both with lattes in their hands and glued to a laptop. Henri notices me first as I approach. He gives me a polite smile. “Hey, Axel. We were just finalizing the press release.”
“What press release?” I ask even though I already know what press release.
“The one announcing your split,” Henri says simply. “Don’t worry, it’s very standard. Amicable, friends, respect, all the good words are in there. Also, we are holding off on announcing your role at the UK office until maybe a month from now. Just so it doesn’t look like it was a bribe or something.”
“Yeah. About that…” I swallow. I was really hoping to do this privately with Louis but it is what it is. I take a deep breath and roll my thumb over my commitment band. “I am respectfully turning down the job in London. But please know I am very grateful for the opportunity.”
Henri looks like he's been slapped. But when my eyes shift to Louis, he's smiling softly. Henri closes the laptop. "I'm confused."
“It’s a dream job, but honestly, I don’t want a reward for being with Gabriel. Because I wasn’t faking it. It wasn’t some job. I fell in love with him and I just… I mean I don’t know what is going to happen with us, maybe nothing. But I just don’t want the job this way. So thank you. But I am rejecting the position.”
“Henri, can you give us a moments’il te plait?” Louis says, still smiling, still looking just at me.
Henri picks up his laptop and walks away without a word. Louis uses the toe of his expensive loafer to push the now vacant chair toward me. “Sit.”
I sit. He leans forward, toward me. “It’s not maybe nothing.”
“Pardon?”
“What’s going to happen between you. What’s already happened. It’s not nothing,” Louis assures me. “I knew that before I saw that condom wrapper on the bedroom floor.”
I explode in a flush, and Louis just smirks. “I’m glad you feel so strongly about my son, but you don’t have to give up the job.”
“It feels right.”
“Okay, well, once you work this out, the two of you, I will help you find another job,” Louis tells me. “I have contacts everywhere and I would be happy to refer you.”
“Thank you.”
He stands so I do too, and he shakes my hand and then pulls me close and kisses each of my cheeks. “I’m going to watch the practice in the garage. Would you like to join me?”
I shake my head. "No, I'm going to head back to the hotel and wait for him there."
We walk to the entrance of the cafeteria together. “That press release Henri is working on…”
"Nothing gets released without my sign-off. And I am not signing off," Louis assures me. "Not yet. I have faith in you two."
“Thank you. Again.”
