We step outside into the small lane where all the paddocks are lined up, with the track just a few hundred yards away and I change my mind. “I’ll go with you.”
When we get to the garage, the practice session has already started. They go out at different times. Without the stress of having to set times that count, the mood in the garage is chill. Gabe is already in his car when we get there. All I can see are his eyes since his visor is up, but they light up when he sees me. I give him a small wave and follow Louis over to a monitor.
It may be one of my last times here, so I’m not hiding in a corner. Adam, his lead mechanic, walks over as Gabe’s car starts down the pit lane. He holds his hand out toward me, Gabe’s ring is in between his thumb and forefinger.
“Gabriel asked me to give this to you.” My heart seizes. “He said you should hold onto it while he’s in the car. He doesn’t want to get fined but he doesn’t want to lose it either.”
Oh. Thank God.
I take it and push it onto my other ring finger. It feels odd and a little tight, but I don’t care. Louis hands me some headphones. “You’ll hear the radio talk with these.”
I slip them on and we watch the monitor. Gabriel is on his fourth lap when something happens. I don't know what because it's so quick. One minute he's on the track, starting a curve, and the next, the car is a blur of red, white, and blue, gravel is flying everywhere, dust obscures the cameras, black lines scar the pavement, and there's a crash. He's in the wall. Literally. His front end wedged under a barricade plastered with a sponsor's logos.
Every cell in my body seizes. My blood grows cold and it feels like all the oxygen has left earth. My lungs are empty. A voice on the radio echoes in my ears.
“Are you alright? Allard?”
It’s seconds. Two. Maybe three. But they are the longest moments of my life. They feel like hours.
“Yeah. Fine. Sorry. I completely misread the turn. Sorry.”
He sounds like he tapped a bumper in a parking lot, not like he smoked a wall at over a hundred kilometers an hour. I steal a glance at Louis. His mouth is set in a grim line, but he’s breathing evenly. He looks up at me. “I’d like to say you get used to it, but you don’t. However, you learn to live with it.”
Oh my God, this is not going to be easy. Luckily I already know it’s worth it.
31AXEL
He’s fine.I know this. I saw him get out of the car all by himself, without a problem. He took off his helmet and hopped on the back of a scooter and even waved to fans as they passed by the stands. He is perfectly fine. But it’s not until he steps into the garage that my blood starts circulating and my heart starts beating again, I swear.
And all I want to do is rush over to him and hug him, feel that he’s okay with my own hands, but I can’t. I know that and I’m able to control my ridiculous, lovesick urges. He’s out for the rest of practice now. They’ll need to work on his car all night to get it ready for qualifying. Bob seems annoyed, Gabe seems disappointed, but all is well. This is normal, right? God this sport scares the shit out of me.
Finally, he makes his way to me. His dad squeezes his shoulder and leaves without a word. Gabe looks up at me. "Hey. I'm glad you came. Sorry, I didn't exactly give you much to watch."
“Oh you gave me a lot to watch,” I reply and fight the urge to touch him. Not here. Not now. “Nothing I enjoyed. Or want to see again. But yeah, it was something.”
Gabriel smiles. It’s cheeky and heated. “Awe, honey, were you worried about me?”
“Damn fucking right.”
We both let out huffs of laughter or maybe it's just tension. Who knows? He makes the move first, grabbing my right hand. He stares at his ring there, and with his other hand, he gently tugs it off. "I've gotta go do press so I'll take it back now if that's okay. Thanks for looking after it."
“Sure. I thought when Adam brought it to me that you… were giving it back,” I admit, my voice a little husky.
Gabriel shakes his head, sandy hair skimming his forehead. “No. We’re not there. I don’t know where we are but it’s not there.”
“Good.” I smile and a small flicker of hope illuminates my heart. “I’ll wait for you at the hotel.”
He nods. “See you soon.”
* * *
I make all these plans while I'm being driven back to the hotel. What I'll order from room service for him. What I'll change into. How I will stand and most importantly what I will say. I even write down a couple of notes in my phone. A short, sweet to-do list on how to profess my undying love.
But then I get to the hotel and stride across the lobby and before I can get into the elevator, the whole plan goes to shit. Because someone calls out my name. “Axel! There you are!”
My sister is in front of me, walking towards me with her arms extended. “Cordy. What the hell are you doing here?”
“I told you I had a second piece of good news,” she replies as she wraps me in a big hug. She smells like expensive perfume and flowery shampoo. “But you never bothered to ask what it was. Well, surprise! It’s me coming to visit. And thanks so much for the warm welcome.”
