We make our way through his apartment, my pulse racing faster with every step. I don’t know why facing Robbie is freaking me out. Eventually the world will know. Reporters, coaches, teammates. All of them. So what difference does it make if Robbie Ellis is the first person with questions?
Robbie is pulling into the parking lot as we come down the stairs. I’m completely and utterly freaking out inside, which is wrong. I mean fuck, I’ve wanted to come out for forever. Robbie gets out of his car as Declan walks me to mine. He waves from across the lot. “Hey!”
“Hi!” Declan and I call back in unison. I turn to Declan. “So… text me when you’re done. I can come back over and help you pack.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Declan smiles and it’s so full of hope and happiness that it starts to douse the fire of anxiety in my belly. “Shit. We’re doing this.”
“Yeah.”
“So… Cassidy Green, huh?” Robbie says. He’s suddenly right beside us. I didn’t even notice him approach. I was too busy staring at Declan.
“What about Cassidy Green?” Declan asks.
“Abbott dated her,” Robbie announces. “And wants to date her again.”
“What?” Again, we say it in unison and with the same amount of shock, which is a boat full.
Declan turns to me and I shake my head. “I never dated Cassidy Green. I am definitely not dating her again. Where on earth are you getting this from?”
“Mrs.Green’s blog. She said Cassidy was the old flame you were talking about at your Riptide interview thingy,” Robbie explains and now he looks confused. “I know the woman embellishes stuff. Like when she said I burned my hair off when I drunkenly lit my parents’ backyard on fire, but it was only my eyebrows. But, like, in general her articles usually have a grain of truth to them somewhere.”
Declan’s pale eyes slip back to mine. I swear and shake my head. “Well, I’m not dating her. I never dated her. I won’t be doing it in the future.”
Robbie shrugs. “Okay. That’s too bad. She’s cute. And yeah, she’s a Green, but she’s the least offensive one.”
“I should go,” I tell Declan, ignoring Robbie’s comment. “I know the publicist for the team knows about Mrs. Green’s blog. She brought it up to me the other day. I have to make sure this is something she denies if asked.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Declan nods, but his mood has changed. He’s not smiling, and his body language says he’s shut down. Hands shoved in his pockets, head bent, eyes averted. He is not okay with this.
“Don’t forget to text me later, okay?”
“Yup.”
I want to fix this, but I don’t know how exactly, and I don’t want to fumble my way through it in front of Robbie. So I reach out and squeeze his shoulder, which seems to make the mood worse. And then I give up and get in my car and drive home.
The house is quiet. Javi’s car is parked behind Aspen’s in the driveway, and I feel a wave of relief. I’m glad she has someone to count on other than me. I love my sister and would die for her, literally, but I have felt guilt and pressure that goes beyond the normal sibling bond. Because she up and left our parents when they cut me off for being gay. She has no parents because of me, so I take that as extra pressure to make sure she never regrets that choice.
As I open the door to the porch, I get a text alert.
Declan:You were pretty focused on the word date. And I know you too well.
“Fuck,” I whisper to myself and drop onto the wicker couch. He’s right. He knows me better than anyone so there’s not point trying to sugar coat anything.
Abbott:I told you I had a few female hook-ups. She was one. Just once.
He doesn’t respond for a full five minutes. I know because I actually count each one.
Abbott:Does this change anything?
Thought bubbles. Then nothing. Bubbles. Nothing. Bubbles. Nothing. Shit. He’s pulling a Declan and overthinking it. When I don’t get any answer at all, I’m not surprised. But that’s okay. He’s not going anywhere. I know that in my heart. I’ll make sure this doesn’t blow up into a thing and it will pass and the world will eventually figure out who I have always loved. And so will Declan.
15
DECLAN
There’sa knock on my front door and I’m so tempted to ignore it. My shift is over. Abbott is at some meeting about a charity hockey game he’s participating in, so I know it’s not him. And even if he was free, I doubt he’s ready to face me yet. I’m not actually pissed off about the whole Cassidy thing. I mean, I was married so I’m not about to judge him, but the timing of it all just kind of sucks. A lot. And of course, I read Mrs. Green’s stupid article so I know how convincing it sounded. If I was anyone else in this town, I would be checking my mailbox for a wedding invite. She made it sound like Cassidy and Abbott were the stars of Ocean Pines own Hallmark romance with a guaranteed happily ever after.
Another knock. “Deck, honey!”
