We sat there and cried together until we both had no tears left. “There’s a lot to discuss, but I’m glad you’re home. I was thinking about making cookies tonight. How does that sound?”
I sat up and wiped away the leftover tears. “I’d love that, Gram.”
We walked together back to the living room, where Avery and Lu were watching a cartoon. Avery looked over at me with understanding in her eyes. She walked over to me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I held onto her so tightly, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. “We’ll get through this together, okay? I got you,” she said soothingly into my ear.
“Hey, Lu,” I called. “How does pizza sound for dinner tonight?”
“Pizza night, pizza night,” she chanted around the living room.
Gram went over and sat back in her chair in the living room. “Do you want to learn how to make your brother’s favorite cookies with me after dinner?”
“Really?” she asked with wide eyes full of excitement. “Thanks, Gram.” She jumped into her arms, and they stayed connected like that for a long moment. I’m sure she wanted to treasure every small moment because we didn’t know when her last might be. I couldn’t hide the tears that escaped at the image of them linked together. I had to be brave for them. I had to take care of them.
Gram and Luna finally rose from the chair to prepare the cookie dough so it would be ready to roll out after dinner. I took a chair into the kitchen so Gram could sit while Luna and I ran around grabbing all the necessary ingredients. Lu insisted on doing everything unless she needed something off a tall shelf.
“Don’t forget to measure with your hearts. That’s how they taste best,” Gram said with a wink.
I gave her a tear-filled smile, reminiscing on all the times we’ve made cookies together.
Luna did surprisingly well at listening to our instructions, so we finished the dough to cool right as the doorbell rang with the pizza.
We all sat around the table eating our pizza and telling stories. I couldn’t help but pause and admire the three most important people in my life. Gram with her shining light even when she was at her absolute worst. Avery, with her ever-present kind and helpful nature. And Lu, with how she continued to learn and grow in the best ways.
“Are you okay?” Avery asked from next to me.
“Yeah, I’m basking in the moment.” I reached over and rested my hand on her thigh. She put her hand on top of mine and squeezed.
The following weeks after learning about Gram’s cancer diagnosis were some of the hardest. I finished my spring semester at school but made it a priority to be home whenever I could. Gram’s doctor suggested that Gram be put in a palliative care facility to help manage some of her pain. She fought us on it for a while, but then it got so bad she couldn’t even get out of bed. She’s been at La Luz Palliative Care for a few weeks.
As much as I tried to pretend this wasn't happening and she was going to come home good as new, I had to face the facts of what the doctor said. She still seemed so alive when Luna went over and played doctor with her. It was nearly impossible to imagine her gone.
My phone rang and it was Avery calling. “Hey, babe, what's up?”
“Are you home?” she asked, sobbing.
“What’s wrong? I’m on my way now.” I drove a little faster because I’d never heard Avery in such distress before.
“They’re moving Gram…” She paused, continuing to cry. “It’s bad.”
“Baby, take some deep breaths for me, okay? Breathe with me.” As anxious as I was to find out what was happening with Gram, I needed Avery to be calmer so she could tell me. We breathed together for a few cycles before she was relaxed enough.
“Gram has taken a turn for the worse this week. They’re moving her to the building over which is the hospice.”
My vision blurred. Hospice meant she was really dying. My tears fell rapidly.
Avery continued, “They said she may not make it through the week.”
I had to pull over because I couldn’t see the road through my tears anymore. I openly sobbed with no end in sight. Avery stayed on the phone with me, and we cried together.
“We’re going to get through this together,” Avery finally said as our sobs slowed down.
I wiped the tears from my face and composed myself to drive home. “We will for Luna. She’s too young to lose the only parent she’s ever known.”
“We will. I love you, Grant. I’ll meet you at the hospice after I pick up Lu. It’s the building right next to the palliative care center.”
“I love you so much,” I said, hanging up the phone and driving toward the hospice.
Once there, I sat in the parking lot trying to control my emotions for Gram. I had to be strong. They needed me to be strong. I couldn’t break right when they needed me.
