I got out of the car and headed into the building. Avery and Lu were sitting on a beige couch in the corner of the room when I arrived. The room was quite relaxing with the scent of lavender in the air. Gram’s bed was in the middle of the room with a chair matching the couch next to it. There were a few more chairs off to the other side of the bed as well.
I walked straight over to Gram, who seemed to be barely awake. I leaned down and put my head next to hers. “I love you so much,” I whispered into her ear.
She responded weakly, “I love you too. Take care of them, please.”
“I promise I will,” I said, but Gram had fallen asleep. I didn’t know it then, but that would be the last time I heard Gram’s voice.
Gram didn’t wake back up after the first day in hospice. Avery and I took shifts being with her, so she was never alone. She made some moans and groans to indicate she was in pain, so the nurse would come in to give her pain medicine. I held her hand the entire time I was with her, almost like I was afraid to let her go. Lu usually came and told Gram stories, but this time she sat on the other side of Gram and held her hand. She cried for the first time since learning about Gram’s illness.
“Who’s going to listen to all my stories when Gram is gone?” she cried.
“I will,” I said confidently. “No matter how silly or small it is, I will always be here to listen to you, okay? Gram made sure I could take care of you, and I will. Always.”
She smiled at me while wiping tears off her face. Gram’s breathing made a rattling sound, which we learned meant her time was coming to an end. I reached over and held Luna's hand, so we were in a little circle. I’ll never forget what Gram sacrificed to ensure we had a good life. I would do everything in my power to make sure she stayed proud of me.
“You both should go home and get some rest,” Avery advised.
We both kissed Gram on the cheek and went home.
“Can I sleep with you tonight?” Lu asked as we walked into the house.
“Of course, bug,” I said, pulling her close to me.
We didn’t sleep very long before the phone rang at five in the morning. I looked at the screen to see Avery calling. I knew Gram was gone before I even answered.
“Is she gone?” I asked as I answered the phone.
“Yes, but she wasn’t in any pain. She went peacefully.”
“Thank you for being with her, baby. I’m going to tell Lu.” I hung up before she could respond.
I woke Luna up, dreading giving her the worst news of her young life. She woke up fairly immediately and looked over at me.
“Gram’s gone,” she said sadly. I nodded.
We lay in the bed together, holding each other so tightly and crying in each other’s arms. Avery soon came home and joined us. The loss felt so heavy and unreal that neither of us left bed for most of the morning.
But eventually, we had to figure out how to keep on living without her.
TWENTY-NINE
PRESENT
Ischeduled my first local indie book club meeting since my promotion. The author wasn’t available to be present at the meeting, but she provided signed copies and stickers. I could hardly wait to tell Grant that I chose the book we were reading for the first meeting.
He has become one of my best friends, but also so much more. I didn’t have to put on a mask to be more digestible around him. He understood me in a way no one else had before—even Emma. My only hope was to break down his walls and get to know the burdens he has carried for so long. I hoped I could help him carry those burdens, or at the very least, hold his hand while he continued to heal.
My phone rang with a call from Grant. “What do I owe this pleasure?” I asked, answering the call.
“I want to run an idea by you.”
“Hmmm, I’m intrigued,” I said. “What’s the idea?”
“We’ve spent most of our time together at my place because of your ‘no boys allowed’ rule with Emma, but how would you feel about me coming over and making dinner for both of you?” Before I could respond, he continued. “If Emma doesn’t want to feel like a third wheel, I could bring Gio. I’d love the opportunity to get to know the person that’s most important to you.”
Tears gathering behind my eyes and my nose stung. I had never had a partner who was interested in meeting my friends or family without having to beg or grovel. Grant wanted to meet Emma but also considered her comfort. The more his kind and caring side showed, the more my heart filled with adoration for him.
“Serenity, are you there? Did I come on too strong? I’m sorry. Just forget that I said anything…”
