“How serious is it? Do I need to rush home right this second?”
“No,” she responded. “Finish your classes for the day since it’s Friday. Just be here this weekend, okay?”
There was no way I could think about classes when something was wrong with Gram. Gram never even told me she hadn’t been feeling well and seemed fine the last time I visited a few weeks ago. I guess it’s been a little longer between visits, but why wouldn’t she tell me? We told each other everything.Apparently not.
I went back into class, but I couldn’t concentrate. All the letters and numbers were getting mixed up in my brain before I gave up. I needed to get home immediately.
I approached my professor. “Sir, I have a family emergency regarding my grandmother and need to get home as soon as possible. I will still submit the homework on time, but I need to leave class a little early.”
“Of course. Let me know if you need any extra time. I hope all is well.”
“Me too. Thank you,” I said, rushing out of the classroom and back to my dorm to pack up for the weekend. I threw whatever I thought I might need into a backpack and rushed to my car. I had to take a few deep breaths before driving as my body trembled. Gram had been my everything. It was just us for ten years, and then we raised little Luna together. I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without her. I didn’t want to.
I drove all the way home in silence, lost in all my what-if thoughts and fears. When I pulled up to the house, I turned off the ignition and saw Avery open the front door, Lu running out of the house toward my car. I put on my bravest expression andsmiled while opening the door to my car. Luna threw her arms around me as I exited the vehicle. I couldn’t believe she was already ten years old; it still felt like it was just yesterday that she came into our lives. She was too young to have to experience loss and grief if Gram’s condition was as bad as Avery made it seem.
I smiled brightly at Luna. “Hey, bug. Wow, you’re getting big. You must eat your vegetables. Have you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, brother. Avery makes me have at least one at dinner. I only like broccoli, though. She keeps trying new ones, but they all taste like dirt.”
I laughed. “They’re good for you, though. Have you tried green beans yet? Those are my favorites.”
She crunched her face in disgust. “The seeds in those are weird.” I rolled my eyes as Luna headed back into the house.
Avery pulled me aside to give me a light kiss on the lips and pulled me in for a tight embrace. “Gram looks a little pale and rundown. She’s also scared but trying to stay brave for Lu.”
I took a deep breath with Avery’s hand in mine, and we headed into the house. Gram sat in her recliner in the living room, crocheting. Avery was right; she looked defeated. So much different from the last time I saw her. Or maybe I wasn’t paying as much attention because she put on a facade like everything was business as usual. I swallowed back tears, steadying my shaking hands.
“Hey, Gram,” I said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “How are you feeling?”
She looked from me to Avery. “You know, don’t you?”
Avery spoke up, “I only told him to come home, I didn’t tell him everything.”
Gram exhaled a defeated breath. “Let’s go chat in my room,” she said, patting my hand.
I helped Gram stand up from her recliner, and we walked to her room with her lightly grabbing onto my left bicep forsupport. Her small hand felt frail, and it took everything in me not to break down crying right then and there.
She went and sat in the wooden rocking chair in the corner of her room. I sat at the edge of the bed facing her. “What is it, Gram?” I pleaded.
She reached over and grabbed my hand. “My sweet, honey boy. One day, I blinked, and you were all grown up. Time can be fleeting that way.” She looked out the window before turning back to me with tear-filled eyes. “It’s cancer, baby.”
I sat there digesting her words.Cancer.She couldn’t have cancer. But even so, there were treatments, right? She’ll get treatment and be fine. “What are your options? There are chemo and radiation, right? It can’t be that bad, right?” I begged.
She looked at me with the saddest expression I’d ever seen from her. “I’m afraid we may have caught it a little too late. It has spread quite rapidly, and the doctor doesn’t think my body would be strong enough for treatment.”
I don’t know when I stopped listening, but all I could hear was ringing in my ears. The room started to spin. I couldn’t catch my breath. This had to be some sick joke.
My Gram had done everything to ensure we had a stable and loving life, given our circumstances. Everything she did was for us or for her patients at work. “What do you mean by too late? Have you been sick for a while?”
“There were signs here and there this past year, but nothing that I thought I should be too concerned about. I was more tired and had body aches, but I’m sixty-five years old, so I thought it was normal aging pains. Then I noticed blood in my urine…” She trailed off. “I figured it was a urinary infection, but the cancer started in my cervix, and by the time I met with the doctors and had more tests, they saw that it had spread to major organs. By the time my next scans were scheduled, it had spread at anunremarkable rate. They suggest I focus on managing symptoms and remaining comfortable.”
I stood up rapidly. “And just wait for you to die?” I yelled. I paced the room. “We must get a second opinion or a third. We can’t just give up!”
“Come here,” Gram said.
I walked over to her and kneeled in front of her chair to wrap my arms around her waist with my head in her lap. “I’m not ready to lose you yet. We’re not ready. I still have so much to learn from you. You haven’t taught Lu how to make your famous snickerdoodle cookies. There’s so much I don’t want you to miss. It’s not fair.” I cried in her lap.
She rubbed my head while I cried. “I don’t want you kids to remember me as someone who was sick and fighting for her life. I want you to remember the vibrant grandmother who would do anything for you. I don’t want to spend an unnecessary amount of money on treatments that have no guarantee. What I can guarantee is that you and your sister are taken care of, and the only way I can ensure that is by making sure my money goes toward solidifying yourselves a good future. I’m so proud of you, honey boy. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.” I felt her own tears drip onto the top of my head.
