“I can certainly give you more,” he said, gently running his fingers up my arm. He grabbed me by my waist, pulling my back against him so he was spooning me. He nipped at my neck and ran his hands over my body.
“You know that’s not what I mean,” I said through gritted teeth because he knew the effect he had on me. One touch from him and I was a goner. He shifted away from me, so I was on my back again. He hovered over me, bringing his lips to mine. The kiss grew in intensity. I knew he was using me, but I never attempted to stop it.
After we had sex, we walked out to the mailbox together to see if he had gotten his admissions letter. We both only applied to one school, and if I could get in, then he definitely could. I could have gone out of state—my mom could afford it—but a part of me wanted to be close to all the friends I’ve made. It was the one place we stayed long enough for me to make friends.
“It’s here,” Shawn said, pulling the large envelope out of the mailbox. He immediately ripped open the envelope and read the first line aloud: “Dear Shawn Palmer, Congratulations, you’ve been admitted!” We looked at each other with cheesy grins, jumping up and down with excitement. I didn’t have to leave Shawn yet because we were going to the same university.
I hugged him tightly. “Look at us, two college-bound kids.”
We fist bumped. “Heck yes, we are.”
“I have to head home to get ready for my internship, but let's talk about plans later.”
He gave me one last hug before I headed back inside to gather my things to head home.
I pulled into the driveway and quickly ran upstairs to get ready. The house was quiet, so I assumed I was the only one home. I put music on in my room and went into my en-suite bathroom. I left the bathroom door open so I could hear the music from my room. I washed my hair as a sudden unease overcame me. I snapped open my eyes and Andrés stood there.
I was fully exposed through the glass shower door. I quickly tried to cover my most vulnerable areas. “Get out!” I screamed.
“I’m just checking that you got home okay,” he said with a smug expression. My whole body shook. “But this can stay between us, right? I wouldn’t want anything to happen to your mom to prevent her from helping you go off to college now, would I?”
He was threatening meagain.It had been over a year since he had visited me at night. This couldn't seriously be happening again. I couldn't fight him off if anything escalated. Would he take it even further now that I was older? I squeezed my nails into my palms, focusing on the pain instead of on his eyes on me.
He smirked. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to touch you.Just finish your shower. Your mom went shopping and should be back home in an hour.”
I was rooted in fear. Why had I left my door open? Why would I assume I was alone? I was stuck in another nightmare. I quickly finished washing my hair and body with one hand as I tried to keep myself as covered as possible with my other hand.
“Here, I brought a towel for you,” he said, opening the shower door and handing it to me. I snatched it out of his hand and wrapped it around myself. My pounding heart was about to beat out of my chest. I needed to get dressed and go.
He walked over to my bedroom door, giving me the impression that he was leaving, but he stood there watching me. I felt sick to my stomach. Luckily, the door downstairs slammed as my mom arrived home. He quickly turned and left my room.
I shook as I tried to get dressed. My heart raced as I sobbed and shook on my bathroom floor. I couldn't catch my breath. I thought it was over.
Why me?
Would it be like before?
Would the nightly visits happen again?
Should I tell my mom or Shawn?
My thoughts raced as I cried harder.
I didn’t make it to my internship.
TWENTY-EIGHT
AGE 20
The last two years in college, while also maintaining a long-distance relationship with Avery, and being there for my family, had been nothing short of difficult. I hadn’t been able to go back home every weekend like I could last year. I became too involved in school, having a volunteer commitment or a study group to attend on the weekends. I still tried to be home at least twice a month, but I could tell how my absence had weighed on Luna and Avery, especially. Gram always seemed in high spirits when I talked to her or saw her, so it was hard to tell whether she was affected.
I was in calculus when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I checked to see who it was, and it was Avery. She didn’t usually call when she knew I had class, so something must be up. I stood up to step out of class to call her back.
“Grant, you need to come home,” Avery said as she answered the phone.
“What’s going on?” I asked worriedly.
“It’s Gram,” she said. “She hasn’t been feeling super great for the past couple of months. I finally convinced her to go to the doctor, and it’s not good. I should let her tell you.”
