I loved how quickly she became comfortable around me and in my home. A cozy cuddling date after that dream of a kiss last night sounded like pure bliss. I could hardly wait to hold her in my arms again. A soft knock had me racing toward the door.
I opened the door with a wide grin spread across my face. “God, I’ve missed you,” I said, pulling her in for a hug.
She giggled lightly against my chest. “Twenty-four hours too long for you now?”
“Maybe,” I said with a wink. “Follow me to the kitchen for your surprise.”
Instead of following, she grabbed my left bicep to walk beside me. I was so glad I trained my arms today. She squeezed slightly. “Admiring the merchandise?” I teased.
“Did you work out your arms today? I could have sworn they didn’t feel this big yesterday.” She winked right back at me. “Let me guess, maybe?” She giggled.
“You guessed correctly. Any guess as to what your surprise might be?”
“Something to do with food since you’re taking me to the kitchen. Since you knew I ate before I came over, maybe it’s a dessert?”
“Well,” I started, “you’re the smart one of the two of us, because you’re right.”
“Don’t you have a degree in computer engineering? I think that makes you the smart one.” She glanced at me sideways.
I rolled my eyes. “I’m only computer smart, doesn’t count.”
“Fine,” she said, rolling her eyes back at me. “What’s for dessert then?”
I walked over to my freezer and brought out the tub of butter pecan ice cream. Her eyes grew twice their size as I placed it on the counter.
“Where did you find a tub that big?” she practically yelled.
“Apparently, you don’t have an ice cream guy on speed dial like I do.” I nudged against her shoulder, turning to grab a couple of bowls from the cupboard. “Go get comfortable on the couch, and I’ll bring you your ice cream.”
“Are you sure you don’t need help?”
I shot her a stern expression. “Okay, I’m going,” she said, giggling all the way to the couch.
I scooped the ice cream into the bowls, grabbed two spoons, and carried them to the living room. “Do you want to watch something, talk, or both?”
She tilted her head. “Let’s put something on in the background so it’s not so quiet, but I’d love to talk about therapy with you,” she admitted.
I played instrumental music in the background and sat on the couch next to her, barely making contact. “I’m all ears.”
She took the deepest breath where even her shoulders lifted. Whatever she wanted to get off her chest must be heavy.
“I uncovered some buried memories. When I said exes said my mental illness issues were too much for them, I always thought they meant my depression and anxiety…” she trailed off. “I've been avoiding discussing my sexual trauma because if I pretended it didn't exist, then it couldn't control me. Unfortunately, it has anyway.” She shifted her gaze away from me.
I couldn’t even imagine what emotions uncovering those memories must have evoked from her. I'd make it my life's goal to ensure she was always safe and valued. My hands balled into fists at the thought of anyone causing her pain.
“You are so incredibly brave,” I said. I lightly placed my hand on top of hers and squeezed. Her glistening eyes met mine. “Thank you for trusting me to share part of your story with. I hope you know, I’ll take everything as slow as you need to take it. Even if we’re right in the middle of it, if you need to stop, then we’ll stop. Okay? Don’t ever be afraid to tell me no.”
She gave me a small grin, leaning over to press a light kiss on my lips. I kissed her back, and then we leaned our foreheads up against one another. “You don’t know how much hearing those words means to me.”
“I want you to always feel safe with me,” I said. “Your strength is inspiring.”
She leaned back over to her side of the couch and put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. She let out a light moan and did a little happy dance. At least I knew food could always make her dance. She cuddled up close to me, and we ate our ice cream, listening to the background music.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the safe space you picture after your sessions?” she asked.
I smiled. “I love the mountains and trees we have up north, but I found a small mountain town with a lake overlooking a forest of trees about forty-five minutes from here when I first moved. I went up there a lot to sit in front of the lake and admire the changing of the leaves. What about you?”
“Mine is a little vague.” She brought all her hair over her right shoulder, braiding it effortlessly. “I love mountains and trees, too, so I picture that I’m lying atop a mountain overlooking a field of trees and lavender flowers. I always picture a sunset as well because nothing quite beats an Arizona sunset.”
