I visibly flinch, hearing the name of the man who has kept me and Raiden separated for all of these years is no easy feat, but now he’s making an appearance in Raiden’s life. For what? What is his goal for all of this? It doesn’t matter if Raiden is in the hospital, it has nothing to do with Josh or anything Josh is doing. Raiden made the decision to leave him and move on, and he’s not going to sneak his way back in when Raiden won’t even realize it.
“What did he want?” My voice trembles, but I can’t steady it. The waves of emotions flood over me and I can’t find land. My eyes fix on the tube going down Raiden’s throat, I can see the slight bulge where it’s pressing against the inside of his body and nausea broils in my gut.
“He didn't say, but he didn’t sound too happy about not knowing.” Ema’s voice is emotionless as she cradles the bowl of dango in her hands.
They don’t think that he’s coming back, right?Right?
He can’t come back. I won’t allow it. The knowledge of what he’s done to Raiden, tore him down until he was a man I didn’t recognize anymore, is unforgivable. And if he thinks he can waltz in here and fix all of their problems, he has another think coming. My fist to his face, preferably.
“Well, he can fuck right off,” I say with as much confidence as I can muster. “It’s Raiden’s birthday so we shouldn’t even be bringing up that asshole.”
Rodney lifts his hand in acheersmotion and Ema cracks a small smile. Not enough to be considered happy, but enough to show that even with all the grief she’s feeling, there’s still something underneath it all that she can cling to.
“You’re right, let's talk about your plans. Hollis and Connor stopped by earlier to drop their gift off and one from Ace, and they might have let it slip what they’re working on.”
The change in subject is nice, and something I can easily talk about. The newest development that Hollis has been working on is growing fast, faster than we originally thought.
Elijah, the tech genius he is, created a program specifically for Hollis. It’s going to amp up our private security gig into investigations as well. The running program that Connor showed me at Christmas was showing heat sensors on a grid from satellites. The technicalities of it are way above my paygrade, and it seemed a smidge illegal, but who am I to judge if Hollis decides to use it? Apparently he talked to one of his government connections about it and they okayed it so it can’t be that bad.
“We’re working with a different organization. They’re targeting crime in the city area,but specifically focusing on trafficking. Drugs, people, firearms. Whatever they can find.” And then they’ll need our expertise to figure out how to infiltrate. There’s another contractor working with us to deal with the survivors we manage to save. It’s all very convoluted right now, but Hollis is working hard to iron out the details with Elijah to make it more accessible.
“And your parents? What do they think?” Rodney asks, crossing one leg over the other and resting more against Ema. She rests her palm on the crossed one and I fill a twinge of sadness. I don’t know what my parents think because I haven’ttalked to them about it. Hollis and Connor have, but not me. I haven’t been around enough to talk to them. I’m stretching myself thin as it is with work, the house project, and being at the hospital that my parents fell to the wayside.
Fuck, I’m awful. They’ve been nothing short of amazing while Raiden has been here, and I’ve put them on the back burner so they don’t even hear information from me at this point. It’s all handed down information from other people.
“Your mom says you haven’t been stopping by as much, maybe you should stop by and see her tomorrow. She’s going to be at the library handing out water until six or so.”
The drought we’ve been experiencing has been excruciating.there hasn’t been a drop of rain since we had that major storm on Halloween. The storms sleep as Raiden rests in his bed, oblivious to the torture of everyone else waiting patiently for him to wake up.
My birthday is quickly approaching and the longer he’s in a coma the more my worry grows. I’m trying to stay strong for him. For his parents. For myself.
“I’ll go and help her tomorrow, will you be here?” The answer is obvious, because one of us tries to be here at all times, but it's better to double check than have to leave him here by himself.
“I have to go in to work, but I’ll drop Ema off on my way in and then come straight here when I get off. He won’t be alone.” He says it for me as much as for him and Ema.
Our conversation is interrupted by a nurse and the doctor coming in, their light knocks the only warning we get before the door is pushed open.
My problem with the doctor is the fact that his poker face is too good, way too good, because I never know what’s going on inside that head of his. Is he thinking about how to break bad news to us? Or is he thinking about what he’s going to eat for dinner? I’m normally good at reading people, at least I like tothink I am. But between this doctor and Raiden, I’m starting to doubt my abilities.
The doctor nods his head in acknowledgement at us, and walks over to Raiden, checking the machines he’s hooked up to. The nurse walks over to Ema and Rodney, her wide smile is a reprieve from the dreary mood hanging over us like a dark cloud. “How are you two doing?” She chirps, standing beside them and leaning against the wall to be close to them while also keeping her eyes on what the doctor’s doing. I watch him out of the corner of my eye, taking in his slow, calculated movements as he runs his dark fingertips across the gaunt skin of Raiden’s abdomen from where he has the gown pulled up to check Raiden’s vitals.
The doctor slows his fingers down as he approaches the tube in Raiden’s mouth. My eyes are locked in, waiting for the moment to see what happens.
Nothing happens. Raiden doesn’t move, doesn’t react, doesn’t even open his eyes.
The pit in my stomach falls and I exhale a shaky breath. The world is unsteady under my feet as I try to center myself. How can I center myself though when the one person I need isn’t here?
His body is, but his mind and soul aren’t. And I’ll still be patiently counting the minutes until I can hold him in my arms again and hear him whisper my name in between soft kisses.
The doctor looks at the nurse, and shakes his head. She doesn’t react, and keeps talking to Ema and Rodney. I react though, and when he turns I confront him head on.
“What was that about?” I demand, staring down at him. I’ll give it to him, he doesn't flinch. He doesn’t cower at my size or the way I’m trying to intimidate him.
“Nothing of concern, I assure you,” he responds professionally and my jaw ticks.
“That wasn’tnothing of concern,” I snap the words with thesame blase attitude he had. “You shook your head and I want to know why.”
The doctor glances over my shoulder to see Ema and Rodney deep in conversation with the nurse and he looks back at me. His brown eyes will haunt me in my sleep for the rest of eternity. “I’m not sure if Raiden will recover.”
